Captive
by TaliaThompson
Summary: Clay is presumed to be killed in action while on a mission in Cambodia. The team has to find a way to cope with their loss and return to the field or risk being separated. A year later a video surfaces that turns their world upside down.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! I know I still have a chapter or two left on my other story, but truth is, inspiration is completely gone for that story at the moment. I promise it'll get finished; I just needed a little break from it. In the meantime, this is a story that won't leave me alone that I have been working on for a few weeks. The outline is pretty much finished for it so it just needs to be typed out. As of right now its probably going to be two separate stories unless I can come up with a way to combine them both into one. Like I said, the outline is practically finished and I have to say, this could quite possibly be one of my longest stories yet!**

It was no secret that Bravo had an uneasy feeling about this mission. They made their feeling clear from the beginning.

Chann Khmer is one of the smartest, most dangerous bomb makers that they've come across so far. He claims to be responsible for multiple terrorist attacks throughout Europe and Asia, killing hundreds of innocent people including a good number of Americans. He has been at the top of the 'most wanted' list in multiple countries for the past few years. Every time there has been a chance to capture or kill Khmer, he somehow managed to slip away and wouldn't resurface on anyone's radar for months.

Lately though, Khmer has been getting a little cocky. A German team almost managed to grab him alive three months ago. Not surprisingly, he got away, but he has shown his face in public four times since that day. It's almost like he's taunting them now.

Now though, it's Bravo's turn to go after him, and because he's such a high value target, Alpha will be joining. Mandy and her team have been communicating with other agencies around the world and have finally built a solid intel package. As she places his picture on the board, they all lean back in their chairs.

"As all of you are aware, this Chann Khmer. We have solid intel showing us he has been working out of an old warehouse in a small village in Mimot, Cambodia. There have been multiple sightings of him in and around town in the last few weeks and we have reason to believe he is planning an attack on American soil." Mandy began to inform them.

"How do we know it's not a trap? This guy is a freaking ghost. He's only seen when he wants to be seen." Jason interrupted.

"We don't know it's not a trap. In fact, we believe that there is a pretty high chance that it is one. The higher ups believe it's a chance worth taking though which is why we are sending our two best teams in. This will be a kill or capture mission. Due to the impending threat of an attack on American soil, you leave in 3 hours." Mandy finished.

Three hours wasn't much time to get home, pack, say goodbye to the family, drive back to base and load the plane but the understood the urgency to get in the air. They manage to get everything done with time to spare, allowing them to get in the air quicker.

As they prepare to land, Mandy fills them in on a few last-minute details, showing them floor plans of the warehouse, satellite images of the village, village population which is rather small due to many people abandoning their homes looking for a safer place to live, and where in the village Khmer is believed to be.

They arrive to the outskirts of the village around 3 am. Just about everything is dark and quiet, just like they were hoping for. The only building with a light on is coming from the warehouse. They carefully enter the sleeping village. As they approach the warehouse, they can see the shadows of people moving around on the walls.

"Ray, Clay, I want you two on overwatch. Head high." Jason whispers.

Ray and Clay nod and then make their way to one of the abandoned homes across the street from the warehouse, staying in the shadows along the way in case they also have someone on overwatch. As soon as Ray and Clay reach their position, Ray notices a blind spot. "Bravo one, Bravo Two… We got a blind spot on the south east corner. Requesting permission to split up. Keep six here and I'll head over there." Ray asked through the radio.

"Copy Bravo two. Let me know when you're in place." Jason replied.

With permission granted, Ray and Clay fist bumped each other and Ray was on his way. It took him no more than 3 minutes to reach the new position. "Bravo One, I'm in place. You're good to go." Ray radioed to Jason.

Once Ray and Clay were both in place, it was time for the remainder of Bravo and Alpha to enter the warehouse. Once they enter, their surprised to see the first floor practically empty. No signs of anyone and definitely no signs of bombs being made. They are about to head up the stairs when Davis's voice come to life in their ear pieces.

"All Bravo elements, be advised, ISR shows two large vehicles heading your way." She said.

"I got visual." Clay said, being the first to see the incoming vehicles in the distance.

It only takes a few minutes for the vehicles to become Close enough for Ray to also have a visual.

Meanwhile back inside the building, they find the owners of the shadows they seen on the walls. As it turns out, they were just a couple of curious teens who snuck out in the middle of the night to see what was so scary about the warehouse and its occupants that caused so many people to move out. Unfortunately for all of them, there was nothing to be found. No bombs, no guns, but more importantly, no Khmer.

"Bravo one, be advised, the two vehicles are approaching your location." Clay radios to his boss.

"Take care of it Bravo six, no one gets in here." Jason responds.

Clay opens fire almost immediately after Jason tells him to take care of it as people begin to pile out of the vehicles. Moments later, Ray joins in on the action.

It takes mere minutes for a majority of the group to be wiped out. Three of the guys managed to scramble back into one of the vehicles and drive off.

As the gunfire dies down and coming up empty on the warehouse, Jason instructs Ray and Clay to rejoin the team before any more hostiles show up.

Clay quickly packs his stuff up and begins to head down the two flights of stairs he came up. As he turns a corner to head down the last flight of stairs, the butt end of a rifle straight to the face catches him by surprise, causing him to lose his balance and tumble down the remaining stairs. On the way down to the bottom, he somehow manages to lose his helmet and his right shoe.

It takes him a minute to recompose himself. His head is pounding, he has a large gash on his cheek that's bleeding pretty heavily and his entire body aches. During that minute it takes to recompose himself, he has three guys on top of him.

Despite still being slightly disoriented from both the gun to his face and the fall down the flight of stairs, Clay manages to fight back as hard as he can. He does surprisingly well until one of them pulls a knife and stabs him in the back of the shoulder. Clay instantly drops to his knees as the large, ragged edge blade pierces his skin and then is ripped out as another guy tackles him to his back.

Clay can feel the blood pouring out of his shoulder, but before he can do anything, is turned over to his stomach and his wrists tied behind his back. Clay tries his hardest to keep fighting but the pain and the three large guys wrestling with him are just too much for him to handle.

With his hands tied behind his back, two of the men roughly grab an arm and stand him up, causing a slight growl of pain to escape from Clay despite him trying not to give them that satisfaction. They hold him up as the third guy appears right in front him with an evil grin on his face.

Despite the blurry vision that is now setting in, there is no denying that Chann Khmer is the guy standing in front of him. Clays stomach churns at the sight of him.

Khmer eyes Clay up and down as if he's examining his new trophy or something. Clay's not sure if its his vison playing games with him but he definitely doesn't like the look in his eye. Clay finds himself in a staring contact as they lock eyes.

Not wanting to waste too much time and risk the rest of the team coming to look for their missing man, Khmer orders his two men to head for the tunnel. As they turn and head towards it, they stop. Khmer grabs Clay's radio and throws it against the wall, the impact causing it to break into three pieces. They then disappear into a hidden tunnel in the wall.

/

Ray makes it to the ware house rather quickly. He turns around expecting Clay to be right behind him. When he doesn't see him, he begins to get that uneasy feeling again.

"Where's Bravo six?" Jason asked, expecting them to both arrive at the same time.

"Not sure. Didn't see him exit the building, was hoping he was already here." Ray stated.

"God dammit." Jason muttered as he reached for his radio. "Bravo Six, Bravo One, come in." After receiving no reply, he waited a few seconds before trying again. "Bravo six, status?" This time he had a little more urgency to his voice. When Clay still didn't answer, he felt sick to his stomach. "Sonny, Brock, take Cerb and go find him."

Sonny, Brock and Cerb didn't make it more than three steps before the building Clay had been in, exploded and crumbled to the ground, taking part of the neighboring buildings with it.

They all stopped in their tracks and watched in disbelief, hoping and praying that Clay made it out before the building collapsed.

"Bravo One, this is TOC, what did we just witness?" Blackburn asked with concern apparent in his voice. "Give me a SITREP, over" he said again when no one answered.

Jason was so focused on the collapsed building, still waiting for Clay to come out of nowhere and rejoin the group that he didn't even hear Blackburn. In fact, it was Full Metal that replied. "TOC, Alpha One, the building Bravo Six was in was just blown up. No sign of Bravo Six yet."

"Good copy Alpha One, keep me updated." Blackburn replied.

"Will do." Full Metal replied to Blackburn then turned to the rest of the group. "Let's go find our guy."

**Hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter. As the story unfolds, there's a good chance some of the chapters will get longer and longer, which I know will make a bunch of you guys happy. **


	2. Chapter 2

Before heading towards the destroyed building, Jason comes back to his senses. Maybe, just maybe, Clay managed to get out before it tumbled to the ground. "Havoc, Bravo one, any movement outside the building before it blew up?" Jason asked.

"Sorry Bravo one. ISR shows no one entering or leaving the building prior to the explosion." Davis answered.

All of their hearts sank. They knew there was a very slim possibility that Clay could have survived this, but they had to find him. Dead or alive, they were bringing their boy home. They started shifting through rubble looking for any signs of him, carefully avoiding the many hot spots of fire that still burned.

Brock had unleashed Cerb, giving him the command to search for Clay. Cerbs nose went straight to the ground, searching for any kind of scent he could find that belonged to Clay. After 45 minutes of digging and climbing through the rubble they found nothing.

Blackburn had asked for multiple updates throughout their search. He knew they weren't going to leave until they had Clay. During his most recent radio contact, he informed them that he had managed to arrange for a search party which included two more dogs, to join in on the efforts.

While waiting for the search party, Cerb starts whining and digging at the rubble. Everyone quickly, but carefully, makes their way to his location and starts moving the broken pieces of wood and cement trying to find what Cerb wanted.

"Clay! Hey Clay? Can you hear me? Come on bud, answer if you can hear me!?" They all went silent, listening for some kind of response as Sonny kept calling out, hoping for the best and that Clay was just trapped under all the rubble. He wasn't surprised when there was no answer. Chances are that he's not even conscious because he refuses to believe the worst.

It isn't until they find his mangled gun that they start to accept the possibility that things could be worse than they expected.

When the search party arrives, they manage to scour through the rubble a lot quicker. They find one shoe and his broken radio, each item giving them less and less hope of finding him alive. It isn't until Sonny finds Clays charred, damaged helmet in a small pool of blood that they are forced to face the reality that there could be nothing left of Clay for them to find. Refusing to accept that reality though, they keep searching.

Hours later, with no board or cement slab left unturned they are forced to accept the facts. There's too much evidence to ignore.

The ride back to base was the quietest ride they've had in a while. No one said a single word, not even from the guys from Alpha.

Sonny not surprisingly takes it the hardest. He hasn't let go of Clays damaged helmet since they found it.

Once they return to base, they all go their separate ways. Brock takes Cerb out for a game of fetch. Trent goes to the infirmary to do some inventory. Jason goes straight to Blackburn's office. Ray goes to find some place to pray and Sonny goes to sit on Clays bed, still holding Clay's helmet.

Jason enters Blackburn's office on the verge of tears. He sits down in a chair across from Eric's desk but doesn't say anything. They sit there in silence for what feels like eternity.

Jason tries his best to hold back the tears, but ultimately fails. At that point he breaks the silence. "I guess it was a trap after all." Jason said. "You know what the worst part is? We didn't even get him. Khmer got away…again and Clay died for nothing. Nothing!"

"He didn't die for nothing Jason. He died keeping you guys safe. Every sniper knows that's a very real possibility when they go off on their own. Don't take that away from him." Blackburn stated.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Jason replied dryly. "It's hard enough to lose a brother. It's even harder when we don't even have a body to bring back, Blackburn."

Eric realized there was nothing he could say that was going to make Jason feel better. Only time was going to that. Time was something they were all going to need.

/

Clay tried his best to fight the strong hold of the two guys latched on to his arms as they dragged him through the tunnel. When he heard the explosion he froze, only to be forced to keep moving by their holds. He knew his team wouldn't have made it inside that fast. They would have waited at their location for a few minutes and only after they realized he wasn't coming, would have gone looking for him. That much he did know.

As they reached the end of the tunnel, a solid, heavy black hood was placed over his head and he was shoved into the back of a vehicle. He felt his heart racing in his chest, weakness growing more and more as well as confusion. His head pounded, shoulder throbbed and body ached. He felt every drop of blood leaving his body and at this point, wished the blood loss would just do its thing and knock him out already. It was way better than the alternatives. He would rather die in a pool of his own blood then be subjected to the torture he was likely going to be put through if he remains conscious. Luckily for him, his wish comes true and the darkness over takes him.

Unfortunately, it doesn't last. He wakes up an unknown amount of time later in an unknown location. He blinks a couple times trying to clear his vision. As his vision slowly returns, he looks around, notices shackles on his wrists connected to a chain that's only a few feet long and connected to the wall. _At least my hands are in front of me_ he thinks to himself.

Once he looks up, he notices a group of people all staring at him, which at first is a bit unsettling, but then he notices they are also chained up. He doesn't know if he should be grateful that they weren't there to beat the shit out of him or scared that he obviously isn't the first person this scumbag has abducted. And judging by the conditions of some of these people, they've been here a while.

He looks around, studying each individual person. When his eyes land on the guy next to him he sees a tall, muscular guy with dark brown hair and blue eyes. The kind gives him a kind sympathetic smile and a small wave. Clay returns with a confused smile.

"American?" The guy asks with a heavy French accent.

Clay nods his head, regretting it almost immediately. He winces and squints his eyes shut.

The guy points to himself. "My name…Paul."

Clay looks back up to the man. "Clay" he replies.

Before anymore can be said, a group of eight or so men enter the room. They walk heavily down the isle straight towards Clay. He takes note of the fear on the faces of many of the other captives as they scoot as far back against the wall as they can as the men walk by. _Well fuck, this should be fun. _

As they approach him, he immediately notices one of the guys as one of the guys who abducted him. They force him to stand up, which Clay is happy to do because it puts him at eye level with these guys rather than him having to look up to him.

He was a bit surprised that they spoke Vietnamese to him, a language he has studied a bit but isn't quite fluent in. Luckily, he knows enough to be able to decipher what the guys say. He would never let them know that though. He is a bit surprised when they unshackle his wrists, but he knows its because they are taking him to where ever Khmer is.

Refusing to be scared into submission, he throughs a mean right hook to the nearest guy causing some of the captives to gasp out of fear. The guy stumbles back and the rest of his crew are on him in seconds. They retie his wrists with rope, way too tight for comfort and then force him out of the door.

Its dark outside, but he's able to make out a tree line bordering the village. He see's more wood huts that look identical to the one they just dragged him out of and he can't help but wonder if they hold more prisoners or if that's where these guards stay.

As they approach a building on the opposite end of the village, they drag him up the stairs and in through the door. Inside, Khmer is sitting at a desk just waiting for him. He stands up as they enter and smiles. He points to chair and offers Clay a seat. Clay defiantly declines, although he would love to sit and get off of his sore legs. Khmer doesn't like Clay's decision so has the guards force him into the chair. Clay tries to stand again, not wanting to do anything they ask him to do, but they forcefully hold him down and eventually just tie him to the chair.

Once he is confident Clay can't get up, he dismisses all of the guards except for one, who sits quietly in a corner in case Clay manages to somehow get loose.

Khmer returns to his desk and has a seat. He looks up at Clay who is giving him a death glare, and smiles. "You know, that was some pretty impressive shooting you had there in Mimot." He pauses waiting to see if Clay responds. When he doesn't, he continues. "You managed to take out an impressive amount of my men. Unfortunately for you, one of those guys happened to be my younger brother.

Clays stomach churns again, but he shows no signs of it. _No one ever mentioned anything about a brother_ he thought to himself.

"I could have easily let you bleed out until you died back there, but that would have been much too easy on you." This time Khmers grin turned evil. "I have some big plans for you. And trust me, by the time I'm done with you, if you're not already, you are going to wish I let you bleed out in that van. You are going to beg me to kill you. You are defiant now, but we will see how long that lasts. You will break. They all break."

Clay continued to glare at him, refusing to give him any sort of reaction. _There's no way in hell I'm going to break. I can take whatever they throw at me. I don't plan on being here all that long anyway. My team will come for me. They always come for me. I just need to stay alive until they get here. I can do that. _Clay gave himself a mental pep talk. He knew the next few days were going to suck ass. All he had to do was stay strong and endure it until his team could find him.

Fed up with the lack of reaction from Clay, Khmer nodded to the guard in the corner, who then opened the door to allow the rest of the guards in. The men entered and they untied him. As they were about to walk out the door, Khmer shouted to them "Take him to the box."

Clay had no idea what they meant, but judging by Khmer's face, it wasn't anything good.

**Hope you guys enjoyed Chapter two as much as I enjoyed writing it. The evil muse has shown up and is showing no signs of going away any time soon. I think I also managed to find a way to combine everything into one story which will just make it that much longer!**


	3. Chapter 3

With Khmer once again in the wind, there is no reason for Bravo to remain in Cambodia. As hard as it is to leave with out Clay, they are eager to get back home to their families.

As they load up the plane, they place the shoe, broken gun and radio into a box and cover it with a flag, the same as they would have done if there would have been a body to recover, but there wasn't. There was no body and that stung. Clay deserved more than that. He deserved a proper funeral, not a funeral with a box full of some of his personal possessions. He didn't deserve to die in the first place, but in this line of work they know it's a very real possibility.

Sonny still refused to give up the helmet and no one had the heart to take it from him. Clay was Sonny's best friend. They were always together both in the field and at home, something no one could have predicted after Clay first joined the team.

Once the plane was all loaded, they hung their hammocks as close to Clay's casket as they could get. The fact that there were only five hammocks didn't feel right so Jason got up and walked over to Clays stuff, pulled out his hammock and set it up. Just seeing it strung up helped in a sense.

When they land, their families are there waiting. Naima and the kids, Emma and Mikey, Trent's wife and Brocks fiancé. It's obvious they've been trying to deal with the news about Clay as well based on the red, puffy eyes of each of them.

Ray breaks down the second he hit Naima's arms. She holds him tight, trying to be strong for him, but still letting her own tears flow. She has no words to offer him at the moment so she just stands there hugging him tight until he manages to compose himself enough to head to their car.

Jason tries to remain strong for Emma and Mikey. They've dealt with more death in the last few months than most people do their entire lives. He hugs them tight before driving them home.

Trent's wife walks up to him and holds his face in her hands, wiping away tears with her thumbs. As the tears get heavier, she pulls him in for a hug.

Brocks fiancé is the newest to the group. She's met Clay a couple times, but not enough to have that solid connection that the rest of the wives had. That doesn't mean she didn't she a few tears. She liked Clay, was looking forward to getting to know him better. Now she will never have that chance. This was the first death she has dealt with that really impacted Brock. Yeah, she was there when Adam was killed, but she had never met Adam and Brock had only run with him a few times. Seeing Brock and Cerb walk off that plane looking completely broken nearly broke her heart. It's a look she hoped she never had to see again.

Sonny stopped at the casket before departing the plane, stood there for a few minutes and then placed his helmet on top. Davis lingered in the background keeping a close eye on him. As he stepped off the plane, he didn't say anything to anyone, just walked to his truck and left. Lisa knew exactly where he was headed so jumped into her car and followed. As she walked into the bar, she saw him already sitting on a bar stool, throwing back a shot. She walks up next to him, rubbing her hand up and down his back and then asks the bartender for two more. She makes a mental note that Sonny refuses to look at her, he's just staring straight ahead with a distance look in his eye.

When the shots come, he finally snaps out of his trance. They toast to Clay and then down the shots.

"I miss him Davis." Sonny said somberly. "I miss him real bad."

"I know Sonny. I know. We all do." She replied, gently rubbing his back.

They ordered a few more shots and a couple beers before Lisa backed off the drinking. She knew Sonny wasn't gonna quit till he was numb or passed out and she needed to be sober enough to help get him home and make sure he didn't do anything stupid.

/

Clay was taken to a small wooden box in the middle of the village and forced inside. It was high enough for him to be able to stand comfortably, but only long enough for him to sit with his knees pulled up to his chest.

At first glance Clay assumed he would have no problem breaking out of it and making a beeline for the jungle. He quickly realized he was mistaken as he was shoved inside and seen it was lined with metal slabs.

Once the door was slammed shut and locked, he couldn't see a thing. He was gonna have to wait until morning when the sun shone through the cracks. In the meantime, he sat down, with his knees against his chest, then wrested his arms and head on top of them. _Might as well get some sleep while I can. Not like I can do much now anyways._ He thought to himself.

When he finally opened his eyes, it was clearly day time. There were cracks of light shining through certain areas allowing him to get his first real visual of his hopefully temporary living quarters. He looked around, hoping to find some sort of weakness in the structure, but couldn't find a single one. _Whoever built this knew what they were doing. _

The longer he sat in there, the hotter he got. It felt like he was shoved into an oven that someone later turned on. He was dripping wet from all of the sweat pouring out of him. Later his head started pounding, eventually leading to him feeling dizzy and sick to his stomach. He wanted so badly to start pounding on the walls for someone to let him out, but he knew doing so would only give them what they wanted and it wasn't likely they were going to let him out anyway. So, he sat there miserable, irritated, thirsty, prayed for it to either end or for Bravo to swoop in for the rescue. Neither of which happened.

As night rolled back around, it brought a little bit of relief, but not much. He came to the realization that this is how it was going to end. With him in a box dying of heat stroke or something. It had crossed his mind a few times during the day, but he had refused to accept the outcome until now.

An hour after he accepted his fate and about 4 hours after the sun went down, the door opened. He was woken up by the creaking of the door and was surprised to see he wasn't dead. He thought for sure once he fell asleep there would be no waking back up.

Two large men reached in and grabbed him, forcing him out which caused his head to spin even more than it already was. Once he stopped moving, he was able to control it a bit and regain his balance. He looked around to see he was surrounded by men with guns. In front of him stood Khmer.

Khmer handed him a cup of water which Clay greedily grabbed, ashamed of how desperate he looked. He quickly downed the liquid, annoyed that there was just enough to tease him and not actually quench any of his thirst.

With the cup empty he dropped it to the ground out of annoyance and shame. He looked up to Khmer and locked eyes.

"Get him out of my sight." Khmer ordered and instantly the two guards locked arms with him again and drug him back to the wood hut.

As they enter and people are startled out of their sleep, Clay is thrown back down to his original spot next to Paul. They hold him at gunpoint as the rope is removed from his wrists, revealing dark bruises and rope marks, and the shackles are reapplied, followed by the chain.

Clay, at the moment, was too weak from the heat exhaustion to even think about fighting back. When they threw him to the ground, he didn't even attempt to get up, so watching them hold multiple guns to his head felt a bit excessive.

Once the guards were finished returning him to the chains they turned to leave, but not before one of them gave him a swift kick to the stomach cause Clay to curl into fetal position.

The guards left and Paul instantly crawled over to Clay's side. "My God. How did you manage to piss them off so bad already?" He asked.

Clay was in no mood for talking but gave an answer anyway. "Killed Khmer's brother." He answered in a hoarse whisper.

"Who?" Paul asked.

Clay rolled his eyes; couldn't this guy just leave him alone for now and let him sleep. "Khmer, the guy in charge."

"How do you know his name? No one in here has been able to figure it out. We barely even see him." Paul was now truly intrigued.

"Look, I don't mean to be rude, but I'm really not up for all these questions right now. I just want to sleep. I'm sorry." Clay said as he rolled over, putting his back to Paul.

"I'm sorry. I understand. Get some rest." Paul stated.

Clay was thankful that Paul seemed to understand. He seemed like a genuine guy; someone he'd like to have in his corner until Bravo could find him.

The next morning Clay was woken up by bells ringing loudly followed by the door swinging open. Everyone quickly stood to their feet. Paul keeping his face towards the door but looking down at Clay with just his eyes mumbled "Hurry. Stand up."

Clay made his way to his feet as quickly as he could, which quite frankly, wasn't all that fast. He still felt dizzy, his head was still trying to find a way to kill him and his vision was a little blurry. If he didn't get water soon, he wasn't sure if he would last long enough for Bravo to find him.

Unfortunately for Clay, the guards noticed how long it took for him to get up. One of them stormed over to him, wrapped his hand around his throat and pinned him against the wall. It all happened so fast that Clay's muddled mind didn't even have time to react or try to defend himself.

"When we enter, you stand! Understand!?" The guy yelled at him.

Clay stared defiantly, trying to loosen the guys grip around his throat before he passed out, but was ultimately too weak at the moment.

Luckily for Clay, one of the other guys, who clearly outranked the guy who currently had him pinned, came over and forced him to let go, resulting in Clay instantly dropping to his knees and taking some much-needed gasps of air. Clay heard him tell the other guy they couldn't kill him, that Chann wanted him to suffer for as long as possible for killing his brother. He said it Vietnamese, so Clay had to act like he heard nothing.

The guards then proceeded to unchain everyone and led them out the door.

"Don't worry. It's only breakfast time." Paul assured Clay, who helped Clay up and threw his arm around his shoulder to help him stay balanced.

Clay hated how weak he appeared so early, but was grateful for Paul and even more grateful that he didn't offend Paul the night before.

They entered the 'cafeteria' which was essentially just a large tent with a couple tables and sat down. Moments later the guards plopped small bowls of rice and a cup of water in front of them.

As much as he wanted it, the stubborn side of Clay didn't want to touch the bowl or the cup. He sat there just staring at it.

"You really need to eat and drink. Trust me. It's gonna be a long day."

Clay looked at his new friend. "Why's that?"

"They make us do all the manual labor around here. Cut down trees, clearing paths through the jungle, building new barracks when the others become too full. Sometimes we have to do farm work like planting things or picking crops. So please, eat and drink. Here, you can have my water too. You need it way more than I do." Paul explained.

Clay had so many questions, but when Paul informed him they only had so long to eat, he decided to down the rice and his glass of water before asking anything. He tried to refuse Paul's glass of water, not wanting to take anything away from him, but Paul insisted he take it, something Clay was extremely grateful for.


	4. Chapter 4

Ray stood in front of his mirror, making sure everything on his dress blues was perfect. He had been dreading this day since the day they lost Clay.

He spotted Naima walking into the room in her knee length black dress and as he watched her walk up to him, she wrapped her arms around him and rested her chin on his shoulder. "Are you ok?" She asked him. It was a rhetorical question. She knew he wasn't. None of them were, her included, but it was her way of making sure he still had his head on straight and wasn't going to revert back to the old Ray.

Ray nodded his head, still staring into the mirror as he watched the tears escape from his red, puffy eyes. After he was confident he could speak without sounding like a fool he asked "Are you sure we should bring the kids? We can always drop them off at your parents on the way."

"Absolutely. He was- is- will always be family. They loved their Uncle Clay." She hugged him tighter as both of their tears began to fall harder.

God this day was gonna be hard!

"I'll be ready in 5 minutes. I just need a minute." Ray sobbed as Naima let go and went to get the kids in the car.

He grabbed a picture of him and Clay out of a scrapbook his kids had made for him for his birthday and placed it in his pocket. It was from Clay's first mission being sent high on his own where he no doubt saved their asses. When they returned to base, they sat around a fire with a couple celebratory beers to celebrate his first solo sniper assignment with them. Of course, Ray joked around that he only did so well because he had a great teacher. At the end of the night, before they headed to bed, Davis asked to get a picture of the two best snipers in the Navy. They originally gave her a hard time about it, but now, Ray was grateful that she did.

Once he pulled himself together for what seemed like the tenth time, he headed out to the car where Naima and the kids were waiting.

They pulled into the church parking lot and found the rest of Bravo was already there. The only people missing were Sonny and Davis.

"I'm gonna take the kids and go sit with the other family members. You go see your brothers." Naima kissed Ray and then was on her way to the other side of the parking lot where the other wives and their kids were.

As time ticked on, they started to get worried that they weren't there yet. So many different scenarios ran through their heads on where they could be. Finally, right before Blackburn was about to call Lisa, they pulled in.

They fully expected either a barely coherent or highly hungover Sonny, but as he exited the car, he didn't appear to be either.

"Sorry we're late. Sonny had to re-write his speech about 27 times." Davis apologized.

Sonny just shrugged as he folded the piece of paper and put it in his pocket. "It had to be perfect." He said with a shaky voice. It was obvious he had just pulled himself together, kind of like the rest of them.

As they walked inside, the corridor leading towards the pews was lined with posters filled with all kinds of pictures of Clay from the time he was little to the last one ever taken. They could only assume Ash had partaken in that.

They walked through another set of doors and seen Full-Metal and Derek posting watch at the head and foot of the casket. They were thankful Alpha had volunteered to take the night shift of casket watch over night, allowing them to attempt to get a good night's sleep and prepare for the funeral, while not leaving Clay's empty casket unguarded. It was a tradition for there to constantly be two casket guards. They weren't going to let the fact that there was no body squash that tradition.

Sonny nearly turned around and walked out at the sight. "I can't do this." He cried, but as he turned around, Brock, of all people, wrapped him in a bear hug.

"You got this Sonny. You got this." He kept repeating as Sonny broke down. Brock tried his hardest to keep himself composed but he ultimately failed. At this point, Brock wasn't sure who he was trying to convince was ok.

Friends and family started piling into the church and taking a seat. Right before things were about to start, Blackburn informed Sonny and Brock it was time to take their seats.

As soon as Jason, Sonny and Brock returned to their seats, the doors were shut and priest got things started with some opening remarks and a prayer. Following that was some scripture readings from a bible about life and death and what comes next.

Jason looked over to Sonny who was bouncing his leg up and down, rubbing his sweaty palms on his pants legs. He knew how much Sonny hated speaking in front of a large crowd of people so he was pretty surprised when Sonny asked to be the one to give a eulogy. "You sure you want to do this?" Jason leaned over to whisper.

Sonny slowly shook his head. No, he didn't want to do this. He didn't want to do any of it. All he wanted was to be in some run-down country hunting bad guys with his best friend, but that wasn't possible. "I have to do it."

Jason patted Sonny on the knee as the priest finished up his last few words, indicating it was Sonny's time to shine.

Sonny reluctantly stood up. His legs felt like they could give out on him at any given moment. He shuffled his way by Trent and Jason and then slowly walked up the 3 stairs and walked to the podium. His hands shook as he pulled his speech out of his pocket. He felt like he was going to be sick. He turned his back to the large crowd, most of which were Seals Clay went through basic training with all the way to people he served with. Taking a deep breath, he pushed the nausea down and returned to facing the crowd. Wiping a tear from his eyes he began.

"For those that don't know me, my name is Sonny Quinn. Clay was my best friend. I'm not the greatest talker so I promise to keep this short and sweet. When Clay first joined Bravo, I couldn't stand him." He did a fake laugh as the memories of Clay joining the team flashed through his head. "I though he was a cocky, arrogant know it all that was going to get himself or one of us killed. Boy was I wrong. He ended up being one of, if not, the best, Seals I have ever served with. I would do just about anything to have him back here with us right now and for this to all just be a really bad dream but the reality of it is it's not. Clay deserved better than this. He deserved to live, have a family, grow old. Unfortunately, in this line of work, that's not always a guarantee. So, listen here pretty boy." Sonny looked up to the sky and started talking to Clay. "I know you're up there with your grandparents, Brian and Adam having a good ole time, but don't forget about us down here. Watch our backs. Keep us safe and I promise we'll keep your memory alive. Until we meet again. Rest easy, Clay. We'll take it from here."

Sonny returned to his seat and Davis, who was sitting behind him, handed him some tissues and squeezed his shoulder. "You did great." She whispered.

Sonny grabbed the tissues, wiping the tears away and nodding his head, hoping he never had to do anything like that again.

The rest of the funeral was pretty much a blur for him. There were a few more speakers, a 21-bell ceremony and then ended with bagpipers playing Amazing Grace.

As soon as the entire funeral was over, they all headed to the bar to have a drink in Clays memory. This was a day they had all dreaded but they somehow managed to get through it.

Before any of them became too many drinks in, Blackburn rounded Bravo up for a quick word. "I know this is the last thing you want to talk about but Khmer is completely in the wind. We're doing everything we can to try to track him down. Until then though, you've temporarily been taken off rotation to give yourselves some time to grieve. I promise if anything pops up with Khmer, you will be the first team to know."

"We better be. We're getting that son of a bitch for what he did to Clay." Sonny interrupted.

"There's one more thing…" Blackburn hesitated before continuing. "Starting in two days, you all have mandatory therapy sessions."

**Hey guys! I'm glad you're all enjoying this story as much as I am enjoying writing it. I'm sorry there was no Clay update in this chapter but I felt like it deserved to be a chapter on its own. I promise the next chapter will have a whole lot of Clay in it and he's not gonna be having a good time. Anyway, thanks again for all the likes and reviews. They mean a lot to me and I'll try to hurry up and get the next chapter posted as soon as possible. **


	5. Chapter 5

Blackburn was surprised when no one had protested the therapy sessions. Sure, he got a few eye rolls, not no one fought it. He didn't know if it had to do with the stress of the day and no one having the fight in them at the moment or if they were all taking it hard enough that they were willing to open up about their feelings. Whatever it was, Eric was just glad it didn't lead to an argument.

When the two days pass and it's time for the therapy sessions to begin, they all show up. At first they start as group sessions, with no mention of clay. It's mostly just the therapist getting to know them and letting them get to know here.

After the first two sessions, they begin their individual sessions and that's where things take a turn. The therapist, Dr. Taylor, begins bringing up Clay and feelings and memories. It becomes too much.

Jason and Sonny has theirs on the same day, back to back so decided to drive together. Jason went first and made it the full 45 minutes. When he came out of the room, his eyes were red and swollen. Sonny could tell he had definitely been crying.

"You good boss?" Sonny asked as he stood up. Jason wasn't normally a crier. He didn't even cry after the therapy sessions with Nate. That made Sonny feel even more anxious about his own session. _What could this lady possibly have said to get him all emotional like this? _Sonny thought as his mind started going a mile a minute.

"Yeah" Jason nodded as he took a seat. "You're up."

Sonny hesitated before walking in the door. He was nowhere ready to face what was about to happen but he knew there wasn't much of a choice. He took a deep breath and entered the room, shutting the door behind him.

As he entered, Dr. Taylor stood up and shook the man's hand. She had been warned that Sonny was most likely going to be the toughest of the group. He wasn't one that typically opened up about his feeling and on top of that, Clay was his best friend. Because of this she knew she had to tread carefully with him if she had any hopes of getting through to him.

She started with small talk before jumping in head first.

Sonny lasted a whole 20 minutes before storming out. Just the mention of Clay's name was enough to break him down, but Dr. Taylor talking about Clay like she knew all about him is what sent him over the edge.

Jason immediately stood up as Sonny came barging out of the room. He looked down at his watch, noting Sonny was only in there for 20 minutes.

When Sonny headed straight for the parking lot and didn't say anything, Jason followed suit.

They didn't break the silence until they were both sitting in Jason's truck. Surprisingly, it was Sonny that spoke up first.

"She didn't know him." Sonny sobbed.

"I know Sonny. I know." Jason said as he patted Sonny on the knee. "Why don't we go grab some lunch?"

"I ain't hungry. How 'bout a beer?" Sonny countered.

"I think you've had enough beer and I know for a fact you haven't been eating. How's the burger place sound?" Jason decided it was time to take a new approach with Sonny and start with a little tough love.

Sonny rolled his eyes and turned his head, looking out the window before he reluctantly agreed.

When they sat down at the table, a middle-aged, well put together waitress approached them. "Hey gentleman, can I start you guys something to drink?"

Before Sonny had a chance to speak, Jason answered for the both of them. "Two waters please." He then shot Sonny a 'try to challenge me' glare.

Sonny instantly backed down as the waitress smiled and walked away.

"You need to lay of the alcohol, man." Jason said gently. "You haven't been sober since we got back."

"I'm sober now ain't I?" Sonny bit back in annoyance.

"You know what I mean." Jason began to feel himself growing aggravated so he took a breath to calm himself down before continuing. "Look, Mandy is working round the clock looking for that scumbag. We need to be ready when she does. I'll tell ya right now, if you don't get your head on straight by then, you're not going."

Sonny was about to start arguing with Jason but Jason put a hand up letting Sony know he wasn't done yet.

"I know Clay was your best friend, but you're not the only one who lost him. If you don't find a productive way to cope, they won't clear you to return and we need you back Sonny. We can't lose you too."

Sonny had tears rolling down his cheeks as he nodded his head.

Jason hoped the tough love approach would work. Everyone was struggling, but Sonny was sinking.

Once they finished their food, Jason dropped Sonny off at home and shot Davis a text asking her to keep an eye on him tonight. He knew there was a little something going on between the two but right now he didn't care. He knew Sonny needed her.

A few days pass before their next therapy session. When Jason picks Sonny up, he sees Davis walking to her car. He tells sonny to sit tight and then exits the car, walking towards Davis.

"Hey Davis." He says as he approaches her car.

"He Jace. What's up?" Davis replied.

"You been staying here? How's he been?"

Davis shrugged and offered a small smile. "He's struggling, but he's getting there. Hasn't had a drink in three days."

"Good, that's good. Exactly what I like to hear." Jason taps the top of her car and then takes a step towards his truck before turning back towards Davis. "Listen, I know this kind of thing between you and Sonny isn't normally allowed but uhhh, thanks for being there for him."

Lisa just smiled and nodded before she drove off. What Jason didn't seem to realize was that Sonny was helping her as much as she was helping him.

Jason walked back to his truck where Sonny was watching him like a hawk. As he sat in the driver's seat he looked over at sonny, who had one eyebrow raised waiting for Jason to spill the beans.

"I'm proud of you, man. She said you haven't had a drink in three days."

"Gotta be ready to toe-tag that son of a bitch once Mandy finally finds him." Was all Sonny replied.

They remained quiet the rest of the trip to the therapist's office. Jason just hoped Sonny could make it through the entire session this time.

Thankfully, he did. It wasn't easy, but Sonny managed to not only sit through his entire session, but also participate. Jason was proud of him.

The next few sessions seemed to get easier and easier, not just for Sonny, but for the entire team. The major breakthrough came when they began talking about him again outside of therapy, something they weren't able to do up until this point.

Two months in, as they were coming to an end of their therapy sessions, they were thrown a curveball - Clays apartment.

Someone from the apartment had contacted Jason asking how long it was going to take for them to clear it out as they had people who were interested in it.

Despite all the progress that was being made, no one was ready to cross that bridge. It was something no one even thought of. The complex offered to clear it out for them, but Jason declined.

Clay had things that meant a lot to him at his apartment. Things that didn't deserve to just be thrown into a dumpster, never to be seen again. Jason asked if they could be given two weeks to clear it out and the complex was happy to give it to them.

As they approached his apartment, their hearts dropped. It felt like they were invading sacred territory even though they've been there hundreds of times before. They started separating his things into different piles while they waited for Davis to arrive with boxes.

In the end they each had a pile of some things they each wanted to keep for themselves which included some clothes, pictures, electronics, furniture, weapons and awards. The rest of the stuff ended up in either a donation pile or the trash.

It was a rough two weeks, but in a way it was therapeutic. They would come across things that would spark a memory that made them laugh, smile, cry. The hardest day was the last day when everything was finished and the apartment was empty. Closing that door behind them for the last time felt like they were turning the page to a new chapter which in a way... they were.

/

The first few weeks that Clay was held captive weren't as bad as he had expected them to be. Yes, he was pretty sore for the first few days from his tumble down the stairs and being stabbed in the back of the shoulder when he was captured. It also took some time for him to recover from the heat exhaustion and dehydration, but each day that passed he slowly began to feel like himself again.

After six weeks had gone by, clay began to wonder where all this '_you'll wish we let you bleed out' _mumbo jumbo was. Aside from the daily kicks and punches, minimal food and water and the exhausting, physical labor, things weren't as terrible as he had anticipated.

As the weeks went by, he had also gotten the chance to know Paul better. Turns out they had quite a bit in common. Paul was 28, came from a military family, was also left by his fiancé (except Paul's was left at the altar). Clay was glad he never made it that far). He had joined the French military the day he turned 18, proposed to his high school sweetheart at 21 and was set to get married at 24, before she decided as much as she loved him, she didn't want to be married to his lifestyle.

For the next 4 years, Paul did nothing but dedicate his life to the job. The day he was captured, Paul and his team were chasing a couple of guys who transported bomb equipment and weapons. They had no idea who Khmer was or who these guys were working for. When Paul became separated from his team, he was held at gunpoint by 6 men, forcing him to drop his weapon. They tied his wrists behind his back and forced him into a vehicle. When the rest of his team attempted to rescue him, they were lead into a trap. Khmers men forced Paul to watch as his teammates were blown up right in front of him.

Clays mind immediately went to the explosion that occurred after he was taken. He was 85% sure that there was no way Bravo was inside that building when it exploded, but the fact that he's been held prisoner here for over 6 weeks causes him to have some doubts.

It's during week 9 where things really start going south for Clay. The daily kicks and punches that would occur anytime he defied an order or tried to take a quick break during 'work' began to turn into daily beatings.

One day, after flat out refusing to record a ransom video, Khmers guards show up in the middle of the night, unchain him and drag him to Khmers office.

"You know, I have the power to make life extremely difficult for you. I've been kind so far, allowed you time to heal, ordered the guards to take it easy on you. I didn't have to do that, and trust me, I didn't want to, but if I didn't, I have no doubts that you would be dead by now. I refuse to let you off the hook that easy" Khmer lectured Clay.

Clay, being who he is smirked back "Am I supposed to thank you for that?"

His response struck a nerve in Khmer. He nodded to his guards and within seconds they had him pinned to the ground on his back. Clay tried his best to fight them off, even ended up with a black eye, but since being here he's lost quite a bit of muscle and was weaker than he normally would have been. He was no competition for the six men holding him down.

Khmer stood up from his desk and approached Clay once he was sure he wasn't able to break loose. "This is your last chance to make your days here go smoother. Record the video or I promise life will be a living hell for you."

Clay smiled which pissed Khmer off, but what kissed him off even more was clays response "You got a better chance of getting pregnant."

"Hold him tight!" Khmer ordered as he grabbed a towel and a bucket of water. "You look like you might be a little thirsty. Let me help change that."

As Khmer placed the towel over Clays face, he tried to turn his head sideways, only to be stopped by a set of hands. He felt one guard straddle him by the waist with his knees at Clays sides and leaned forward to hold down Clays shoulders. Another did the same by his knees, so he now had two guys basically sitting on top of him. One of the other guards sat by his head, holding it to prevent him from turning side to side. The rest of the guard held his arms down while one held his feet as a precaution.

When Khmer began pouring the ice-cold water, it instantly took Clays breath away. He attempted to thrash around, hoping to find some sort of weakness in their god on him as he tried to take a breath, each time inhaling nothing but water.

After what felt like a never-ending flow of water, he laid there coughing up water and gasping for air.

"You sure you don't want to make that video? I have plenty more buckets of water where that one came from!"

Clay coughed some more, still trying to regain his breath. This was nothing like the waterboarding they prepared him for during SERE. Sticking to his remarks from training he coughed out "Still... kinda thirsty." Before he knew it, the towel was returned to his face and yet another never ending bucket of ice-cold water was poured.

When this bucket was finished, Clay was spent. He was exhausted from trying to break free and was desperately trying to catch his breath during the nonstop coughing.

Realizing he might have gone too far with this, Khmer ordered the guards off of him. Once Clay felt all of the guards release their tight grips from him, he rolled over to his side and just laid their continuing to couch.

"Get up." Khmer ordered.

Clay didn't move. He couldn't. He was physically exhausted.

When Clay didn't move, one of the guards kicked him. "He said get up!"

Clay instantly folded into fetal position as the guard's door made contact with his stomach, knocking what little breath he had managed to suck in, out of him.

Khmer went off on the guy that kicked Clay. Yelling at him that it was too soon to let Clay die because he hadn't suffered enough yet for killing _their_ brother.

Clay wasn't sure if he was hearing correctly or if his mind was playing tricks on him from a lack of air, but he was pretty sure he heard Khmer say _their brother. Well, that would explain why he hates me more than the rest of the guards _Clay thought.

As Khmer was finishing his lecture to his brother, he instructed two of the guards to get Clay out of his sight. They picked him up by his arms and basically drug him back to the bunkhouse. On the way there, Clay threw up twice all over himself from coughing so hard. A majority of it was just water, but what little he did have in his stomach also came up, causing the guards to laugh at him.

They drug him up the steps and into the bunkhouse, dropping him at his usual spot next to Paul, who was pretending to be asleep during the whole thing. Clay just laid where he was dropped, not moving a muscle. The guards continued to laugh and make fun of him calling him weak, disgusting, embarrassing. Fortunately, they have such a good time making fun of Clay that they forgot to chain him up.

Clay didn't move a muscle until the two guards were gone and even then, he kept his movements to a minimum.

As soon as the guards were gone, Paul sat up and crawled over towards Clay. He didn't have to ask what they did. It was obvious. He was soaking wet, coughing quite a bit, and taking quick shallow breaths. "Damn man, you sure did manage to piss them off."

Clay finally found the strength to roll over and sit himself up against the wall, continuing to cough, but not as bad. When he finally looked up, he realized everyone was staring at him, many of them in fear of how he looked. They have never seen someone waterboarded and some of them had been here much longer than Clay.

It took him a few minutes to pull himself together, but when he did, he noticed they didn't chain him up. That gave him new life.

Paul say the look in Clays eyes as he realized he was chained up and immediately knew what he was thinking. "Oh no. No no no. Come on man. That's a BAD idea. You're in no shape to escape. They'll kill you!"

Clay coughed a few more times before catching his breath enough to speak. "They're going to kill me anyway."

In the time it took Clay to really dig down deep enough to stand up, Paul did his best to try to convince him not to go. "What if it's a trap? What if they're standing right outside that door just waiting for you?"

The thought crossed Clays mind. It really did, but it was a risk he had to take. He couldn't stay here. He pulled himself up, steadied himself on his feet and walked over to a window and inspected it. After declaring it clear of any alarms or traps, he slowly lifted it open. He peaked his head out to see if anyone was out there and didn't see a soul. He looked back at Paul and said "I promise I'll be back with help. Thanks for everything."

In a last-ditch effort to keep Clay from jumping out the window he said "what if your team comes and you're not here?"

The though stopped Clay in his tracks. It was the one variable that surprisingly didn't even cross his mind.

Paul seemed pleased with himself, thinking that he had finally gotten through to Clay.

He looked out the window then back over to Paul. "They'll find me. They always do."

"And what if they kill you?" Paul bit back.

"Then tell 'em I died fighting for life." Clay winked and then looked back out the window. The sun was going to be coming up soon so it was now or never. He scanned the area one last time and with the coast still clear, hoisted himself out of the window.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! Sorry for the delay. This chapter gave me some trouble. I'm still not 100% satisfied with it, but came to the conclusion I probably never will be. Clay is on his own for a majority of it so it was hard to fit in a bunch of dialogue, but I got as much in as possible. Sorry if there's not enough. I also had to take a few creative liberties with some things, but did my best to make it as accurate as possible. Anyway, Bravo had their own chapter, now its time for Clay to have his. Hope you enjoy.**

The drop from the window was both harder and higher than Clay had expected it to be. He felt a deep pain in his right foot as soon as his feet hit the ground and he almost immediately regretting landing on his feet. Despite the intense pain, he didn't have time to think about it, he had to get going before anyone spotted him.

Bringing himself to his feet, he did his best to stay in the shadows. The sun was slowly beginning to rise, showing the faintest amount of light and he had to make sure he was gone before the sun came up and they realized he was gone.

Running as best as he could, which wasn't all that great, the ache in his foot continued to grow. He made it into the cover of jungle without seeing a single guard on patrol which gave him hope. He thought about stopping to inspect his foot, but decided it wasn't the right time for that. He had to put as much distance between himself and this prison village as he could.

Judging by the color of the sky, Clay guesstimated that he would be lucky if he had an hour head start before they noticed he was missing. As he hobbled through the jungle, moving as quickly as he could, he realized he might not have fully thought this through. For starters, he had no idea where he even was. He had no food, no water, was already dehydrated. He was sore all over and pretty sure his foot was broken. The further into the jungle he made it, the sharper the pain in his foot got.

A few hours after he escaped, Clay needed to rest. He could barely put any weight on his foot and fell more times than he would like to admit. The sun was now up with vengeance and despite the cover from the trees, it was unbearably hot. He needed to find shelter or a safe place to lay low so that he could recompose himself. After that he needed to find some sort of water source and possibly a bite to eat. Clay stopped to look around. His vision was starting to become blurry, he was shaky and struggling not to fall again.

Not seeing anywhere safe, he realized his only option was up, all he had to do now was find a tree he could climb and a limb that was sturdy enough to hold him. With none in sight he had no choice but to travel deeper into the jungle until he finally found one.

Stopping in front of the tree, he looked up and took a deep breath, trying to muster up the strength to start climbing. He knew he was really going to have to dig down deep in order to fight through the pain in fatigue that was now hitting full force.

Reaching up, Clay wrapped his hands around a large branch and hoisted himself up. Once he was sitting up, straddling the branch like he was on a horse, he leaned back against the trunk and closed his eyes. _That took way more effort than it should have _he thought to himself. He squinted his eyes shut and took a few more deep breaths before reopening his eyes. He began to second guess his ability to climb, but realizing it was literally his only option at the moment, he pulled himself up.

This time, Clay dug deeper than he had before. There could be no more breaks until he reached his destination. As he pulled himself up, he had to stay in place as a wave of dizziness hit. As soon as it dissipated enough for him to continue, he continued heading up.

Right before he reached his branch, he stepped on a rotted limb with his left foot and almost went down. He growled out as he scraped his left shin from the knee down and placed his broken right foot against another limb to prevent him from going down. The pain in his foot was enough to make him feel nauseous.

Using his last ounce of energy, he finally made it to the large branch where he was going to rest. Once there, he straddled the wide branch once again and within seconds fell asleep, something he didn't anticipate doing, but couldn't fight.

When he finally woke up, it took him a minute to gather his bearings. He wanted to kick himself for falling asleep so quick. He has no idea how long he was out for, but based on the color of the sky it was quite a few hours. A few hours he might not have had.

So many different scenarios started running through his mind that it made the dizziness return. Being this high up in a tree was not the place to be dizzy. Needing to focus on something else, he carefully pulled his feet up one at a time. His left shin was covered in dry blood. _Must have scraped it worse than I thought._ He then looked at his right foot. It was swollen and bruised more than he had expected it to be. There was no doubt in his mind that it was broken.

Looking around, he had a decision to make. He could stay here until the sun set, which would probably be within the next hour or two, and risk the guards gaining even more ground on him, or he could make his way down the tree now while there was still some light and try to put some more distance between himself and the guards. The downside of that is if they did catch up to him while he was sleeping, they would no doubt spot him climbing down the tree.

He decided darkness was going to be his friend. At least if he stayed put for now, he could possibly get a few more hours of much needed sleep and even if they did catch up to him, he would have a better chance of staying hidden in the dark as long as he remained quiet.

With the decision being made, he leaned back against the trunk again and shut his eyes. It didn't take too much time for him to return to the darkness.

_He woke up to a branch cracking somewhere in the distance causing him to immediately go on high alert. He thought about climbing hire where the leaves could hide him better, but was afraid that it would make too much noise. He stayed where he was, staying as still as possible while trying to convince himself it was just an animal. _

_Turns out he was half right. Minutes later he heard what sounded like a dog crying. A cry he's heard a thousand times before. When Cerb appeared out of the darkness, followed by Brock and the rest of Bravo, Clay couldn't believe his eyes. A part of him almost couldn't believe it and he wondered if it was just his mind playing a cruel trick on him. It wasn't until they were right under him that he let himself believe that they really were there. _

"_I knew you guys would come for me." Clay breathed out, just loud enough for them to hear him. _

"_Sorry we took so long. Ran into quite a few obstacles. Couldn't get a green light until we knew for sure what your location was. How you holding up? Hurt anywhere?" Jason asked._

"_Pretty sure my foots broke." Clay replied. He knew more than his foot was hurt, but right now he was still in shock that his team had found him and that's all he could think of. _

"_You climbed that high up a tree with a broken foot, Tarzan?" Sonny was a bit impressed._

"_Didn't have much of a choice…Couldn't keep going…Had to rest somewhere."_

_Trent couldn't help but notice how Clay was beginning to slur his words. That worried him. There was definitely more than just a broken foot going on with him. "Are you able to climb down yourself or do you need one of us to climb up to help?" Trent asked, wanting to send Ray up to assist._

"_I can climb." Clay stated as he began making his way down, still in disbelief. He couldn't wait to hug each one of their necks. _

_A little more than halfway down he lost his grip of a branch which sent him crashing towards the ground, letting out a small scream during the free fall._

It was that same scream that woke him up after a few hours of sleep and left him devastated to find that he was still high up in the tree and that Bravo was nowhere in sight. He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream. He wanted to fight anything that was in arms reach. But he couldn't. He couldn't risk letting another scream escape his lips no matter how badly he wanted to. The only thing he could do to release his pent-up anger and frustrations was to let loose on the tree a few times.

After taking a few swings at the tree and doing some damage to his knuckles on both hands, he managed to pull himself back together. He looked down at his hands, opened and closed them a few times and thankfully determined he didn't break anything, or at least it didn't feel like he did. They were just bloodied and beginning to bruise.

Before making his way down, he looked out into the distance one last time, just in case. "Come on, Bravo. Where the hell are you?" He whispered to himself. Finally accepting the fact that they really weren't out there yet and it was all just a dream, he made his way down the tree.

It hurt like hell, but he finally made it to the bottom. He tried to take a few steps on his broken foot, but now that the adrenaline high was long gone, the pain was unbearable. Thankfully, he was in a jungle full of trees and loose branches. He found the sturdiest branch he could find and turned it into a cane. It didn't solve his problem completely, but it definitely helped enough for him to be able to keep moving forward.

The most important thing he had to do now was find water and he had to do it fast. If he didn't find some soon, especially with the sun and humidity making their way back, he wouldn't make it too much further.

Trying to tap into his memory, he remembered reading a jungle survival book during one of his first missions with Bravo. Of course, Sonny had made fun of it for him. God, the things he would do right now to hear Sonny busting on him. It took a lot of thinking, but he eventually remembered that green bamboo stalks contain water that you can drink. Fortunately, bamboo was all over.

The first bamboo stalk he broke, he only managed to get a few drops from. It was better than nothing, but there had to be a better way to do it. After his fifth or sixth stalk he starting getting better at breaking them and not losing as much water. He continued breaking as many as he could, wanting to drink as much water as possible. After cutting down a few more stalks, the rain gods appeared unleashing one of the hardest rains Clay has ever seen.

It was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it provided much needed water that he didn't have to work for. A curse because now, on top of the already tricky terrain, he now had to deal with the mud.

Clay laid on the jungle floor, with his mouth open until he was satisfied. He wished like hell that he had some sort of container to trap water in that he could drink once the rain stopped. Unfortunately, that wasn't an option.

Once he managed to get himself back up to his feet, he had to get going. Where? He had no idea. All he knew was that he had to just keep going forward. As his trek continued, so did the rain. He slipped multiple times in the mud. Each time he went down, it became harder and harder to get up. Multiple times it had crossed his mind to just stay down, but he couldn't. He wasn't ready to give up yet. He still had some fight left in him. At least he thought he did before he stepped a little too close to the edge of a cliff, where he took an unlucky step and slipped.

This slip, unlike the others, sent him tumbling down the side of the cliff, knocking his body into rocks, trees and bamboo before coming to a hard stop at the bottom.

_There's no way I'm getting up from this one_ he thought to himself. Moments later the darkness consumed him.

When he woke up, he was laying on his stomach, covered in mud and could barely move. The rain had finally slowed down to a light drizzle and the sun had disappeared, letting him know he was unconscious for quite a while.

Attempting to roll over to his back caused him to hiss out in pain, but he finally managed to do it.

_Nope. Still not able to get up. _

Laying there motionless, he went through a wave of emotions. Beginning with an overwhelming sadness, moving on to regret, then anger, disbelief, fear. By the end of the day, as the sun began to set, he finally came to terms with the reality of the situation. He was going to die here, alone. It wasn't exactly how he always pictured the end.

Next, he began wondering how it was going to happen. Was he going to just lay here until the day came where he fell asleep and never woke up? Was some sort of animal lurking around, planning on making him its next meal? Maybe one of the guards looking for him will find him and put a bullet through his head. All he knew, however it was going to happen, it was going to happen sooner rather than later.

Despite accepting that his death was rapidly approaching, he still held out hope. Hope that Bravo would swoop in at the last second for the ultimate rescue.

Thinking about Bravo made that feeling of sadness return. He wondered what they were doing right now. Imagined them giving Mandy hell for not finding him yet, or the brass for not greenlighting the mission for some strange reason. He hoped like hell they were doing ok, that they didn't blame themselves for his disappearance. He was particularly worried about Jason and Ray for the decisions they made that day which resulted in him being in that building alone. Something he definitely didn't blame them for. Whatever it was that they were doing, he knew they were doing whatever it took to find him.

Clay wished more than anything that he could see them one last time. "Please. Please." He whispered to whatever God was listening, hoping he would answer his prayer and get to see his brothers one last time, tell them how much he loved and appreciated them and to apologize. The thought of them finding him like this nearly brought him to tears. It turns out, it was the push he needed.

He rolled back over to his stomach, ignoring the excruciating pain that tore through his body and pushed himself up to his hands and knees. He couldn't give up. Not now.

Somehow, he managed to pull himself up. All he had to do was find a way to forget about the pain and put one foot in front of the other.

_Easier said than done. _He laughed.

Looking around, he no longer knew which direction he was supposed to be going in. He just prayed the direction he was going was correct.

It didn't matter though. He only made it about 100 yards before he collapsed again. The pain, exhaustion, dehydration and starvation were all just too much.

_At least I can say I never gave up. Gave it everything I had. _

All that was left to do now was wait to see what kind of death life had in store for him.

Over the next couple of days, he made a couple more attempts to move, all of which ended with the same results. The weakness in him was growing by the day. He started sleeping more than he was awake. He wondered how much longer it was going to take before he finally fell asleep and didn't wake up.

By the end of the third day, he was ready. He didn't want to feel this pain anymore. The world was playing a cruel joke on him and dragging his death out. "Just get it over with already." He breathed out,

As he laid there, trying to think of ways to help speed up his death, he heard it. AT first he thought he was hearing things, but then he heard it again.

Laughter.

Kids laughter to be exact and it was growing closer and closer.

_How is that even possible?_

By some miracle, within minutes, he was surrounded by a group of six kids and two teenagers. They all looked a bit terrified, but also curious. He watched as one of the teenagers turned to the other and say something, but he didn't recognize the language. Based on the teen nodding then turning around and running, he could only hope that he told him to go get help.

Clay tried his best to sit up, but the young teenager gently pushed him back down. When Clay tried again, the young boy the young boy held both hands up, trying to tell him not to move. Clay didn't understand the words but he did understand the hand gesture. The boy then pointed to himself saying "Vu." Clay assumed that was his name.

About 45 minutes later, the other teenager returned with a group of adults. There were two women and four men. As they approached, Clay tensed, not sure if he wanted to trust them, but then realized he didn't have a choice at the moment.

One of the women knelt down by his head, scooped one hand under his head and held up, offering him a drink. If he could have, he would have chugged the entire thing, but all he could manage was a couple slow sips before he started choking.

The coughing fit caused a lot of pain, making him pretty sure he broke a couple of ribs during his fall. It also brought back flashbacks of the waterboarding which gave him chills.

The other woman knelt down on his other side and they held him up in a sitting position until his coughing was under control and then laid him back down. It didn't take too long, but him having to have two women hold him up because he was too weak to made him feel like a rag doll.

It was at this point that Clay started to let himself believe they were here to help.

The men slowly approached, clearly trying not to spook him anymore than he clearly already was. They were carrying two long bamboo stalks with long leaves weaved in between, connecting them and forming what Clay believed was going to be a stretcher.

They very gently lifted him up and placed him on top of the woven leaves. It was without a doubt one of the most painful things he has experienced.

_Trent would lose his shit if he seen the way they just picked me up without checking me over._

As they lifted him up, his hands flew to the bamboo stalks, unsure if he trusted the leaves enough to support him.

One of the women reappeared and gently pried his fingers off the bamboo, carefully placing them over his stomach. Clay was too tired to try to fight it.

The rough trek to their village took a serious toll on him. The men carrying the stretcher weren't exactly gentle, although he could tell they were trying. By the time they arrived to the village, Clay was passed out, the pain and exhaustion were just too much. He woke some time later to an older woman wiping his face with a wet cloth. She had long gray hair, was covered in wrinkles, missing most, if not all of her teeth and had a kind smile.

He looked at her confused. He had no idea who these people were or why they were helping him, other than that fact that he obviously needed it. He had so many questions and wished he understood the language or they understood any of the six he spoke.

One of the women from the jungle returned and offered him some more water. She held his head up again and only poured a little bit of water into his mouth at a time so that he wouldn't choke again. As she held his head up for him to drink, Clay was bale to see just how banged up he actually was. They had washed all the mud off of him which revealed numerous bruises. Places where he knew he had cuts were wrapped with some sort of leaves. They stung, but almost in a relieving way.

Seeing how much of his body was covered with leaves concerned him. The jungle was no place to have that many open wounds. _Ill be surprised now if I don't get some type of infection,_ he rolled his eyes. The amounts of bruising and swelling also concerned him. _I need a doctor… I need Trent._

Trent always knew how to keep his guys alive until they could get to a hospital. These people though? He had no idea. For all he knew, everything they were doing was just making things worse.

Pulling his head away from the water, he turned to the younger woman and asked "Where am I?" His voice was raspier than he anticipated, but at least he managed to get the words out. "Who are you people?"

It was clear that the young woman had no idea what he was saying. She just nodded and smiled then offered him some more water.

Clay slowly shook his head and laid it back down. _If I don't find a way to communicate with these people, god only knows how long ill be here…if they don't kill first. _Right now was not the time for that. He could figure out communication later, all he could really do now was just rest.

When he woke up again, he felt it immediately. He was hot, he had the chills, his left shin felt like it was on fire. When he tried to sit up to see how bad his shin looked, he was gently pushed back down.

"Xuong. Xuong." The young woman taking care of him kept saying.

Clay was surprised to understand the word. It meant down in Vietnamese. When he tried to respond in the same language though, it was like they didn't understand. _Ok, so they speak minimal Vietnamese, _he concluded.

Before he could attempt to ask simpler, one-word questions, a much younger girl that he hasn't seen yet appeared, handing the young woman a cup. Clay wondered if it was her daughter.

Looking down at the liquid being offered to him, he could tell it was definitely not water. He tried to turn away from it. Even if it was water, he was in no mood to eat or drink anything. He didn't think his stomach could handle it without sending it back up.

The girl insisted though and Clay quickly realized the quickest way to get her to leave him alone so he could go back to sleep was to just drink it. Taking a quick sip, he did his best not to spit it out. It tasted like dirt and was absolutely disgusting.

As gross as it was, the woman wasn't leaving until the liquid was gone. She kept pointing to his infected left leg and then back to the cup until Clay finally figured out a way to finish it. _This shit better be for the infection. _

Once the drink was gone, she allowed him to put his head back down and then pulled out a thick, fur blanket and covered him. Within minutes he was back asleep.

_He woke up surrounded by Bravo. Trent was quickly hooking him up to IV's and checking his vitals, mumbling something undecipherable under his breath._

"_How's he doing?" Sonny asked with worry evident in his voice._

"_He's in bad shape. We need that medevac here ASAP!" Trent replied. Jason was already working on it._

_When Jason returned, he informed them all, "Medevac is 30 minutes out._

"_He might not have that kind of time, Jace." Trent barked. "He's burning up, his breathing is ragged. He's completely out of it. He opened his eyes for a few seconds while you were out talking to HAVOC. It was like no one was home inside."_

"_He's going to be ok Trent, you just gotta Trust that God is going to do the right thing." Ray replied, trying to calm Trent down._

"_I trust science, Ray! And right now, science is telling me he ain't doing so good!" _

"_Do you think he knows we're here?" Brock jumped in, trying to lessen the tension between Ray and their medic. _

_Trent shook his, continuing to work, "I don't know, didn't look like he registered much. It was kind of just a blank stare and then he was out again."_

_Moments later they heard the familiar blades of the medevac whirling around outside. They rolled Clay over to his side to slide the stretcher underneath of him, but before they could pick him up, they heard a loud explosion and the helicopter crashing to the ground._

Clay woke up hissing in pain as they rolled him onto his side. Any suspicions he might have had before about broken ribs were just confirmed. They were definitely broke. He panted through the pain as they rubbed some sort of muddy looking cream on his back.

It took a minute for him to regain his breath after they rolled him back down. His body was still achy, his shin was still on fire and he had no doubt the fever was still lingering around. All he wanted was for the cover to be out back on and to be left alone so he could sleep.

These people had other ideas.

Another cup of the disgusting liquid was returned to his line of sight. _Please don't make me drink anymore of that. _His eyes pleaded to the woman.

When the girl gently slid her hand under his head and lifted it up, Clay tried to turn away. "Please." He breathed out, practically begging.

The girl looked sympathetic. She could tell he didn't want it, but once again, she wasn't leaving until it was gone.

Clay nearly gagged after taking a couple sips. _God this is gross!_

When he finally finished it, the older lady returned and sat down by his legs. She slowly removed the leaves that had been wrapped around his numerous cuts and scrapes. The ones on his left shin hurt the most. It was almost like the leaves fused to his body and become one with his skin.

The pain caused tears to slide down his cheeks. The kind, but evil woman that forces him to drink that disgusting whatever it is gently wiped them away and then ran a hand through his hair, comforting him.

_Why won't these people just let me die in peace. Why do they care so much? _

The kind, old lady finally finished pulling the leaves off his leg. She dipped a rag into a bowl of hot water and then began gently patting his leg. The touch caused his entire leg to tense up from the pain. Once she finished cleaning it, she put that same muddy looking cream on it. He had no idea what it was but whatever it was felt good after the initial sting wore off. Once the cream was applied, she began replacing the leaves and then eventually the blanket before smiling at him and walking out.

Clay was grateful for the blanket being returned. He was freezing even though it was boiling hot outside. He just hoped whatever it was that they're doing to him was going to pay off in the long run. He hoped they knew what they were doing.

As it turns out, they did. Three days later, or at least he thinks it was three days, his fever broke.

He woke feeling better than he has since being captured. Well, kinda. He still had multiple broken bones and strained and pulled muscles that needed to heal, but at least the infection was practically gone.

The young girl, who he guessed was in her early 20's entered the room and smiled when she noticed he was awake. Up until this point she would have to wake him up to give him his medicine. Seeing him already awake and alert as she walked in meant he was improving.

She walked over and sat next to him. Clay immediately directed his eyes to the cup she was holding and hoped she wasn't going to make him drink it. Unfortunately, she did.

Clay gave up fighting it. If whatever was in it was going to make him feel better, he'd drink it. He grabbed the cup as it was handed to him, and for the first time since being here, he through it back as if he were doing a shot of whiskey. The quicker he drank it, the quicker it was over.

As he handed the cup back to the girl, he realized his appetite was starting to come back. She must have noticed it too when they both heard his stomach growl. Standing up, she held up her pointer finger, indicating 'one minute.' She returned a moment later with a basket of fruit, mostly bananas and some other fruit he had never seen before.

Despite not being a huge banana fan, that's what he picked. He tried to sit up to eat it, but his broken ribs and pulled muscles in his back protested. The girl noticed the wince on his face and quickly jumped in to help him sit up.

"Thanks." He said with a smile, even though he knew she didn't understand. He then vaguely remembered her telling him to stay down in Vietnamese. He decided to ask her where he was in that same language, but this time only asking "where?"

It took a minute for her to reply but when she did, she said "Vietnam."

_Well that explains a bunch of things. _Clay thought.

Clay then pointed to himself and said "Clay," then pointed a finger to her. He had to do it a couple of times for the girl to realize she was asking for her name.

"Hahn." She smiled.

_OK. Now we're getting somewhere. Maybe we can find a way to communicate after all._

He wanted to ask more, but after eating 2 bananas he was spent. He carefully laid back down, grateful he was making progress, both physically and commutatively.

Over the next week the progress continued. He felt himself becoming stronger and stronger. Aside from the bones he broke, which he narrowed down to his foot, ribs and wrist, and the pulled muscle in his back, he felt much better. The muscle in his back was healing and only left him with a slight discomfort. The broken bones he knew were going to take some time to heal, but each day they hurt less and less. His appetite was returning and he started eating a little more each day. The more he ate, the more his strength returned. He still had a LONG way to go to get his full strength back but at least it was a start.

His biggest frustration now was the language barrier. He needed to figure out a way to reach the outside world so that he could find a way to let Bravo know where he was. After a few days he came to the conclusion that he was just going to have to wait until he was healed enough to leave and then seek help on his own. _We can't be that far from civilization, right?_ He guessed it would take a few more weeks until he was strong enough to do so.

Another weak went by and he was now able to move around a little better. He was still pretty sore, especially his foot and ribs, but they were healed enough that he could move around and tolerate the pain as long as he didn't over do it.

Communication was also becoming easier. It wasn't to the point where he could ask for help or speak full sentences, but he figured out what certain things were called which made it a lot easier to ask for what he wanted or what he needed.

He was almost to the point where he was going to start thinking about leaving to find help. It had been three days short of a month and he was feeling pretty good. All he had to do was figure out a few things and then he would be all set. Unfortunately, he never got to that point. He was sitting outside with Hahn and her family when out of nowhere, things turned to shit.

**Hope you guys enjoyed it. Its definitely one of the longest chapters I have written so I hope it was ok!**


	7. Chapter 7

When Bravo finally starts training again, things are pretty rocky. It's almost like they're all on different pages. They're not the same Bravo as they were before Clay's death, the Bravo that knew what the other was going to do or say before it was even done.

No one expected them to be the same. Losing a teammate – a brother, will always change things no matter how much they try to remain the same. However, no one expected Bravo to return this discombobulated. They were growing frustrated with each other, having to repeat drills over and over again until they got it right. Drills that normally came so easily to them.

It took almost a month for everyone to start clicking again and once they did it was like nothing had ever happened. They were moving like the pre-Clay Bravo again.

Two weeks later the higher ups decided it was time to throw them back into the sandbox to see how they would handle the pressure. It's been just shy of four months since they lost Clay and the other teams who have been covering for them were beginning to burn out. It was time for them to start going on missions again.

"What do we got?" Jason asked as they all entered the briefing room for the first time in months.

Mandy pulled up a picture of a young girl. Jason guessed she was around Emma's age, maybe a little younger. "This is Eva Cortez, the daughter of Carlos Cortez, the US ambassador in Venezuela. She and a friend were kidnapped after attending a concert together. Her friend was found killed in an alley not too far from the venue." Mandy stated as she began to pull up a video. "This video was sent to the Cortez family a few hours after the friend's body was found. They're demanding a ransom for her safe return."

"No offense, but why are WE being sent in for this. This ain't a something a tier one team usually does. Not unless the stakes are much higher." Sonny questioned.

"The upper brass wanted to break you back in slowly, see how you guys handle a little pressure." Blackburn replied. "The next few missions will probably be simple like this one, gradually becoming more difficult as they see fit."

They all rolled their eyes, wanting to argue that they didn't need 'simple' and could handle the pressure no problem, but they knew better than to argue with Eric. It's not like he's the one that made the call.

As they boarded their plane, it felt different. The last time they were on it there was a flag draped box with some of Clay's things inside it.

Jason looked over to where Clay would typically hang his hammock, then back over to where the box used to be. The void of the hammock and the memory of the box was almost too much for him.

Unbeknownst to everyone, including Davis, Jason had stored Clay's hammock in with his. He walked over and pulled it out, looking around and noticing everyone's somber faces as they realized what he was doing. "It was too empty" was the only explanation he offered as hung Clay's hammock where Clay normally would.

Nobody said a word, they just let him do what he felt he needed to do. They all had their own ways of coping; this was just one of Jason's. In fact, once it was up, the hammock made them all feel better in a way.

When it was time to step off the plane, they all stopped by the hammock, said a silent prayer for him to watch their backs and then proceeded with the mission.

The mission itself was a cake walk for them. It felt natural being back in the saddle.

When the mission was over and they returned to the plane, they all cracked open a beer in front of Clay's hammock and made a toast to him, crediting him for the mission going so smooth.

Over the next few weeks thy went on similar style missions and really started getting their groove back. At the six month mark, they went on their first deployment in a while. It was a five-month deployment to Yemen where they had to track down a human trafficker who they believe is responsible for multiple disappearances.

It wasn't an easy mission. In fact, their deployment ended up being extended six weeks until they were able to find a secure the leader of the human trafficking ring.

A week after finding out their deployment was extended, they started noticing Sonny acting weird.

"What's going on with you man? You've been off the last few days." Ray asked as the two of them worked out alone.

Sonny shrugged. "I don't know. I guess just the anniversary coming up got me thinking again. It's hitting harder than I expected it to. We ain't even gonna be back in time to visit his empty grave. I know it's part of the job, but I can't help but feel like we failed him. He deserved better than that."

Ray wanted to kick himself for not realizing the anniversary was coming up. It's not that he forgot, he thought about Clay every day, its that they have been so busy with this deployment that he lost track of time.

Before Ray had a chance to reply, Trent entered their makeshift gym and informed them they found something and were gearing up to head out. The intel ended up being a dead end.

As the weeks went on, they finally managed to track the human trafficker down and put an end to his operation. As a reward, they were all given a pat on the back and four weeks of no spin ups. Of course, they would still have drills and workout to complete around the base that needed to be done, but it was nice to know they would remain stateside to spend some time with their families after being gone for so long.

After a week and a half of being home, Sonny and Brock were on base working out when both of their phones started going off informing them that they were about to be spun up.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Sonny snapped. "What happened to four weeks! It hasn't even been two! This better be fucking good!"

Brock just stared at Sonny and tried not to laugh as he listened to him bitch and complain the entire way to the briefing room. He was equally annoyed as Sonny about the spin up, but nowhere near as worked up.

**One Hour Earlier**

Mandy was sitting in her office on base when she heard a knock at the door. She looked up slightly confused because she wasn't expecting anyone. In fact, no one was supposed to even know she was in today.

"Come in." She said from her desk.

A young analyst in the CIA who she had only seen in passing maybe once or twice walked in with a laptop in his hands.

"Can I help you?" She asked, slightly annoyed.

"Are you Agent Mandy Ellis?" He asked.

"Depends on who's asking. What's your name?"

"My names Adam Carbone. I work downstairs. I came across a video and was told you might be interested in it." He said nervously. He didn't know why Mandy intimidated him so much. Maybe because she was always so intense.

"Give it to someone else. I don't really have time right now." She replied.

Taking a deep breath and gathering all his courage he replied, "with all due respect ma'am, trust me, you're going to want to see this."

Adam was now starting to get more of Mandy's attention. "Pull up a chair." She said.

He pulled a chair up next to her and then proceeded to hit play on his laptop.

For the first 45 seconds she just sat there, wondering what about this video was so important or why it couldn't have been given to someone else.

"What's so special about this video that it couldn't be given to someone else.

"Just keep watching." Adam replied without taking his eyes off the screen.

Mandy rolled her eyes and returned her gaze to the screen. After watching for a few more seconds, she straightens up, eyes growing wide, jaw dropped. Her heart sinks to her stomach as she fights back both the tears and the nausea. "Where did you get this?"

"A group of marines sent it. My boss told me to bring it to you immediately. Wasn't sure if you were in but told me to try anyways." Adam answered.

"I need a copy of this on my desk in five minutes." She replied as she ran out of her office. The wave of nausea hitting her so hard she barely made it to the bathroom. Once her stomach was completely empty, she stood up, wiped her mouth and the tears and then took a few deep breaths to regain her composure.

When she returned to her office, there was a USB of the video on her desk. She picked it up and held it tight. She then reached for her phone with her other hand and began dialing.

"Agent Ellis, what can I do for you?" Blackburn answered.

"Get Bravo to the briefing room as soon as possible. Alpha and Delta too. I'm on my way there now." Mandy hung up the phone before Eric had the opportunity to get details. She grabbed her things and ran to the building next door where she found both Blackburn and Davis waiting in the briefing room.

Eric knew by the tone of her voice over the phone and by her body language now how urgent whatever this is about, was.

"Did you do what I asked?" Was the first thing Mandy asked as she entered the room.

Blackburn nodded and then asked what all of this was about. She briefly filled Eric and Lisa in, saving the main details for when everyone had arrived.

The three teams began to fill the room within ten minutes. They were clearly confused by the fact that whatever this was required three teams. That almost never happens unless it's something extremely major.

As Bravo entered, it was clear as day that they were all annoyed that their break was cut short. They expected the annoyance. What they didn't expect was the annoyance to disappear so quick when they noticed the other two teams. Its also clear that somethings up by both the tones and body language of Mandy, Eric and Lisa.

It takes a lot to get just one of them slightly rattled, let alone all three of them. Whatever this is, it's big.

As soon as everyone from all three teams are present, the door is shut and the briefing begins.

**Hey guys! Sorry for the wait. Tried to get this posted sooner but was just too busy. Also tried to make it another longer one, but still haven't had a chance to write Clay's portion and I really wanted to get something posted. Anyway, glad you all seem to enjoy the story so far and bearing with me with all these mean cliffhangers. I just wanted to say thanks to everyone that takes the time to leave a review. They're what keep me motivated to continue writing. I hope this chapter was decent enough for you guys and I promise the next chapter SHOULD have the reactions to finding out Clay is alive… Unless I get carried away with the Clay whump and it becomes too long. In that case it'll probably be a strictly Clay chapter and the chapter after that will have the reactions. We'll just have to see how it plays out!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the delay guys! This chapter was A LOT harder to write than I anticipated it being. With that being said, I'm still not entirely happy with how it turned out. Also, same as some of the other chapters.. I took some creative liberties again cause I'm not a doctor and research can only help so much. **

Clay was sitting outside with Hahn and her family helping them husk some corn. It felt good to finally be able to start doing things again, rather just laying around, even if it was only husking corn. Things were finally starting to look up for him when things turned to shit.

They heard it before they seen it. A loud commotion on the other side of the village. Before it could get any closer, Hahn's husband ushered them all inside.

Clay being Clay, didn't want to be separated from the conflict. These people have bent over backwards for him and despite still not being 100%, the least he could do was help defend them.

Hahn and her family tried almost everything to keep Clay inside, but he wasn't having it. He pushed through the door and started walking with a slight limp towards the commotion.

When he saw it, he stopped dead in his tracks, eyes wide as if he had just seen a ghost.

_No, no, no. This can't be happening!_

Infront of him stood eleven armed men he recognized from the prison camp. One of them, Khmers brother to be exact, was holding a young boy in front of him with a gun pointed to his head.

For the first time in his life, Clay was frozen with fear. He couldn't go back there. Going back would be a death sentence. At the same time, he couldn't let them kill that little boy.

Mentally, he made the decision to keep moving forward. Physically, he couldn't bring himself to move his feet. That is until they spotted him.

Khmer's brother looked up at just the right moment to see Clay. They locked eyes before the younger Khmer threw the boy to the ground and began running towards Clay with the remaining ten guards behind him.

Clay instantly turned around and started running towards the trees. He was so far out of shape though that it didn't take too long for him to be tackled to the ground and pinned down. He tried his best to break free, kicking, thrashing around yelling, but they had him pinned good. He prayed they would get tired of him trying to break loose and someone would just shoot him and end it all now but he wasn't that lucky.

They quickly managed to tie his hands behind his back and pull him up to his feet. He puts up as much of a fight as he can as they basically parade him through the village where he sees the horrified expressions of everyone he came to know. When he locked eyes with Hahn and her family he had to turn away. He couldn't watch their expressions. They had done more for him than he would ever be able to repay them for.

They shoved him into a vehicle at the opposite end of the village and headed to what Clay considered hell on earth. The ride took about an hour which sort of surprised Clay. He didn't think he traveled quite that far, especially with how slow he was moving.

As they arrived back at camp, Clay was yanked out of the vehicle by his hair. Looking around, it seemed like the entire prison camp was there. He searched the crowd, looking for Paul, and when they locked eyes, Clay could see the sadness in Paul's eyes. Sadness for what he knew was about to happen to his friend.

Khmer appeared next, walking towards him with that stupid grin that Clay hates. He stopped once he was inches from Clay's face and grabbed him by the chin.

Clay did his best to break free from his hold, but the other guards held him in place making it impossible.

"Did you have a nice little vacation?" Khmer sneered.

Clay stared back, refusing to reply.

"I asked you a question… I expect an answer!" Khmer yelled as he slapped Clay across the face.

Clay ignored the stinging sensation he felt across the left side of his face and continued glaring at Khmer. He didn't care what was going to happen to him at this point, he wasn't going to give Khmer anything he wanted.

Losing his patience, Khmer order the guards to take Clay to the post.

Clay had no idea what that meant, but he was confident that whatever it was, wasn't going to be something he enjoyed.

As the guards led him, he noticed a post that appeared to be cemented in the ground. They stopped him right in front of it and as they came to a stop, he heard Khmer's irritating voice once again. "Get on your knees." Khmer instructed.

Clay laughed. _Does this guy really think I'm going to do anything he tells me to do?_

Khmer was losing his temper. He has had Clay prisoner for over three months, not including the month he had managed to escape, and he was growing tired of his attitude. When Clay laughed at his order and refused to kneel, Khmer lost his temper, balled his fist and this time punched Clay hard, knocking him off balance. Before Clay had a chance to regain his balance, one of the guards pushed him from behind, landing him on his knees.

Clay tried his best to get off his knees but there were too many guards holding him down. He heard the crowd of prisoners around him almost begging him to stop fighting. He almost listened when he heard Paul's voice, but then Khmer stepped into his line of vision which only made him fight harder.

As the guards untied his wrists from behind his back, Clay thought that was his chance to break free, but the guards were too quick to shackle his wrists to the post. At that point Clay knew this fight was over. His main goal now was to show as little of a reaction as possible to whatever was about to happen.

His fear spiked when they blindfolded him. He didn't like the idea of not knowing what was about to go down. He refused to show it though. Instead he kneeled perfectly still, refusing to fight the blindfold. Once the blindfold was in place, he felt on of the guards cutting his shirt off of him until he only had his pants on.

After a few suspenseful minutes of silence, Clay learned his punishment as he heard a loud smacking sound to the left of him. The sound forced his body to tense as fear and dread crept in. He now knew what was coming.

Clay wanted to cry, scream, fight, anything he could to avoid his fast approaching fate. But he didn't. He remained still. There was no escaping the shackles, and even if he did, he had nowhere to go. The guards and the other prisoners had him surrounded.

It took another couple of minutes of suspense before he heard the loud smacking noise cutting through the air again, except this time he felt the whip slice across his back. As much as he tried, he couldn't hold the scream in. It hurt way worse than he had expected it to.

He didn't have too much time to think about the pain before the next lash came. This time though, he managed to stifle the scream to a loud growl.

The tears started involuntarily flowing after the third lash. The screams of pain returning after the fourth. He panted through the pain as the fifth and sixth lash were added.

His silent prayers for them to stop were answered after the sixth slice. Someone had lifted his head up by his hair, and he heard Khmer's voice next to him. "One lash for each week you were gone, plus two for the two guards I had to kill for not chaining you up. Do it again and I won't hesitate to whip you until you bleed out."

Clay didn't respond. He couldn't. The pain was too extreme. His back felt like it was on fire, he could feel the blood oozing down his back, and he was panting heavier and heavier for each breath.

He was left shackled to the post, still on his knees with his arms shackled over his head. He rested his forehead on the post and tried to focus solely on his breath. _Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. _The more he focused on his breathing, the less he tried to focus on the pain.

There were multiple times where he caught his mind wondering. _What was Bravo up to? Were they close to finding him? What would his dad think of him? That he's weak? A terrible Seal? What kind of Seal goes and gets himself captured? _He thought about Stella and although there were still times where he missed her, he was glad they had ended things. He could only imagine how bad she would have taken this whole situation. Never in a million years did he think he would be glad their relationship had ended. Today he was.

The longer he was left shackled at the post, the darker his thoughts got. _What if Bravo never finds? What if they really were killed in that explosion? Would they send another team to find him? Alpha was there, they would definitely come looking for me. No, no, no. Bravo is alive. They have to be. How much longer until they find me? Are they definitely looking for me?_

_A gentle hand on his shoulder instantly caused him tense up and pulled him out of his thoughts. _

"_It's alright man. We're gonna get you out of here." Clay relaxed as he heard Trent's voice. They are here. They finally found me. _

_Clay wanted to cry, but held it together. Trent removed the blindfold and locked eyes with Clay._

"_We're here brother. We got you." Trent said as he began unshackling his wrists. As he slowly lowered his arms to his sides, Clay cried out in pain. His arms were so stiff and numb after being raised above his head for so long and on top of that, the slight movement caused the giant gashes on his back to pull causing unbearable pain. _

_Trent went to move Clay when Clay stopped him. "Stop. Please." Clay almost begged._

"_I'm sorry Clay, but we can't stop. We gotta get out of here. I'll give you something for the pain and then we need to get moving. Okay?" Trent hoped he would accept. He hated causing the kid pain. When Clay nodded in agreement, Trent pulled out the morphine shot and jabbed it into Clay's thigh, knowing it wouldn't take Clay long to pass out._

When Clay woke up, he was in a room that looked like a cabin. He could see through the window that it was dark out, although the sun was beginning to rise. He laid still a little longer, knowing any sort of movement would sky rocket the pain. He was also afraid Trent would yell at him if he moved. The longer he laid there, the more he started wondering where Trent was. _He would never just leave me. _Clay thought.

His question was answered not too much later when he finally tried to move. His right arm was stopped short by a pull and when he looked down, he noticed he was chained up again. He realized he was still in hell, Trent was never here and he hasn't been rescued. He might never be rescued.

Realizing there was a chance that he might never be rescued was when he reaching his breaking point. He tried thinking positive, but that was really hard to do right now. _If they were coming, they would have been here by now. _Tears started streaming down his face as he imagined spending the rest of his life in this hell hole. If that were the case, he was pretty sure his life just became drastically shorter.

No doubt, they were gonna kill him. That he was sure of. It was going to be a long, drawn out death. Days, months, years of nothing but torture until he was gone. He just hoped it wouldn't be years.

The thought of being stuck here for years scared the shit out of him. If it were up to him, he would end it as soon as possible. He'd rather die on his own terms rather than when Khmer decided he had suffered enough for killing his brother. All he had to do was figure out how to do it.

Contemplating his suicide on top of the throbbing, fiery pain he felt caused him to drift off despite trying to fight it.

"_Erasing my footsteps, huh?" Ash laughed as he crouched down next to Clay._

_Clay opened his eyes to see his fathers satisfied smirk. "What do you want Ash?" He whispered, not in the mood for dealing with his father. _

"_Just came to see how my son was doing with erasing my footsteps. Looks like you're doing a great job." Ash replied sarcastically. "How long you been here anyway? Almost 5 months?"_

_Clay rolled his eyes and turned away, refusing to give Ash what he wanted._

"_Five months of hell. Imagine how much worse it's gonna get. Might as well just end it now. Why delay the inevitable?" Ash said as he held up an impressive looking knife. _

Clay shot up to a sitting position as Ash was driving the knife towards his chest. The quick movement caused him to scream in pain. He was panting heavily and covered in sweat.

He looked around for a split second, looking for Ash before he realized it was only a dream.

Taking a couple more deep breaths, a sense of relief came over him. It was at that point he realized he didn't want to die. He couldn't give Ash the luxury of being the better Seal. No. He was gonna fight to live as long as he could. Until the next opportunity to escape presented itself.

The longer he sat up, the more intense the pain in his back became. He slowly laid himself back down on his stomach, deciding he needed to save his strength for when Khmer or the guards returned.

As he laid there, motionless, he started running through all of the reasons he had to live, in his mind.

After what felt like hours, he finally fell asleep again.

When he woke up there was a plate with two pieces of bread and a cup of water in front of him. The thought of food right now made him feel sick, but he knew he had to eat while he could. Who knows when the next plate would come? Besides, it was only two pieces of bread.

Not long after finishing the bread, he fell asleep again. He wasn't sure if it was the boredom or the pain that cause him to be so tired, but he ultimately decided it was a combination of the two.

The next time he woke up, he wasn't alone. There was a middle-aged woman that he hasn't seen before sitting near a corner. As soon as she realized he was awake, she stood up and slowly made her way over towards Clay carrying what looked like a bowl. "I'm not here to hurt you." She said with a heavy accent.

Clay stared at the woman cautiously, not sure if he believed her.

"I told him not to do this, but he never listens to me." She knelt down next to Clay, placing the bowl on the floor next to her. She then proceeded to grab a rag out of the bowl and ring it out.

Clay tensed, aware of what she was about to do, not sure if he was ready for it.

She very gently began cleaning his back as she continued talking to him. "He can be a bit of a hot head sometimes and a lot of people consider him to be this terrible person, but they're wrong. He does what he does for the greater good. All those people that die, they're terrible people, guilty of all sorts of crimes. He would never hurt anyone innocent."

Clay wanted to laugh at that last part. _Never hurt anyone innocent? What a joke._ He started wondering if this lady really believed what she was saying. Maybe he had brainwashed her? Maybe she's just really gullible? He had no idea. All he knew right now was that he wished she would just shut up and stop touching him. The pain was becoming too much and he really didn't want to cry in front of her.

Almost as if she had heard his thoughts, she dropped the bloody rag back into the bowl. "That should help it feel better." She explained as she began covering his back with some sort of dressings.

As she stood up and began walking away. Clay broke his silence. "Why?"

The woman stopped and faced Clay. "We don't want you developing an infection. My husband says he needs you alive longer." She smiled and then walked out the door.

Clay didn't know if he should be scared or thankful, but whatever she put on his back did make it feel better. It still hurt like a bitch but at least it took a bit of the sting away.

For the next 5 weeks, twice a day, the woman would return to clean Clay's back. He was now at the point where he could sit up for her to do it.

As soon as he started asking her questions and trying to explain what kind of monster her husband is, she went silent. In fact, she hasn't said a word to him in a week and a half. She just comes in, does what she needs to do and then leaves.

On the 39th day, she deems him healthy enough to return to the bunk house. A couple of guards led him back to his original bunk in the bunkhouse and left him there. It was still early afternoon so he was the only one there, while everyone else was being forced to work.

The other prisoners returned a few hours later. Paul smiled as soon as he seen Clay. "I thought for sure you were dead."

"I probably should be." Clay shrugged as he got a closer look of his friend. As he looked at Paul, he noticed a few scars that weren't there before. "How did you get those?"

Paul went quiet and tried to hide them. "They're nothing to worry about." He mumbled, clearly trying to hide something.

"What do you mean they're nothing? They're clearly something." Clay continued to push.

Realizing Clay wasn't going to drop the subject, Paul sighed and admitted "When you escaped…they uhhh… they punished me for not making you stay. It was nothing though. Didn't even really hurt that bad." He lied, not wanting Clay to blame himself.

Clay closed his eyes in disgust. _How could I not have thought how leaving would affect anyone else? _"I'm sorry. I never even."

"It's fine." Paul cut him off. "I never once blamed you for it. I just hoped you found somewhere safe. And to be honest, if it would have been me, I probably would have done the same thing. These guys HATE you, that was obvious from day one. You did what you had to do."

Clay decided to drop the subject. No matter what Paul said, he was going to blame himself.

"How's your back?" Paul asked, wanting to pull Clay out of his head.

"It's getting there, Still hurts like a bitch from time to time though." Clay admitted.

"Can I see it?" Paul asked nervously, not sure if Clay would be willing to show him.

Clay hesitated a moment before shaking his head, turning his back to Paul and lifting his shirt.

Paul winced at the six very long gashes on Clay's back. They looked painful and he knew in order for them to still look they way they did that they had to be pretty deep. He could only imagine how painful it was in the beginning. "Those are gonna leave some gnarly looking scars, man."

Clay shook his head. He knew that. He wasn't too excited about having a permanent reminder but he had come to terms with it.

As the next few weeks went by, Clay tried his best to fly under the radar, doing whatever he could to not draw attention to himself. There were still daily beatings, but that wasn't unusual. All the prisoners were beat daily.

Around the eight-month mark, Clay's luck ran out. It was around one in the morning when the door to the bunkhouse flew open. The guards marched straight over to Clay, forced him up, unchained him and then carried him out without saying a word to him.

When Clay was brought to Khmers office, his heart dropped. He knew whatever was about to happen wasn't going to be fun. They brought him inside where Khmer was sitting at his desk. He hadn't seen the guy in weeks, maybe longer. "Welcome back." Clay said smugly. "Kill any more people while you were gone?"

Khmer chuckled. He was growing tired of Clays cocky attitude, couldn't figure out why he hasn't broken yet. "As a matter of fact. I did. A lot more than I anticipated." Khmer smiled at Clays almost unnoticeable wince at his revelation.

"You're disgusting." Clay practically whispered.

"You know, I was fully planning on allowing this to be a fair fight, but now I'm not so sure." Khmer rolled his eyes. As he stood up from his desk and walked towards the door, he turned to his guards. "Sit him down in the corner. Don't let him sleep. I want him tired come morning."

The guards did as instructed once Khmer was gone. They scattered themselves throughout the room, taking shifts watching Clay and keeping him awake.

Clay was caught multiple times falling asleep. Each time they caught him he grew more and more frustrated. He just wanted to sleep.

As the night continued and his exhaustion grew, it began getting harder to keep him up. Verbal yells and screams were no longer enough to keep him awake. They began having to get physical with him, kicking him pretty hard multiple times until he couldn't take anymore. He stayed awake the remaining time, almost afraid of being kicked again if he fell asleep.

Khmer returned in the morning and Clay was almost relieved to see him because that meant he was that much closer to being able to sleep. On the contrary, he wasn't looking forward to what was about to come.

"It's time." Khmer said as him men grabbed Clay and brought him outside.

Clay looked around, completely exhausted and noticed the other prisoners being brought outside and circled around him. He searched the crowd for Paul and when he found him, they locked eyes.

Out of nowhere, a guy that was roughly his height, but built solid entered the circle. He looked pissed off at the world and easily had a good 50-pound advantage over Clay.

Even with all his training, Clay knew he didn't have a chance of beating this guy. He was exhausted, in pain from the multiple kicks that kept him awake overnight and lost a good amount of weight and muscle mass.

As the guy approached Clay, he stood his ground. They came face to face and the guy waited for Clay to make the first move. When Clay did move, he decided to get the ball rolling.

The man hit Clay in the face so hard that Clay bit his tongue and stumbled backwards. He brought a hand up to his face, trying to wipe away the sting and spitting blood out of his mouth. Regaining his balance, Clay looked at the man and asked "That all you got?"

As the next swing came, Clay threw his arms up to block it only for the guy to ball his left fist and make contact with Clays already sore right side.

Clay growled out in pain on contact. He realized if he was going to het out of this alive, he was going to have to stop playing defense and start playing offense. He tapped into some of his SERE training, pulling out a couple impressive moves that seemed to only anger the guy even more.

He gassed out quickly, allowing the guy to deliver blow after blow. One particularly hard blow manages to send ripples of pain across Clays chest, causing him to go down.

He tried like hell to convince himself to get back up, but the fact of the matter was he was just too tired and in too much pain to do so. He laid there panting, waiting for the guy to just finish him off, but before he could do so, Khmer put an end to things.

He looked up as Khmer knelt down next to him smiling. "Do you wish you were dead yet?"

Clay did, but he would never admit that. He had no idea how much more of this he could take. All he knew was that he was gonna fight till the very end, however much longer that might be. As a result, his response to Khmer was a bloody smile as he spit blood on the ground by his feet.

Khmer stormed off in anger, trying to figure out what it would take to finally make Clay break. The only things he could come up with at the moment would surely end up with Clay dying and he wasn't ready to let that happen yet. If it were up to him, he would torture Clay for years before killing him.

Clay was surprised when the guards returned him to the bunkhouse, but was too out of it to really care. They chained him to his bed and the one guard that hates him with a passion, Khmer's other brother, took advantage of the situation adding a few more blows, knocking Clay out.

_When he woke up, there was no pain. He looked around, noticing the while tiled ceiling and walls. As he looked around more, he noticed his team sitting around him._

_Brock was the first one to notice him awake. "Hey, look who decided to grace us with his presence." He smiled. The rest of the team looked up and walked then surrounded Clays bed. _

"_About time you woke up. You've been sleeping for days. How you feeling?" Jason asked._

"_Morphine?" Clay asked._

"_Actually, dilaudid." Trent replied. "It's the best stuff they can give you right now." _

_Clay nodded slowly before drifting off once again. _

_He woke again an unknown amount of time later, realizing he was still in the hospital. This time though, when he looked around, the only person in the room was Lisa. _

_She quickly approached him as soon as she noticed his right arm moving slowly towards his tray table and grabbed the cup of water that was on it. "Slow slips, ok?" She instructed him as she helped prop his head enough for him to drink. _

_After a few slow slips, Clay turned his head away, letting her know he was done. "Team?" He asked quietly, wanting to know if they were ok. He remembered seeing them in his room earlier but he couldn't remember if it was real or just a dream. He had so many dreams about being rescued that he had a hard time remembering what was a dream and what was real._

"_They're all good. Blackburn instructed them all to head home to rest a few hours ago. He's here too, just ran downstairs to grab some coffee and a bite to eat." She replied. _

_Clay didn't respond, just nodded his head again._

"_Are you in any pain? Do you need me to get the nurse for you?" Lisa asked. She knew Clay had a long road to recovery, but she wanted to do whatever she could to make sure it was as smooth as possible. _

_Clay wanted to shake his head no. He was already floating with whatever they had him on. Taking anything else would just add to it or knock him out. But the pain was too intense to ignore so he reluctantly nodded his head._

_Before Lisa could leave the room to find a nurse, one walked in, surprised to see Clay awake. _

"_I was just coming to find you." Lisa smiled. "I think he needs more pain meds. He's in a lot of pain."_

_The nurse looked through his charts, wanting to make sure it was safe to give him more meds, and smiled when she realized it was. "I'll get some right away." She said sweetly._

_Lisa smiled and thanked her while Clay rolled his eyes. He was both relieved and annoyed as the next dose was administered and before long, he drifted off again. _

Clay was brought out of his sleep by a light tapping on his shoulder. He reluctantly opened his eyes to Paul sitting beside him. The pit in his stomach grew as he realized his rescue was all a dream once again.

"Thank God. You had me worried there for a while." Paul sighed with relief seeing his friend awake.

Clay went to reply before a sharp pain in his jaw stopped him. Instead he forced a smile, wanting nothing more than to go back to sleep.

"I brought you a bowl of soup. You really need to eat it." Paul said.

Clay ignored him, turning his head and shutting his eyes. "Come on Clay. You've been out of it for three days. You really need to eat something. Please." Paul was now almost pleading.

Clay still didn't answer. The last thing on his mind right now was eating. He hurt all over, was pretty confident he had a broken jaw and already felt like he wanted to be sick. Eating would just make it all worse.

"Look man. They said the lady that kept you alive last time refuses to do it this time so now the jobs mine." Paul paused. He hated doing this, but he didn't have too much of an option. "If you don't eat… they're gonna punish me. Please."

Clay looked back over to Paul and slowly nodded his head. The last thing he wanted was for them to start treating Paul the way they treated him. He wouldn't wish that on anyone.

As much as he tried to hold it in, he cried out in pain as Paul helped him sit up, no longer able to hold back the tears.

Paul gave him a few minutes to regain his composure. He knew just that little bit of movement had to have been super painful for Clay. After Clay managed to get his pain back under control, he looked over at Paul who was holding the bowl of soup.

It took a while, but Clay finally finished the bowl of soup that was mostly just broth, something he was grateful for.

The next week consisted of almost nothing but Paul forcing him to eat.

Three weeks later, despite not being anywhere near healed, they forced him to start working again.

The pain was intense but day by day, week by week he powered through.

Over the next couple months, Clay had various interactions with Khmer that only made his hatred for the man grow. He couldn't wait for the day he was rescued and someone finally killed him.

It wasn't until the one-year anniversary that Clay learned how long he had been there. He knew he had been there for a while but had no idea it had been that long.

Khmer himself marched up to Clay as he was eating breakfast and forced him to the other side of the village at gun point. Clay could tell he was extra pissed at him for something, but had no idea what.

As they approached the far side of the village, he noticed the guards standing by the post. _Oh no. no, no, no. _Clay thought. Before they made it the post, the guards started walking towards them which slightly relieved Clay.

Once the guards met up with Khmer and Clay, Khmer instructed Clay to hold his arms out in front of him.

_I have three options. _Clay thought. _Do what he says, try to disarm the gun from him, ignore him. _All three choices had consequences, but he ultimately decided to ignore him until Khmer put the gun to his head and cocked it.

At that point, Clay reluctantly held his arms out and winced as his wrists were tied tightly together.

Once they were tied together, he was instructed to walk towards the post.

He didn't move, afraid of what was to come.

Losing his temper, Khmer pulled the trigger, causing Clay to drop to the ground.

After a second, he looked up, realizing he wasn't shot.

"That was just a warning. The next one won't miss." Khmer warned.

Bringing himself to his feet, Clay was brought to walk by the post, holding in a sigh of relief and was surprised when he was walked a few steps into the jungle to where someone had dug out what looked like a prison cell in the ground.

It was approximately 4x4 and about a few feet deep.

He let out a small grunt as he was thrown into the hole and looked up as the placed bars over the top so that he couldn't get out.

Khmer approached and questioned Clay. "Do you know what today is?"

Clay shook his head. He had no idea.

"Today is the day you killed my brother."

Clay's face instantly went pale for multiple reasons. _That means two things. I've been here a whole year and he's gonna be extra angry today. _He tried to prepare himself for whatever evil ideas Khmer came up with to make him pay and was surprised when he just walked away.

_Ok, so they're just gonna leave me here? _

Over the next three and a half weeks, the only person he seen was Paul, who was told to bring him his meals and nothing more. There was always a guard present that Clay couldn't see making sure Paul didn't try to give Clay anything extra.

At the end of the three and a half weeks, Khmer and the guards returned.

Clay allowed himself to be pulled out of the hole and led over to the post. His wrists were attached to a chain that was connected to the top of the post and his arms were hoisted above his head, forcing him to stand on his tip toes.

As night rolled around, his shoulders were starting to throb and his fingers were beginning to feel numb. He was exhausted, but every time he started to drift off, he would put more weight on his wrists and shoulders which was extremely painful.

When morning came around, he got maybe a few hours of sleep. Was pretty sure he tore some of the muscles and tendons in both shoulders and if he didn't lower his arms soon, they were going to dislocate.

The day went on and it was almost like he wasn't even there. Not one person acknowledged him.

That all changed around evening when Khmer and his guards approached.

"I left you down there so long because I couldn't look at you without wanting to kill you… which I'm not quite ready for yet, although at this point if it happens it happens." Khmer shrugged.

Clay would have laughed too if he wasn't in so much pain. _Yeah, at this point I probably wouldn't mind. _

Before Clay could say a word, one of the guards handed Khmer the whip.

In a last-ditch effort to not feel that kind of pain again, Clay begged "Please. Please don't. I'm sorry." Clay cried out.

Khmer couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was this man actually begging him for something. Did he finally break him? "You're sorry? What are you sorry for?"

Clay sighed. "For killing your brother, for being so stubborn, for not listening. Please just let me down."

"If I let you down, how do I know you mean what you say?"

"You just have to trust me. Please." Clay pleaded. He swore he would never stoop this low, but with the amount of pain he was in right now, he didn't have a choice. Any pain added by the whip would only send him over the edge.

Khmer looked at Clay, nodded and said "If you so much as even think about crossing me, I will make this last week seem like a cake walk." He then threw the whip down and walked away.

Khmer made it a few feet before he heard the loud scream of pain. As he looked back, he seen his brother winding up, ready to whip Clay again. Khmer ordered him to stop as the second strike hit Clay.

"He deserves it Chann. He killed Le." The brother cried out as he prepared to strike Clay for a third time.

Chann ran over to stop his brother, but didn't get there until after the third strike. After the third strike, Chann was able to wrestle the whip away and ordered half the guards to take his brother away from Clay, and the other half to help Clay down.

Clay was full on sobbing at this point. As soon as his arms were released, he crumbled to the ground. He may have only received half the lashes this time, but the pain from being hung there combined with the pain from the whip was more than double the pain he felt before.

"Get him to the bunkhouse. Make sure Paul is there to help. I'll try to convince my wife to help. I finally managed to break him. I can't lose him now." Khmer ordered.

Clay cried out even more as the men lifted him up. He passed out from the pain before he even made it to the bunkhouse.

/

A marine unit based in Vietnam was sent to investigate reports of a reported prisoner camp deep in the woods. They were under strict order to make no contact. It was simply a recon mission until they had more information.

They made their way throughout the mountains, stopping at the top of one once they had visual on the camp.

Tyler, the marine in charge, looked through a set of binoculars and confirmed that there was in fact a prison camp. As he looked around more, he noticed a man tied up and being whipped.

He looked to Rich, the guy with the camera and said "Please tell me you got that?"

The guy on the camera nodded and they continued watching.

Tyler couldn't watch anymore. "TOC. Requesting permission to move in."

"Negative, Battalion 1. Not until we know what were dealing with."

Tyler rolled his eyes in frustration. "Send that over immediately." He instructed Rich.

A few hours went by and Tyler's boss radioed back in. "Battalion 1. We have ID on the video. You are not to make contact under any circumstances. The video has been sent to the CIA. One of the men in the video is one of the most wanted men in the world. A team of SEAL's stateside are being sent over. You are to keep watch until they arrive tomorrow afternoon. Keep track of anyone coming or going. And I repeat one last time DO NOT MAKE CONTACT!"

**Whew! That was a tough one. Sorry if you didn't like it. It was really hard fitting almost a years' worth of whump into one chapter. And like I said in the beginning…creative liberties. I did my best but I know it's not 100% accurate. Anyway… next chapter we FINALLY get to see Bravo's reaction to finding out Clay has been alive and tortured all this time. How will they handle it? How will Clay react?**


	9. Chapter 9

As soon as the door to the briefing room was shut, the tension in the room immediately vamped up. Whatever this was that required Bravo to be called in after only being home for a week and half after their deployment, also required two other tier one teams. That fact alone had everyone itching for information.

Jason was looking around at the nearly full room and stopped when his gaze landed on Mandy, Lisa and Eric. The way they were looking at each other meant something was up. Lisa looked like she was holding back tears, Eric looked like he had just seen a ghost and Mandy looked terrified to start the briefing.

Before beginning, Mandy took one last look at Blackburn, who gave her a slot nod. She took a deep breath and finally began to speak. "Three days ago, a team of Marines following intel of a reported prisoner camp in Vietnam." She said with a shaky voice as she pulled up the paused video of the village. "They were instructed not to make contact with anyone in the village for any reason. It was strictly an intel mission." She paused again.

"Okay… So what's so important about that prisoner camp that the marines can't liberate it themselves?" Jason asked.

Mandy looked at both Eric and Lisa after Jason's question. The closer she got to the reveal, the more nervous she became.

"Spit it out Mandy!" Sonny raised his voice. He knew something was up and was growing more and more anxious by the minute.

Instead of answering verbally, she hit play on the video and let them see for themselves. At first, they all had the same reaction as she did, wondering what was so important about the video. As soon as they seen it though, there was no denying that two of the men in the video for Khmer and Clay.

Sonny stood up from his chair so fast after seeing Clay, that his chair went flying behind him. He grabbed his water bottle, throwing it so hard against the wall that water spilled everywhere. Before anyone knew could say a word, Sonny barged out of the briefing room, punching the wall right outside the door and slid down the wall, devastated.

Ray went after him, while the rest of the room erupted into questions, mostly from Jason wanting to know how it was possible.

Once Ray stepped out of the room, the first thing he noticed was the hole in the wall followed by Sonny on the ground with his arms and bloody hand folded over top of his knees, crying.

"He's alive Ray. He's alive and we weren't even looking for him. How is that even possible?" Sonny sobbed.

Ray, who also had a few tears rolling down his cheeks, knelt down across from Sonny and said "Sonny look at me." He waited for Sonny to look up. "We didn't know. We searched everywhere for him for hours. Found a bunch of his stuff covered in blood, ISR showed no one coming or going. That's pretty solid evidence he was gone. I don't know how they could have gotten away with him but I promise you, we're going to find out!"

"We gotta get to him. He's gotta be hurt pretty bad. Who knows what else those animals did to him. We just… We gotta get him Ray." Sonny's voice practically sounded like he was begging.

"We will Sonny. We will. We know where he is. The marines are keeping watch on the village until we get there. Now come on. Pull yourself together. The quicker we finish this briefing, the quicker we can get on that plane to go get our boy." Ray stood up, offering his hand to Sonny, to help him up.

The second Sonny and Ray returned to the room, they noticed Jason fuming at Lisa, Mandy and Eric practically blaming them for not finding anything indicating Clay was still alive. Trent, and Brock were trying their best to calm him down and the other two teams were talking amongst themselves.

Once Jason noticed Sonny and Ray had returned to the room, he sat himself down, still throwing daggers with his eyes, but wanting to get the briefing finished so they could get to Vietnam as soon as possible.

Once everyone calmed down enough, the briefing was finished and Blackburn gave them two hours to get everything in order and get on the plane.

The tension on the flight could be cut with a knife, but it was no longer directed towards each other. It was all directed towards the mission.

Jason had taken the opportunity to apologize to Lisa, Mandy and Eric during the flight after having a few hours to calm down. They explained they understood it was a heat of the moment type thing and even though his words hurt at the time, they knew he didn't really blame them. After clearing the air with them, they then ordered everyone to get some sleep cause once they landed, they weren't going to be getting much until they were back on the flight heading home.

An hour after Jason's apology, Lisa noticed no one on Bravo was actually getting any sleep. She had gone up to them explaining that they really needed to catch some shut eye while they could, but none of them were able to. "It's gonna be a rough few days with little sleep once we land. If you don't get some sleep now, you'll be no good to anyone. He needs you guys to be at full strength." It got to the point where she ended up forcing them all to take a seconal. She also had to force it on to three members of Alpha and one from Delta.

Luckily, they already knew where they needed to go. The downside to it was that it was nearly a full day's hike to get there. Any other way would be too risky at spooking Khmer off.

A little before the plane landed, Trent and the medics from Alpha and Delta put together a couple of impressive med kits with various things they knew they were going to need based off the video, things they hoped they wouldn't need and some things they wanted just in case.

As soon as the plane landed at the local Vietnamese base where the Marines were stationed, there were three vans waiting to take them to the edge of the woods where they would begin their hike.

Before they took off, Blackburn gave them one final 'self-control' speech, despite giving them multiple on the plane, but he also said to make sure those bastards got what they deserved.

They began the trek through the rocky, hilly, terrain, stopping only for quick bathroom and water breaks.

After a full day of hiking, the three teams made it to the Marines location just before 9 pm.

The marines explained the routine of the village, where Clay was being held and where Khmer was hiding most of his weapons. They estimated that throughout the village there were about 50 men that acted as guards at various times of the day. They also seen about 20 women and a handful of kids that were kept away from the prison side of the village. On the prison side, they counted about 22 prisoners, including Clay.

"What time does it seem quietest?" Jason asked one of the marines.

"Typically, around 1 am they begin to settle down aside from a few night-shift guards." He explained.

"OK, so we wait till 2, give them time to fall into a deep sleep. Also give us a few hours to rest." Jason explained.

Sonny, of course, protested. "We're so close, Jace. Can't we just do what we always do and go get our boy?"

"Trust me Sonny, I want to get him back just as bad as you, but going in now will be a suicide mission. It's too active and too many innocent people could get caught in the cross fire." Jason countered.

"They ain't all that innocent if they know what's been going on." Sonny mumbled.

"Look Sonny, he made it this long, he can manage a few more hours." Jason was growing annoyed. He didn't like waiting just as much as Sonny, but he knew it was the right call.

As soon as Jason and Sonny ended their little disagreement, they started developing more of their plan. Come 2:00, the three teams would quietly sneak into the village. Delta was in charge of destroying the weapons shed. Half of Alpha was on overwatch with the group of marines while the other half, plus the two other medics would be with Bravo going after Clay and the rest of the prisoners.

As they entered the village successfully, Brock and one of the guys from Alpha quietly took out two of the guards. Delta placed explosives around the weapons shed, but were told not to blow it until they had found Clay or they were under attack.

They turned a corner, coming up on the building where the marines told them Clay was in, and as they approached, a big, burly guy walked out of one of the huts and began yelling before Derek could get a shot off. He only managed to scream out a word or two before dropping to the ground, but it was enough to wake the village.

Within the seconds, the village returned to life and a firefight ensued.


	10. Chapter 10

As soon as the village came to life, the members of Alpha that were still up on the hill began taking out as many people as they could to help their brothers in the village.

Thankfully, the people of the village were caught off guard, without weapons, making them no match against three of the top SEAL teams the Navy had to offer. Many of the villagers were killed on their way to the weapons shed, and those who actually made it, were killed when Delta finally blew it up.

Once the shed was blown up, Delta headed for Khmers office. Mandy had asked for him to be brought in alive, but understood if that wasn't possible. Killed or captured were the only two options they were given. Khmer under no circumstances, was allowed to escape. As they opened the door, Delta 2 informed Blackburn they had visual on Khmer. No sooner did Khmer stand up, revealing he had a detonator in his hand connected to an S-vest that he was wearing. Delta had a matter of seconds to run back out the door before the vest detonated, making it just far enough to sustain injuries, but nothing life threatening.

"Delta 1, this HAVOC, what did we just see?" Delta 1 didn't answer right away, trying to regain his bearings. "Delta 1, come in." Blackburn continued.

"Havoc." He took a breath. "Delta 1. Khmer is dead… was wearing an S-vest." He relayed.

"Good copy Delta 1. What's the status of your team?"

"Little banged up, but we'll make it."

A few buildings over, Bravo and half of Alpha seen and felt the explosion form Khmers office. Jason immediately sent Delta's medic over to check on them.

A few minutes later, as Bravo made their way closer towards Clay's building, Delta's medic radioed over to Jason. "Bravo 1, Delta 3. They're a little banged up but good to go. Aside from some pretty gnarly cuts and bruises and a few minor burns, they're good."

"Good copy, Delta 3. Charlie Mike." Jason informed him over the radio as they approached the door that would hopefully lead them to Clay.

After deeming the building safe to enter, Sonny turned the knob, pushing the door open. "Jesus Christ." Brock mumbled under his breath as they all stepped inside. There were 27 people, all chained to a bed post, looking terrified. They scoped the large room looking from bunk to bunk until the finally laid eyes on their boy.

They immediately ran over to Clay while Alpha took care of some of the other prisoners.

Trent wasted no time getting to work on Clay, assessing the damage.

"How is he?" Sonny asked nervously almost as soon as they got to him.

"How's he look Sonny? I just got to him. Give me a minute to look him over." Trent barked out a little harsher than he intended.

"Did you say Sonny?" A voice asked before Sonny had a chance to respond to Trent.

Sonny immediately turned around to the guy next to Clay. "What's it to you?" Sonny asked.

Sonny was exactly what Paul pictured when Clay was telling him about his best friend. There was no denying this burly Texan wasn't Clay's best friend. "He talked about you a lot. Said you'd come for him no matter what."

Those words rendered Sonny speechless. Clay never gave up hope that they would find him and they weren't even looking for him.

Trent pulled Sonny out of his thoughts by looking up to Paul. "What did they do to him?" Trent asked. He had seen the video so he had a general idea, but he had no idea what happened before or after the video.

"They hung him by the wrists long enough for his shoulders to dislocate. I tried to pop them back in but after a few failed attempts he wouldn't let me try anymore." Paul started.

"Wait, he didn't pass out? Sonny asked.

"He did." Paul nodded, "But by the time I got in here he was beginning to wake back up. Anyway, I'm pretty sure he did more damage to his shoulder that's preventing them from staying in place. As far as his back goes, he wouldn't let me anywhere near it. I tried to tell him I needed to clean it out so he wouldn't get an infection but he didn't care. I almost feel like he was hoping for it, put him out of his misery. As soon as he passed out again though I started cleaning. He hasn't really woken up since so I hope it wasn't too late."

"How long ago was that?"

"Started this morning. He's opened his eyes once, maybe twice since then, but not for long."

Trent kept nodding his head as he listened to Paul. He could just by looking at Clay that the infection was hitting hard. Clay was hot and sweaty, shaking from the chills, his breathing was too shallow and as of right now, he was unresponsive. He hasn't even seen Clay's back yet, but he knew it wasn't going to be pretty.

"Jace, we need that medevac here pronto if he's gonna have any chance at all." Trent said, urgency clear as day in his voice.

"On it." Jason replied as he keyed up his radio to Blackburn. "HAVOC, Bravo One, we found six, requesting immediate medevac." Jason called to Blackburn.

"Good copy, Bravo One, Medevac on it's way. ETA 30 minutes. Status of six?" Eric asked, not sure if he was ready for the answer or not.

"Not good." Was the only response Jason gave his boss as he walked back over towards Trent, who was just about to cut Clay's shirt off to get a good look as his back.

"God damn bastards." Trent mumbled under his breath as he cut and began to peel the shirt off of Clay.

Rage and guilt began to boil over in the rest of the team as Trent revealed Clays back.

Every rib was visible clear as day, some looking a little out of place. Both shoulders were clearly dislocated and he was covered in bruises. The most concerning though, was the three large, ugly lacerations wrapped around Clays back, covering six similar ones that had already scarred.

_The whipping we seen in the video clearly wasn't the first time they whipped Clay, _was the first thing Jason thought after seeing the scars and it only made the guilt he was already feeling, sky rocket. "How many times has he been whipped before?" Jason looked over to Paul.

"Just once. He escaped for like a month, when they finally found him, they whipped him for each week he was gone plus an addition two for the two guards they blamed for letting him escape." Paul answered.

All of Bravo was slightly impressed and relieved to hear Clay had escaped for a month.

"Did he get any kind of infection that time?" Trent asked.

"I don't think so. Chann had his wife take care of him in a separate building that time so he wouldn't die. When they brought him back a few weeks later, they were on the verge of healing but still very painful."

"Why didn't she do it this time?" Sonny asked.

"Apparently Clay overstepped a bit last time. She refuses to help him anymore, so the job became mine. The only problem this time was that he didn't want help." Paul trailed off.

Hearing that Clay didn't want help made Trent's stomach drop. From the day he had joined Bravo, he had engrained in Clays head that he always accepts help no matter how big or small the problem was. If he was refusing help, that meant he was giving up.

Noticing the look on his best friends face, Brock said "I've seen that look before. What are you thinking?"

Trent shrugged. "He gave up. That's the only way he would deny help, especially with something as bad as this."

Sonny walked out after hearing Trent say his best friend gave up. He could no longer stand the sight of seeing Clay so physically and mentally broken, knowing he could have prevented it if he had only known Clay was still alive.

Sonny wasn't ever one to lose control of his emotions during missions. Sure, he would go a step or two too far from time to time but he would never shut down and just walk away like that.

Ray stood up and went to follow Sonny, but Jason stopped him. "Let him go Ray. He needs a minute. Keep helping Trent." Jason said as Ray nodded his head and went back to assisting Trent with cleaning and covering Clay's back with sterile gauze strips and starting IV's.

Paul stood up and asked if he could go talk to Sonny. Jason was hesitant, knowing how Sonny could react to outsiders trying to help him, but something told him to let Paul try.

After receiving a slight nod from Jason, Paul walked out the door, finding Sonny sitting on the steps fighting back tears. At first, neither man said a word. Paul wanted to wait and see if Sonny would say anything first. When he didn't. he decided to take a chance and break the silence. "You know, the first time I really talked to him, all he would talk about was you guys." Paul said carefully.

Hearing that was like a punch to the gut for Sonny, but he still didn't say anything.

"I think that's what kept him going. Now matter how bad things got, and trust me, they got bad, he always pulled through because he said you guys would come for him." Paul said, noticing how Sonny turned his head away to hide the tears he couldn't hold back anymore. "He talked about you the most, how you wanted nothing to do with him when he first joined the team to becoming his best friend. He even told a few stories about some of the shenanigan's you guys would get into. And how Bravo became the family he never had but always wanted."

After a minute, Sonny finally looked at Paul. "You know what the worst part of all this is? We weren't even looking for him. We thought he was killed on the mission. Had a funeral and all. If we had only known, all of this could have been avoided." Sonny sobbed.

Paul sighed. He could only imagine the guilt not just Sonny, but the whole team was feeling. "But you didn't know and you're here now. You found him! Just like he said you would. That's all that matters."

"But what if it's not enough? What if were too late? What if he wakes up and can't forgive us? What if"

Paul cut Sonny off. "Woah man. That's a lot of what ifs. Those kinds of questions will drive a man nuts. Just focus on right now. He's a tough guy, he'll find a way to pull through." Paul replied as he looked up, hearing the blades of three helicopters approaching.

"I uh.. I should let them know the medevac is here." Sonny said as he stood up and walked back towards the door with Paul following behind. Before opening the door and walking in, Sonny turned to Paul and said "You know. I'm glad he had you. Thanks for being a good friend to him. I know he can rub a lot of people the wrong way, but he means well."

Paul just smiled and gave a slight nod before following Sonny inside.

Sonny didn't miss the look Jason gave him as they walked back in. Clearly whatever Paul said helped and Jason knew it. "Medevacs are here. He ready to go?" Sonny asked.

"Just about." Trent replied as he applied the last few bandages.

As the helicopters landed, Trent told Brock and Ray to help him get Clay on the backboard.

"Is it ok for him to be on his back?" Brock asked concerned.

"There's really no good position for him Brock." Trent answered.

As they were preparing to roll him down to his back onto the backboard, Lopez, who had been busy helping Alpha and trying to stay out of the way, noticed Clay scrunch his face in pain. "Wait!" He yelled out. "I think he's waking up."

Trent looked down, seeing the obvious signs of pain on Clays face. "Clay. Hey! You with us? Come on Clay." He started saying. "Come on bud, I need you to open your eyes for me."

A few minutes later, after quite a bit of coaxing, Clay blinked his eyes open. Relief flooded through Trent momentarily, hoping Clay would realize they were getting him out of there. "There you go man. Can you look at me?"

Clay blinked a few more times before his eyes found Trent, but no sooner than making eye contact, did Clay close his eyes again.

Trent held on to the hope that Clay acknowledged they were there and prayed it would be enough for him to start fighting to live again rather than just waiting to die.

As they loaded into the helicopter, Sonny made sure Paul was with them. His excuse- Clay would want him there.

No one questioned it. If having Paul around made Sonny feel better, they would keep him around as long as they could.

The ride to the hospital lasted about a half hour. The whole way, not one member of Bravo took their eyes off Clay. As they landed at the base hospital, the doctors came out running, some splitting off to help the injured members of Delta while the others ran towards Clay.

Before long, Clay was taken from the once again which made all of them anxious. Even Lopez. He had been drafted to the team a few months after Clay was presumed dead, but with the way the guys talked about him, he felt like he knew Clay.

One of the doctors had come out almost immediately and said "They're running a bunch of tests and then most likely heading straight to surgery. I'll update you as soon as I know anything."

Needing to keep themselves busy while they waited, most of Bravo went to check up on Delta, who were all being looked over for their injuries, while Sonny went with Paul.

Sonny had so many questions for Paul, but he didn't really know where to start. Fortunately, Paul seemed to be able to read Sonny's mind.

"You want to know how bad it was don't you?" Paul asked.

Sonny thought about it then nodded. He really didn't want to know. He felt bad enough as it is, but if knowing what Clay went through would help him help Clay, he needed to know.

"Apparently when you guys were on that mission, one of the guys he killed was Chann Khmers little brother. Because of that, Chann had it out for Clay. When they first brought him to the bunkhouse, he was in pretty rough shape. Pretty sure he had a concussion, large cut under his left eye, you can still see the scar, and he was stabbed in the shoulder. After that they stuck him in the box, which is where Chann sent people who were being disobedient."

Sonny chuckled a bit at that. "Clay? Disobedient? You don't say."

"Yeah. Figured that out pretty quick." Paul laughed back. "When they brought him back, he definitely had signs of heat exhaustion and dehydration. Not even sure how he pulled through that one."

"Stubbornness." Sonny answered, without missing a beat.

"Had to be. After he recovered from that, they took him again and waterboarded him. He came back soaking wet, exhausted and coughing. The two guards were so busy making fun of him they didn't remember to chain him up. Once Clay realized it, he escaped. Was gone for a month before they found him."

"He got away?" Sonny asked.

"He did. I tried to talk him out of it, but he wasn't listening."

"Sounds about right. He sets his mind to something, good luck talking him out of it." Sonny smiled again, glad that Clay seemed to have stayed strong- willed for a good amount of time.

Paul nodded. He definitely believed that. "Once they found him and brought him back, they whipped him for the first time. Four lashed for each week he was gone, plus two for the two guards Chann killed for not chaining him up. I thought for sure after that he was gone, but apparently Khmer told his wife to make sure he didn't die."

"Why would he want his wife to save Clay?" Sonny asked.

"Apparently Chann didn't think Clay had suffered enough yet. He would torture him to the point Clay would almost pass out from the pain, then have his wife care for him to make sure he recovered enough to start all over with some other form of torture.

"Fucking animal." Sonny mumbled.

"You have no idea." Paul replied. "After Clay recovered the guards took him to Khmers office, wouldn't let him sleep then forced him to fight a guy who looked like he belonged in the ring with Mike Tyson. Clay was exhausted, weak and still hurting, but he held his own in the beginning before the guy started beating the shit out if him. After that I was the one that had to take care of him. It wasn't easy, but I managed. Clay eventually healed enough and then once again they took him and put him in this deep hole thing with bamboo bars over top so he couldn't get out for a couple days. They left him there until they once again tied him by the wrists to the poll, this time high enough that he had to stand on toes. They left him like that for over a day. When Chann finally appeared, he was going to whip Clay again, but Clay, who was already in excruciating pain from his shoulders couldn't take anymore. He broke and begged Chann not to do it. Eventually, Chan agreed, throwing the whip on the ground, only for his other brother to pick it up and get three solid lashes in before Chann could stop him… And the rest you already know."

"So, he didn't break down till the very end?" Sonny asked, not sure how he felt about that. He wanted to be proud that Clay held on for so long, but if they would have just been a few days earlier, it could have been prevented.

"He put up a hell of a fight. Don't know he held on for so long. I would have broke months ago if I received the same treatment as him. Sure, they beat us all daily, but what they would do to him made those beatings seem like nothing."

Sonny was about to respond to Paul when Lopez knocked and told them the Doctor had an update if they wanted to hear it. Sonny helped Paul out of his bed and into a wheel chair and they headed into the waiting room to see just how bad Clay really was.

**Thanks everyone for all like pm's and reviews. They mean a lot! For those who wished to see how more of the team reacted, don't worry, their reactions are coming in later chapters! Also, I had to throw Lopez in there cause he'll fit into the story later, so lets just pretend he's been there for a few months. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter, I promise to try to get the next one up quickly!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry for the delay. I had a bunch of pictures I needed to edit so didn't have much time to write. I really struggled with this chapter so sorry if it's not all that great. Also, as with previous chapters, I took some creative liberties so sorry if not everything is spot on. I tried my best. Anyway, hope you enjoy!**

"Alright Doc, we're all here. What's the damage?" Jason asked. He had wished Blackburn, Davis and Ellis had been there to hear as well, but they were still being held up at the base finishing up the mission.

"Alright. I'll start by saying he's very lucky. If you would have gotten to him even a day later, the chances of him making it would have been slim to none. With that being said, he's still not out of the woods. We ran a bunch of different tests and have discovered multiple fractures that had healed incorrectly. They will require surgery at some point, but our main concern right now is his back."

"Where were the fractures?" Trent asked.

"His right foot, right hand and the left side of his jaw." The Doc answered.

"Why wait? You have him in surgery now." Sonny asked.

"He already has a serious infection. Any additional incisions pose too high of a risk for future development. Once we get this infection under control, then we will begin the other surgeries."

Sonny felt like an idiot for asking. He knew the answer to his question the minute he asked it, he just couldn't stand the idea of causing Clay any more pain than he was already in, wished they could just do it all at once.

"As for his shoulders, as you already know, they were both dislocated. He has multiple tears throughout the ligaments, muscles and tendons on both sides. We also detected signs of slight nerve damage on the left. His shoulders will be the next surgery, hopefully within the next few days, depending on how the infection clears up. Now for his back. As you're all aware, the whip marks had developed a severe infection. The surgeons are doing their best to get it all cleaned out as we speak. Future surgeries are a possibility if they don't manage to get all the sources of the infection. As a result of the infection, he has a dangerously high fever and his breathing has become compromised. When the surgery is finished, we will be placing him into a medically induced coma to allow his body to heal. He will be on a vent, so don't be alarmed when you see him. We will also be inserting a feeding tube to make sure he's receiving enough nutrients and to help him put some weight back on."

"How long?" Jason asked.

"As long as it's needed. We will re-evaluate in a week and if he's stable enough, then he will be sent back stateside for the remainder of his care."

"Thanks Doc. How long till we can see him?" Trent asked. They were all eager to get Clay back in their sights.

"Probably within the next few hours. As soon as the surgery is finished and they get him situated in a room, I will come get you guys. Now, as for you." The doctor pointed to Paul. "Time for you to head back to your room, the nurses want to run a few more tests."

Paul nodded from his wheelchair.

"I'll make sure he gets there." Sonny added. Helping Paul seemed to be the least Sonny could do. He was there for Clay when the rest of the team wasn't. Plus, it helps keep him busy and not constantly worrying about Clay.

Over the next two hours, Alpha, as well as Blackburn, Davis and Ellis showed up, bringing a few of the prisoners with them that needed to be checked over. Bravo had filled them in on how Clay and the members of Delta were doing.

Hearing Clay's condition was like a kick to the gut for all of them. They each blamed themselves in one way or another, wondering how they would ever forgive themselves if Clay didn't make it. Hell, they wondered how they would forgive themselves even if he did.

When the doctor finally returned with an update, everyone immediately crowded him. "The surgery was a little more complicated than we expected, but we believe we managed to get a good hold on the infection. The next few days will be crucial but as long as he stays stable, he should be able to fly back to the states by the end of the week."

"When can we see him?" Sonny asked, anxious to get eyes on his best friend again.

"If you follow me, I can take you to him right now." The doctor replied.

Sonny took one look back at Paul, who was now sound asleep, before following the rest of the team to go see Clay.

As they entered the room, there was a nurse who was finishing up getting Clay settled, who looked up as they walked in and offered a small smile. No one seemed to have noticed her though as their eyes were so focused on their brother who they thought they lost for good – that they could still lose if they can't get the infection under control.

For the first few minutes, no one said a word. They just stood there staring, trying to make sense of what they were looking at. Part of the still couldn't believe Clay has been alive all this time and that they actually had him back.

It was hard looking him. He had lost a bunch of weight, was covered in scars, bandages, tubes and wires, but they couldn't take their eyes off him, wouldn't take their eyes off him, afraid that if they did, they might lose him again.

After a couple hours of sitting around, Blackburn broke the silence. "Ok guys, I think it's time we get out of here, grab something to eat, shower and then get some rest. We've had a hell of a day." He hated suggesting they leave, but they couldn't sit here 24/7 waiting for Clay to wake up when they knew he wouldn't. He was in a medically induced coma. He wouldn't wake up until the doctors decided it was time.

"I ain't leaving." Sonny stated.

"Come on Sonny, Blackburn's right. Mandy and Lisa will be here with him and will call if anything changes." Jason reluctantly argued. He wasn't too thrilled about the idea of leaving Clay either, but it had to happen eventually.

"I said I ain't leaving." Sonny repeated and this time they knew not to argue with him. Everyone knew Clay was Sonny's best friend and he was blaming himself far more than anyone else.

"If he wants to stay, I have no problem heading back with you guys." Mandy spoke up.

"Alright then. Jason and Trent will be back to relieve the two of you in a few hours. The rest of you guys, lets head out." Blackburn said.

As soon as Lisa and Sonny were alone in Clays room, Sonny broke down crying. Lisa quickly made her way over to him, wrapping him in a hug and just let him cry. She knew Sonny was trying to be strong and to keep the brave face on around his brothers, but with her, he didn't have to do that. So, she stood there, holding him, letting him get it all out, while she also let tears flow.

After some time, they both pulled themselves together the best they could for the moment. Sonny then took a deep breath, looking at Clay then back to Davis. "I feel like we failed him."

Not wanting to lie and also feeling the same way, Lisa responded "Yeah. We kinda did, but we have him back now and you know were gonna do everything we can to make it right again."

Sonny nodded but didn't respond right away. "You think he'll ever forgive us?"

Lisa wasn't sure how to answer that question. There was so much they still didn't know, despite what Paul told them, for anyone to really have an idea of where Clay's head was at for the last year. "I don't know Son. I hope so. I wish I had a better answer."

"Would you?" He asked.

"Would I what?"

"Forgive us. You know, if you were the one stranded for over a year being tortured, with us not even looking for you." He asked quietly.

Lisa took a deep breath. "Honestly Sonny, I don't know. Maybe not at first, but I'm sure I would come around. What about you? Would you forgive us?"

"I don't know. That's what scares me." Sonny said as they both went silent. A few moments later Sonny spoke up. "I still just can't believe he's been alive all this time.

Lisa looked over at him, watching him as he watched Clay. "I can't either. When Mandy first informed us, I nearly lost it. I felt like I was going to be sick. I think the only thing that saved me from a complete break down was Blackburn. He was obviously upset about it, but he somehow managed to stay so calm and put together. He helped me get myself under control. Told me you guys needed me to be strong, that Clay needed me to be at my best. Helped me channel all of my feeling into getting Clay back. SO that's what I did."

Sonny was just about to respond when there was a soft knock on the door. Both Sonny and Lisa looked over and seen Paul in a wheelchair being pushed by someone who appeared to also be military.

"How's he doing?" Paul asked.

"Not so hot. The infections pretty severe. Doctors placed him in a coma, said it would help him heal. He's also gonna need a few more surgeries, but they can't do any of them until they get the infection under control. They said it's too risky." Sonny answered.

"He's tough as hell. He'll pull through. I have no doubts." Paul stated.

Lisa and Sonny both agreed, then Lisa asked "How are you feeling?"

"Compared to him, I don't think I can really complain." Paul shrugged. "By the way, this is Tom. He was my commanding officer when I was captured and my team was killed. Turns out he thought I was dead too." Tom then shook both Lisa and Sonny's hands. "Anyway, I'm going to be leaving for thing tomorrow. They cleared me to fly back to a French hospital so that I was closer to home, that's why Tom's here. I just wanted to check on Clay before we left and leave my number for when he gets out of here." Paul handed Lisa a ripped-up napkin with his information on it.

"That's great man! I'm glad to hear. You'll definitely be hearing from us." Sonny patted him gently on the shoulder. "I'm sure he's gonna want to talk to you once he starts coming around."

Before Paul and Tom left the room, Paul turned back to Lisa and Sonny. "Do me a favor. He's been through a lot so no matter what happens, don't give up on him or let him push you out. Make him talk to you. Cause not once did he give up on you guys."

Paul's words were both relieving and a kick to the gut. "You have our word." Lisa smiled as Paul and Tom left.

Not too much later, Jason and Trent showed up to give Sonny and Lisa some time to eat, shower and get some rest. Sonny of course, put up a fight, not wanting to leave, but ultimately losing the battle.

This went on for the next few days. Everyone rotated in shifts of two. Throughout those days, Clay thankfully remained mostly stable.

On the eighth day, Clay's fever finally broke. They waited an extra day to make sure the fever didn't return. Satisfied when it didn't, the doctors on base decided it was safe for Clay to be flown back to a hospital in Virginia Beach where he could receive much better care.

Upon arrival, everyone wanted to see Clay. The only person besides Bravo personnel who was actually able to see him was Naima, and that was only because she became one of his main nurses. Everyone else would have to wait until he was a bit better.

Once they got him settled in his new room, they decided it was time to perform the surgeries on his shoulders and to reset his jaw. The next 24 hours after the surgeries was critical to make sure an infection didn't return. He was monitored round the clock by doctors and nurses until they were confident he was good.

After another couple days, they performed the surgeries on his right hand and foot to fix the fractures that had healed incorrectly and then they once again kept a close eye on him for any signs of infection.

Just over two weeks after being found, the doctors were happy enough with Clay's progress, especially with how nicely his back was healing now that he was receiving proper care, that they decided it was time to start lifting the sedation. As they did, the entire team was present.

The doctors explained it was going to be done slowly. The first step would be lifting it just enough for him to breathe on his own, but he still wouldn't be awake.

Everyone held their breath as the vent was removed, forcing Clay to breathe on his own for the first time in over two weeks. He struggled at first causing a few members of the team to panic.

"Don't worry. It's perfectly normal. He hasn't had to breathe for himself for a few weeks. His body is just realizing its time to start working again. It'll even out and if it doesn't, we put him back on the vent for a little longer." Naima informed them.

Sure enough, after a few struggling breaths, Clay's breathing started to even out, allowing everyone to relax a bit.

Two more days later, they lifted the sedation even more. This time, it would be just enough for him to wake up momentarily. He wouldn't be awake very long, most likely wouldn't talk or even really respond to them.

As they waited for him to wake up, Mandy was the first to notice him starting to scrunch his face. She nodded over to him and everyone drew their attention to his face.

"Hey Clay. You with us? Come on brother, open your eyes." Trent started asking.

Clay heard Trent, but he couldn't force his eyes open. He was in so much pain, kinda disappointed to be awake in the first place and was afraid that if he opened his eyes, he would be looking at Paul, not Trent. If he could just keep his eyes closed long enough to be sucked back into the darkness, he might be able to avoid that disappointment for a little bit longer.

Except Trent's voice didn't go away. It just became more and more clear. "Are you in pain? Do you need more meds? Please. Just open your eyes and I'll make sure you get the good stuff."

Clay was torn. He was convinced his mind was playing tricks on him again. He didn't want to open his eyes and find he was still trapped in hell and that Trent was nowhere to be found. On the other hand, though, he really needed something to help with the pain, even if it was just something from Paul.

As he contemplated opening his eyes, a single tear escaped his right eye. He wasn't sure if it was from the pain or the thought that if he opened his eyes Trent's voice would disappear.

"Come on, Clay. Please just open your eyes. Please." This time it was Sonny's voice he heard.

"Hey Clay. I know you're with us. IF you open your eyes, we can give you your next dose of pain killers. That sound good to you?" This time it was Naima's voice. The surprise of hearing her voice caught him off guard and he just couldn't ignore them anymore.

Seventeen days after being rescued, Clay Spenser finally opened his eyes.


	12. Chapter 12

Clay slowly scanned the room, looking at each individual person. Most of the people he recognized, some he didn't. The expression on his face was completely unreadable.

Jason, who was standing to the right of Clay was the first to speak up. "It's gonna be ok Clay, you just gotta stay strong. You did good." He was trying to be encouraging.

Clay looked away, shut his eyes and could no longer hold the tears back from all the different emotions he was feeling. He was frustrated, angry, disappointed, ashamed, happy, scared, relieved and in a ton of pain.

Jason's words kept repeating in his head. He wished he wouldn't have said that. He didn't feel like he did good. He held off for so long, only to let Khmer break him right before he was rescued. He was disappointed and ashamed of himself and couldn't stop worrying about what his brothers would think of him. They are trained to never give up and that's exactly what Clay felt like he did.

He was also scared that he was going to wake up and this whole thing would just be another dream. Except this time, it felt different. It felt real and for that he allowed himself to feel a little bit of relief and happiness.

Trent, who was standing on the left side of Clay, carefully grabbed Clay's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, letting Clay know they were there and that it was ok to cry.

"Why don't you guys give us a minute?" Naima suggested. This wasn't exactly the reaction she was expecting from Clay, and was afraid he was going to get too worked up if she wasn't able to calm him down. As she predicted, no one really wanted to leave, forcing her to use her nursing authority and order them out.

Once they were gone, Naima shut the door and turned back to Clay. She pulled up a chair next to Clay and put her hand on top of Clay's. She couldn't help but notice the slight flinch that came from Clay, but decided not to mention it. "Clay? Can you look at me?" She said gently.

Clay slowly shook his head. He hated the fact that anyone was seeing him like this. Naima kept pushing though and he knew she wasn't going to stop until he looked. Reluctantly, he turned his head towards her and opened his eyes.

Naima knew she didn't have long before Clay fell asleep so she tried to make the most of whatever time she had. She knew Clay wasn't going to talk, at least not yet, so she wasn't going to waste time trying to get him to do so. Instead, she tried to comfort him and only asked simple yes or no questions. "There you are." Naima smiled. "It's really good to see you again Clay. You have no idea how much you were missed by everyone, and that doesn't just include Bravo. Jameelah talks about you all the time. She doesn't really understand what happened, but I know she really misses you." She stopped to wipe a tear from her cheek. "We all really missed you."

While listening to Naima, Clay realized he doesn't really understand what happened either. He doesn't understand why he was there for so long or what took them so long to find him. He has so many questions, he's just not sure if he's ready for the answers. He wants to be in a clear headspace where he can actually grasp the answers and right now, he's not there. He turns his head a moment later and winces as a wave of pain hits so strong he feels nauseous.

Naima notices and quickly grabs a bucket for him to get sick in. They've had Clay on an NG tube since he came in, so luckily, he actually has something in his stomach to throw up rather than just dry heaving.

Once he's finished, Clay is completely exhausted, but the pain is keeping him from being comfortable.

"You want me to get you some more pain meds?" She asked gently.

Clay looked at her with sad eyes and nodded again. He hated pain meds. Hated them! But right now, he needed them bad.

"Ok. I'm gonna go get you some." She stood up and began to walk away before stopping and turning back to Clay, who now had a pained expression on his face, eyes squeezed shut and tears running down his cheeks. She was gonna say something, but decided it could wait, wanting to give him a moment to himself.

As she walked out of the room, the rest of Bravo swarmed her. "He'll be ok. The pain just caused him to get a little nauseous. I'm getting him more pain meds now. I'll be right back, but don't go in yet. He needs a minute to himself."

After she returned and administered the pain meds, she went back out to talk to Bravo. "I know you guys want to be there for him, but you also have to give him some space. Especially in the beginning. He's been through a lot. He needs some time to himself where he can try to process it all without having to put on a brave face for you guys."

"He don't got to put on a brave face for us." Sonny replied.

"No, he doesn't, but he does it anyways because he doesn't want you guys to worry." Naima answered back. "Please, just give him some space, don't swarm him, let him open up when he's ready."

They silently agreed, not liking it, but understanding. "We're still gonna take shifts." Jason informed her. "I don't want him waking up alone, thinking we left him again. Once he's awake, we'll find an excuse to leave the room for a couple minutes to give him some time alone."

Naima could tell by the tone of Jason's voice that he was both asking and telling. "I don't think that will be a problem. Thanks for understanding."

**Sorry for the short chapter. I wanted to get it posted so that I could get the next chapter started and needed to get this chapter out of the way!**


	13. Chapter 13

As the days went on, Clay started staying awake longer and longer. The physical pain was becoming less of an issue, resulting in him taking less pain meds. The downside to that was he started sleeping less due to growing number of nightmares he began having.

Naima had suggested giving him a sedative at night to help him get a full night's sleep, but Clay flat out refused. He was growing tired and frustrated of the drugs, needles, tubes, all of it.

All around, he wasn't very fun to be around at the moment. Most of the time he would barely even acknowledge that Bravo was there. The only two people he would somewhat pay any mind to were Blackburn and Naima.

Bravo didn't that let stop them from their visits though. They understood how frustrated and tired Clay was and weren't going to let his attitude run them off. So, day after day they continued showing up and switching shifts so that at least one person was always with him.

After Clay realized his team wasn't going anywhere no matter how hard he tried to push them away, he began questioning Blackburn. He doesn't know why Blackburn was the one he felt the most open with. Maybe because he's the boss? Or was a bit separated from the team? Whatever it was, he was glad that usually when Blackburn was there, he was there alone.

Eric was sitting in a chair reading a book when Clay surprised him and broke the silence. Up until this point, he would only answer question, he would never initiate any kind of conversation unless he was trying to get him to leave. "So." Clay paused, looked over at Eric. "The new guy on the team, guessing he was my replacement?"

Eric was almost speechless. Of all the things Clay could have said, the last thing he was expecting was for it to be about Vic. "Not quite. He was joining the team with or without you." Blackburn answered carefully, knowing he had to tread lightly if he wanted to keep Clay talking.

Clay nodded slowly and Blackburn could see the wheels in his head turning. "How long has he been on the team?"

"He was drafted about four months before we found you." Blackburn replied, noticing the slight flicker on Clay's face at the mention of finding him.

There was another moment of silence, and Blackburn knew the question they were all dreading was about to come. He just hoped Clay was ready for the answer.

"Can I… can I ask you a question?" Clay hesitated.

"Yeah. Of course." Blackburn scooted his chair closer.

"Well, actually two questions." Clay looked back over to Eric. "Is Sonny ok?"

Blackburn let out a breath of air, definitely not the question he was expecting. "Yeah. Sonny's fine. Why?"

Clay shrugged as much as his injured shoulders would allow. "Out of everyone, he's been here the least. Pretty sure even the new guy has been here more."

Eric didn't know how to answer that question without revealing too much information. "Sonny's just, he's been having a hard time wrapping his head around everything."

"Well, that kinda brings me to my next question. What is 'everything'?"

There it is. The question they've dreaded. "I'm gonna need you to be a little more specific?" Blackburn was stalling.

"Why did it take so long?" Clay's voice during the question nearly broke Blackburn and he really wished someone else was here with him to help answer.

Eric stood up and walked over to the window. He looked out and then looked back over at Clay. "Honestly, we thought you were killed in the explosion. We found a bunch of your stuff and blood that was a DNA match to you. All the evidence pointed to you being dead."

A single tear fell from Clay's eye. He knew this was a possibility. "So, no one was even looking for me?"

That question hit harder than the previous. Blackburn just shook his head, not able to find his words.

Blackburn once again watched the wheels in Clay's head began turning. He hoped he didn't just make a huge mistake by telling Clay the truth. Luckily, he didn't have to hope long.

"They tried to convince me they were killed in the explosion, kinda like Paul's team. I knew it was a lie, but a small part of me couldn't help but wonder if it was true. I'm glad it wasn't."

Eric walked back over to his seat and sat down. "The second we found out you were still alive, we couldn't get to you quick enough. I'm sorry it took as long as it did."

Clay was no longer able to hold back tears. He wasn't even entirely sure why he was crying. The whole conversation was just becoming overwhelming for him.

Blackburn stood up, gently patted Clay's right thigh. "I'm gonna head out to the hall, give you a couple minutes to yourself." Eric thought back to Naima telling them Clay sometimes needed a little space.

"No." Clay responded, quicker than he meant to. "It's ok if you want to stay."

Blackburn smiled and sat back down, trying his best to navigate Clay through his emotions. It took some time, but at the end of it Clay had finally fallen asleep, which Eric was relieved to see.

About an hour after Clay had fallen asleep, Jason had shown up to switch with Eric.

Eric stood up and held a finger up to his lips, not wanting Jason to wake up Clay. He then ushered Jason back out the door so that they could talk.

"What's the matter? Everything ok?" Jason had a worried look on his.

"I think so. He opened up a little bit earlier." Eric revealed.

Jason's eyebrows raised at the news.

"He asked what took so long." Eric sighed.

Jason's stomach dropped. That could have only gone two ways.

"I told him the truth. It definitely stung, but I think he was more relieved that you guys were still alive. He said they had tried to convince him everyone was killed in the explosions."

Jason felt a weight lifted off his shoulders. "So, he's not pissed at us?"

"I don't think so. He did ask about Vic and Sonny though." Eric replied.

"What about them?"

"Asked if Vic was the guy that replaced him and then wanted to know why the new guy that he doesn't even know has been here more than Sonny."

Jason ran his hands through his hair. "So, he has noticed?"

Eric nodded.

"I'll make sure he gets here. Maybe knowing Clay knows the truth will help."

As Eric was about to respond, Ray turned the corner and was brought up to speed on the conversation. Once he was all caught up, Jason told Eric to head home and relax while he and Ray walked into Clay's room for their shift.

They only hoped Clay would be as open with them as he has been with Eric.

**Sorry for the delay guys. I've been super busy with all the holiday stuff going on. I also struggled with this chapter and started it over at least three times until I came up with something I was at least somewhat happy with, so I hope you enjoy! Also, I'm gonna try my best to get the next chapter up before Christmas, but I can't make any promises.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey guys! Hope you all had a great holiday! This was actually supposed to be posted Sunday but I had written it in my notebook and forgot to pack it when I went to Florida so I had to wait until I got back. Hope you guys enjoy it.**

Jason and Ray entered Clay's room and each took a seat, quietly shooting the shit while Clay slept. They tried to let him sleep for as long as he needed, but when he started showing signs of another nightmare, they made the decision to wake him up before he got sucked too far into the dream. They carefully approached him and began gently trying to wake him up.

Safely waking someone up from a nightmare was both fortunately and unfortunately something that the entire team now exceled at. They all had nightmares from time to time.

It took some time, but Clay slowly started to come around, blinking away the blurriness and confusion until he remembered he was in the hospital and not still trapped in the jungle.

After taking a few deep, calming breaths, he looked at both Jason and Ray.

"You want to talk about it?" Jason asked as he and Ray returned to their seats.

Clay thought about it for a second, but then slowly shook his head no. He knew he probably should have said yes, but he had already slowly stated opening up to Blackburn earlier and in all honesty, he really wasn't ready to talk about it yet.

Jason and Ray both looked at each other, wondering how hard they were going to have to push to get Clay to open up without pushing too hard.

For now, though, they decided not to push. Instead they planned on just changing the subject.

To everyone's surprise, it was Clay who broke the silence. "I'm sorry." He paused. "I know I haven't been the best person to be around lately and that I need to get better about talking about what happened. I'm just not ready yet."

"Clay. Don't you ever apologize for that. What you went through, I couldn't even imagine. You'll open up when you're ready. Until then, we're gonna be right by your side, helping however we can." Jason told him, hoping he got his point across.

Clay nodded, once again trying and failing to hold back tears. "Have I mentioned how much I hate what a fucking emotional mess I've become?"

Ray chuckled a little then looked over to Jason. "You gonna tell him, or should I?"

Jason smiled and shook his head. He knew what Ray was thinking, he just hoped it wasn't too soon.

"When we first lost you, we were all a fucking wreck! It was to the point where we were all forced into therapy before they would let us return to work. This guy right here." Ray pointed to Jason. "He's still going, voluntarily."

Clays eyes shot over to Jason who just shrugged his shoulders. "Did he just say YOU, the macho Jason Hayes, is VOLUNTARILY seeing a therapist?"

Jason's smile grew and he nodded. "After everything that's happened over the last few years, I slipped into a really dark place that only got worse after we lost you. This therapist guy though, he's good. He's real good."

Clay offered a slight laugh. It was the first genuine one they've seen since he has been found. "Never in a million years did I think there would ever be a day where Jason Hayes would actually accept help."

"I'll tell you what, my only regret is that I didn't find this guy sooner." Jason confessed.

"How'd you find him?" Clay asked.

Ray busted out laughing before Jason was even able to answer. "Oh Spenser, you thought him going to therapy was good! Wait until you here this one!"

Jason rolled his eyes at Ray then looked back over to Clay. "Not too long after we lost you, our new commander hired a…"

"Wait, new commander? What happened to Harrington?" Clay interrupted.

"He retired, remember? Was talking about it for weeks before this mission." Jason reminded him. "Anyway, the new commander brought in a physiologist to help out the team. Long story short, she's the one that recommended this guy."

"And?" Ray pushed him to continue.

"And I'm sort of kinda dating her." Jason shrugged.

Clay's eyes grew along with his smile. "Therapy AND a girlfriend!? Jeez, what else have I missed?"

"A whole lot brother, but don't worry, we'll get you all filled in." Ray said.

Jason thought back to the whole reason he brought up the therapist in the first place. He hated ruining this moment. It was the first time since everything happened that Clay really seemed like himself and everything else was forgotten. He hated ruining that, but he was also trying to think of the long-term. "Alright, that's enough about my personal life for now. I really think you would like this guy and I'm sure he could help."

Clay's smile dropped instantly at the mention of him speaking to a therapist, but he reluctantly nodded his head. "I will, I'm just not ready yet." He hoped Jason would be ok with that.

"'l'll accept that." Jason replied. "I'll talk to him, maybe try to set something up for next week or the week after?"

Clay looked down at his shaking hands. Just the thought of talking about his time as a prisoner was enough to cause his hands to tremble, how the hell was he actually gonna be able to talk about it?

The apprehension and fear was written all over Clays face. "Hey, look at me. I know you don't want to do this and you're not ready to talk about it, but he'll start slow. The first few sessions won't even bring it up, you'll just be getting to know each other to build the trust."

Clay then looks up to Jason then over to Ray. "The quicker you get ahead of this thing, the quicker you can start moving forward."

He knew Ray had a point, but it was still one of those 'easier said than done' type of situations. For the sake of bringing this conversation to an end though, Clay agreed to it.

"I promise you'll like this guy. I don't know what it is about him, but he's different. In a good way." Jason added.

Ray looked down at his watch then over to Jason. Trent and Brock should be here any minute." He then looked over to Clay. "I think they were planning on stopping by the store to get that soup you liked."

"They don't have to do that. I'm not really all that hungry." Clay answered quietly.

Jason and Ray glanced at each other once again. Clay's appetite had been nearly non-existent for weeks and would have to keep the NG tube in place until it returned. "Well, it'll be here for when you're ready for it." They decided it was a battle for another day. They had already pushed with the therapist, pushing to get him to eat right now would just cause Clay to shut down.

Moments later, Brock and Trent showed up and both were pleasantly surprised to see Clay in a somewhat decent mood. Jason and Ray brought them up to speed on everything that went on throughout the day, starting with Blackburn and then said their goodbyes.

On the way down to the parking lot, Ray turned to Jason and said "I feel like he made a lot of progress today. It was nice to see a glimpse of the old Clay in there, like maybe he hasn't completely changed."

"It was definitely a good day. We just need to keep that progress going moving forward and hope there's not too many setbacks." Jason added.

"He'll be ok. We won't accept anything else. Hey, you and Natalie want to come for dinner? I think Naima was making a big thing of spaghetti."

"Oh man! That's tempting, but I think I'm gonna have to take a rain check though. I got somewhere I need to go, but we'll talk tomorrow. Tell Naima and the kids I said hi." Jason said as they parted ways and each headed to their own vehicles.

/

Jason pulled into the parking lot and then made his way up the stairs of the apartment complex. Once he made it to the apartment, he began knocking. He wasn't surprised when Lisa answered the doors. Her and Sonny had come out as a couple a few months back and ever since Clay was found, Lisa has been staying at Sonny's more often to help him deal with the guilt.

"Jason. Hey. Come on in." Lisa smiled as she opened the door more for him.

"Sonny home?" He asked.

"Yeah, he's just finishing up in the shower. Everything ok?" She asked. Jason didn't typically show up out of the blue.

"Uhh, actually yeah. Everything good. I just needed to talk to Sonny real quick. Figured I'd just stop by on my way home from the hospital.

Lisa winced a bit. She went to visit Clay two days ago on her way home from base and he was a lot moodier than usual. "How'd that go?" She almost regretting asking the second she asked.

Jason rubbed his chin and was about to answer when Sonny walked in wrapped in a towel. "Jace. Hey. What's up?"

"Just came by to talk to you. You got some time?"

"Yeah. Just give me a quick minute to throw some clothes on. "Sonny said as he disappeared back into the bedroom.

Seconds later he was dressed and back in the dining room where Jason and Lisa were at the table drinking a beer. Sonny grabbed a beer for himself and then joined them at the table.

"Should I go?" Lisa asked.

"Nah. You're good to stay if you want." Jason said.

Sonny was thankful. If Lisa could stay then that meant whatever Jason wanted to talk to him about wasn't going to be terrible.

"You been by to see Clay lately?" Jason asked.

Sonny took a swig of his beer then put it down on the table. "Jace. I can't… I can't see him like that. SO miserable and in pain, knowing it's because we thought he was dead."

"I get that. I do, but he was your best friend." Jason stated.

"He still is. Always will be." Sonny corrected him.

Jason nodded. "You know, if you would stop in from time to time, you'd know he was improving quite a bit."

Sonny perked up a little hearing that Clay was improving. "Improving how?" There're so many different ways he could be improving.

"Blackburn was with him this morning, said Clay finally asked the question we've all been dreading." Jason trailed off.

"How'd that go? Did he give him an answer?"

"He told him the truth, that we weren't even looking for him because we thought he was. You wanna know how he responded? He was understandable upset, but he was more relieved than anything that we weren't dead like Khmer tried to convince him.

Sonny let out a nervous laugh. "That sounds about right. Even laying in a hospital bed, he's worried about everyone else."

"That's not the only question he asked." Jason added as he and Sonny made eye contact.

Sonny nervously looked over to Lisa then back to Jason. "What else did he ask?"

"Well, he asked if Vic was the guy we replaced him with." Jason paused as Sonny began to fidget a little. "Then asked if you were ok because he's seen the new guy more than his best friend."

Sonny rubbed his face in his hands. "He's been so out of it. I didn't think he would even notice." Sonny admitted.

"He may have been drugged to the high heavens, but he still noticed things. I guess my question is, how are you going to fix this?"

Sonny once again made eye contact with Jason. "I'll go see him." His voice didn't sound so convincing.

Jason glared at Sonny until he spoke up again.

"I'll go first thing in the morning. I promise." Sonny added.

"I'll even go with him to make sure he actually does it." Lisa jumped in.

"No. I need to do this on my own. I mean you can come, but I need to talk to him one on one." Sonny replied quickly, glad to see the satisfied look on his boss's face.

He's been wanting to go visit Clay since they brought him back stateside, had even driven to the hospital a few times, but never made it out of his truck. He just couldn't stomach seeing Clay so physically and mentally broken knowing there was nothing he could do to help. Now that he knew that Clay knew the truth, he felt relieved that he wouldn't be the one who would have to tell him.

**Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I'll try to get the next one posted shortly. Oh and Happy New Year!**


	15. Chapter 15

Sonny pulled into the hospital parking lot at 9:23 am the following morning. It wasn't until almost 10:00 that he actually made it out of his truck. He paced outside Clays room, rubbing his sweaty hands on his pant legs. "Come on Sonny, you can do this. Why are you so nervous? He's your best friend." He kept repeating to himself. After a few more minutes, he finally took a deep breath and entered Clays room.

Blackburn looked up as Sonny walked in, surprise written all over his face. "Sonny. Hey."

"Hey Blackburn. How's uh, how's he doing? Jace said he was doing better."

Eric looked over to a sleeping Clay then back over to Sonny. "Yesterday was pretty eventful for him. It was the first time he was awake for the entire day without ignoring everyone or giving a snarky attitude. He actually started to open up a bit too. Not a lot, but it was a start." Eric filled Sonny in.

"Good. That's real good. How long you think until he wakes up?" Sonny asked.

Blackburn shrugged. "Could be a bit. He uh, had a pretty rough night."

"Rough how?" Sonny asked concerned.

"He refused to take the heavy pain meds last night that have been helping him sleep. Between the pain and the nightmares, he didn't get much sleep. The nurses finally forced him to take the pain meds around 5:00 this morning."

Sonny ran a hand through his hair. "Can't catch a break, can he?" Sonny mumbled to himself. "You mind if I sit with him for a bit? Just the two of us?"

Blackburn lifted both eye brows, not expecting that from Sonny. They had been back stateside for a couple weeks and up until now, he had only seen Sonny at the hospital two other times. Rather than making a big deal out if though, Blackburn stood up, grabbed his paperwork and headed towards the door. "I'll be in the cafeteria trying to get some work done if you need me." Eric said.

Sonny nodded his head than eased himself into the chair next to Clay that Blackburn just vacated. As he sat there waiting for Clay to wake up, he studied every visible part of Clay. Aside from a few new scars on his face and arms and being less muscular and needing to put some weight back on, Clay still looked like Clay. That's something Sonny was grateful for. He knew underneath Clay's hospital gown and blankets there were a lot more scars and injuries, specifically on his back, but he was almost grateful that he couldn't see them right now.

After an hour went by with no signs of Clay waking up, Sonny started getting antsy. Every part of him wanted to wake Clay up, but he knew he knew that wouldn't be a good idea_. 'The pain meds should wear off soon enough.'_ He kept telling himself as he continuously got up, walked around the room and then sat back down.

Once another hour went by, Sonny started trying to come up with ways to accidentally on-purpose wake Clay up. He came up with a bunch of different ways, but when it came down to it, he didn't have the heart to follow through with any of them. Instead, after what felt like his 20th lap around the room, he plopped back down in his chair with a sigh and leaned his head back, staring at the ceiling. When he looked back down at Clay, he was surprised to see Clay staring back at him.

Sonny didn't know what to say, so he resorted to what he does best. "About damn time sleeping beauty. I was beginning to think you were gonna sleep all day." He let out a nervous chuckle.

Clay didn't respond, instead he just continued to look at Sonny.

Sonny tried to read the expression on Clay's face, but wasn't able to tell if it was pain, annoyance, confusion or maybe a combination of all three.

"Sorry." Sonny said quietly, not exactly sure if he was apologizing for the way he greeted Clay or if it was for taking so long to visit.

"I was wondering how long it would take you to show up. Thought maybe something happened." Clay finally broke his silence.

For once in his life, Sonny didn't a comeback. He didn't know how to respond to Clay. "I.. I'm Sorry." Was all he could come up with.

There was a brief moment of an almost awkward silence between the two before Sonny knew it was up to him to speak up again. "Look Clay, when we lost you, it broke me. Like really broke me. And then finding out you've been alive after all this time going through god only knows what, I didn't know how to process that. I've driven to this damn hospital more times than I can count, but I've never been able to make it out of the lobby." He paused before continuing. "Seeing you in such rough shape, I couldn't do it. Not without feeling guilty as hell."

"Don't." Clay interrupted.

Sonny looked at him a bit confused.

"Don't blame yourself. Please don't blame yourself." Clay was practically begging. "If anything kept me alive over there, it was knowing you guys would come for me if you could, I just had to stay alive long enough for you to do that."

Sonny shook his head, looking away and trying to fight back tears.

Clay took a deep breath and then continued. "I lost track of time over there pretty quick. Had no idea it had even been that long until Khmer told me at the one-year mark." Clay noticed the wince on Sonny's face as he mentioned the year mark. "You know, I wasn't there the whole time. I got away. Was found by some village people somewhere in the jungle. They helped me out a lot, gave me time to heal from some of my injuries and beat the nasty infection I was fighting. I was there quite a while before Khmer and his people found me again."

Sonny's eyes darted back to Clay at that revelation. As he fumbled with a response, one of Clay's nurses walked. "Good morning gentlemen." She smiled. "How are we feeling today?" She directed the question towards Clay.

Clay shrugged. "Getting there." Was the only response he offered. He would never admit that he was still hurting pretty bad, especially not in front of Sonny.

She smiled again. "Good to hear. Now, I know it's your favorite part of the week." She said sarcastically. "But it's time to clean your back. Would you like your friend to step into the hallway until we're finished?"

Clay hesitated, looked at Sonny, then back to the nurse. Shaking his head, he said "No, he can stay."

Sonny was glad to hear Clay was going to let him stay, although he wasn't entirely sure if he was ready to see the worst of Clay's injuries.

The nurse slapped on a pair of sterile gloves then carefully helped Clay sit up and slide his legs over the side of the bed. Sonny couldn't help but notice the strong wince on Clay's face as he moved. She then placed a waterproof mat down to keep the bed dry and untied the back of Clays gown. As the gown fell, Sonny gave a wince of his own.

Clay's back looked a lot worse than he had expected. It had been a little over a month since they had found and rescued him, but due to how deep the whip cut through, the marks on his back were still clear as day. The stitches were mostly gone, only a few remained in the areas that were the deepest. Aside from the heavy scabbing, slight leakage and redness, Sonny noticed the scars from the older whippings. He started getting lost in his thoughts and felt a whole new level of guilt start to surface when a slight whimper escaped Clay's lips when the nurse gently tapped one of the more sensitive spots on his back.

Seeing Clay's eyes clenched shut from the pain, Sonny went and sat in front of him, putting his hands on his knees. "Clay, look at me." He said gently. When Clay's eyes didn't open, he tried again. "Come on Clay."

Clay finally unclenched his eyes and found Sonny's eyes. "There you go. Now just keep gazing at my dashingly good looks and wishing you had half the good look that I was blessed with."

Sonny was pleased with himself when he got a slight smirk and head shake out of Clay. "You know, your bedside manner still sucks even after all this time." Clay informed him.

The two bantered back and forth for the next couple minutes until the nurse finished cleaning and redressing his back. Completely spent, Clay was relieved when she gently lowered him back down and gave him a dose of much needed pain meds even though he didn't ask for it.

Before he knew it, he was fighting to keep his eyes open. Before letting his eyelids close completely, he turned towards Sonny and apologized. "Sorry to cut our little chat short."

"No apologies necessary. Get some sleep. I promise I'll be here when you wake up." Sonny assured Clay. Now that he has finally seen and cleared the air with Clay, he was gonna be there for him as much as he possibly could.


	16. Chapter 16

Over the next few weeks, despite his lack of mental healing, Clay continued to physically heal. There were still plenty of moments throughout the days where the pain would grow intense, but the doctors had him on a strict recovery schedule which was helping him manage the pain. The casts on his foot and hand had been removed and replaced with a walking boot and brace, which allowed him to walk short distances on his own.

One week shy of the two-month mark, Clays doctors started bringing up the topic of him being discharged from the hospital. Of course, there were strict rules that needed to be followed once he was released. Clay was given a brief overview of the rules but Naima and one of the other nurses sat down with Bravo to give them a more thorough outline of the rules.

The first, and most important, was that he could not go home alone. Fortunately, Clay no longer had his own home, which he still hasn't been told about, so he was going home with one of them anyway.

The second was that he had to talk to someone, anyone. They didn't care if that someone happened to have four legs and a tail. The longer he held it in, the longer it would take for him to start healing mentally. His nightmares had become a nightly event and the best way to try to help with that was to talk.

The third, and the one everyone knew was going to be the hardest, was making sure he ate. A large part of his diet while he was being held captive was rice, soups and broths, and the occasional fruit and vegetable. His stomach couldn't tolerate much else at the moment. The first few things the doctors had tried to reintroduce were thrown right back up, making Clay weary of trying anything else. He hated that he needed the NG tube and wanted more than anything for it to be removed. Once he realized the only way for that to happen was to actually eat, he started forcing himself to try different foods.

A nutritionist was brought in and they managed to find a few things Clay's stomach was able to tolerate and then they were able to build on and make a plan going forward. He couldn't eat much when he did eat, but at least it was a start and the doctors seemed satisfied with the fact that he was at least trying.

After another two weeks had gone by, the doctors were satisfied enough with Clay's eating to remove the NG tube. Once that was gone, he really started pushing the topic of going home. He's been in the hospital just over two months and 'away' for over a year. All he wanted was to return to his normal life and he felt the best way to try to do that was going home.

When the doctors finally gave him a discharge date, he was over the moon excited.

Sonny, Ray and Jason walked into his room to see Clay in a mood they haven't seen in a while; happy. "Look who's finally coming out of his funk!" Sonny joked.

Trent, Brock and Clay all gave Sonny a slight chuckle. "He's got a good reason to be happy." Brock said.

They all then looked to Clay waiting for him to spill the news.

"Doctors said as long as everything stays on track that I get to go home on Tuesday." Clay's smile went ear to ear, but kinda faded when he didn't get the reaction he expected from Jason, Ray and Sonny.

They were clearly excited for him, but the way they all looked at each other without really saying anything made him wonder what they weren't telling him. Fortunately he didn't have to wait long to find out.

Jason pulled up a chair and sat next to Trent on the right side of Clay's bed while the other two did the same on the other side. "Clay, we need to talk about." He wished they had brought it up sooner, but they thought they had a little more time.

"What? You don't think I'm ready?" Clay asked, slightly annoyed that he thought they didn't think he was ready to leave the hospital.

"No, it's not that." Jason paused. "Look Clay, you don't have a home to go back to." He decided ripping the band-aid off was a lot better than dancing around the truth.

Clay's good mood was instantly gone. He's been so focused on everything else that he didn't even acknowledge the fact that he was considered dead for the last year which most likely meant he had nothing outside of the hospital.

"But we've been talking and we think it would be a good idea for you to stay at Jason's until we can find you a place. You can stay in Mikey's room." Ray jumped in.

Clay just shrugged his shoulders and mumbled. "Not like I have much of a choice, do I?"

"Come on Clay, you knew you couldn't go home alone anyways. What were you expecting?" Sonny added.

"I was kinda expecting you were just gonna crash on my couch for a few weeks like you usually do." Clay answered quickly.

"Listen Clay." Trent spoke up. "It's only temporary. We've been looking real hard to try to find you a new place. Davis even went to check a few places out. As soon as we get you a place, we'll get you all moved in and if you still need assistance, I'm sure Sonny would be more than willing to temporarily move in with you."

Clay rolled his eyes and then looked at Jason, completely ignoring Trent. "What about Emma and Mikey?"

"What about them? They're both eager to see you."

"I don't know. I don't want to kick Mikey out of his room and but I also don't want to be keeping him up all night with the nightmares I've been having."

"Mikey and Emma are both away at school. Emma's up in New York and Mikey's at a hockey school up near my mom." Jason informed him. "Emma will be home in about a month for her winter break and she can't wait to see you."

"I can't wait to see her either." Clay smiled hearing Emma was excited to see him. He really missed Jason's kids when he was gone. He then turned to Ray, missing his kids just as much. "How are your two? Bet they're getting big, huh?"

Ray laughed. "You have no idea. I think Jameelah is convinced she's a teenager now and RJ is running around all over the place."

"I can only imagine. I can't wait to see them." Talking about his brothers' families, that had also become his family, definitely cheered Clay back up.

"I'm sure they can't wait either." Ray paused. "We haven't actually told them about you yet. RJ's too little to understand, but Jameelah, she was a wreck when we lost you. We don't want to tell her until she's able to visit you. The hospital said she was too young for this division of the hospital. Naima even tried to convince them to let her. They wouldn't budge. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry man. As much as I want to see them, I wouldn't want them to see me like this anyway." If he was being honest with himself, he hated that anyone had seen him this way, but he knew it was the way it had to be.

/

Tuesday finally rolled around and Clay was more than ready to get out of the hospital. Jason had shown up extra early with the hopes of getting Clay discharged early. Unfortunately, the hospital staff were dragging their feet and he didn't get discharged until lunch time.

Jason helped him into his truck, noticing the slight wince on Clay's face as he leaned back. "You good?"

"Yeah, back's still pretty sore. The doctor said it probably would be for a while because of how deep some of the lashes were, but I'm good." Clay admitted quietly.

Jason nodded. He knew of others who had been whipped less than Clay who suffered the effects for months so he had no doubts in his mind that Clay was still hurting. Rather than focusing on the pain though, Jason looked at the clock in his truck then over to Clay and took a chance. "It's about time for lunch. What do you feel like?"

Clay just looked over at Jason, trying to figure out how to answer. "Jace, honestly, I just want to get back to your house and lay down for a bit, I promise I'll eat something later." He hoped like hell Jason accept it.

"There were conditions that you agreed to in order to be discharged Clay." Jason started to argue, but decided to take a different approach when he looked over at Clay and saw him blankly staring out the passenger side window. "When was the last time you ate?"

"This morning." Clay answered quickly. "About an hour before you got there."

"What did you have?"

"Eggs."

"How many?" When Clay didn't answer, he asked again. "How many?'

"One." Clay answered quietly.

Jason leaned his head back on his seat and shut his eyes. After taking a deep breath he returned his gaze to Clay. "Fine. I wont force you to eat right now, but you have to promise me you'll eat dinner. Deal?"

"Deal. I promise." Clay was thankful to be able to just go to Jason's and lay down.

The remainder of the ride to Jason's was quiet until Jason made a left hand turn instead of a right? Clay quickly looked at Jason and silently questioned where he was going.

"I had to sell the house to help pay all the school fees for Emma and Mikey. I'm renting a house closer to base for now."

"You sold the house?" Clay never thought Jason would sell that house after losing Alana.

"Yeah. Too many memories in it that were keeping me from really moving on. Plus, I needed the money if Emma and Mikey were both going away to school." Before Jason could even finish his sentence, he pulled into his driveway.

Clay was impressed. Jason's new house was bigger than the old one. "It's nice man. I like it."

Jason jumped out of the driver's seat and jogged over to the passenger side to help Clay out. "Wait till you see the inside." He smiled.

They slowly made their way inside and Clay looked around from the doorway. "Ready for the tour?"

"Actually, I'd rather lay down for a bit first if that's ok."

"Of course. Follow me. I'll show you where Emma's room is." Jason replied.

Clay sighed. He felt a little weird staying in Emma's room, almost as if he was intruding.

It was almost like Jason was reading Clay's mind because as Clay started to follow behind Jason said "Don't worry. It's more of a guest room than Emma's room. She took most of her stuff with her. She hasn't even slept in there yet."

Emma's room was in the middle of the hallway, conveniently located between the bathroom and living room.

"Here you go." Jason entered the room showing Clay where everything was.

Clay was surprised by the room. It wasn't anything like he expected compared to Emma's old room. There was a single bed in the middle of the room, with neutral colored bedding and surrounded by two nightstands, a tall dresser and a TV. It had only been slightly 'personalized' to Emma with a couple pictures that she had left behind.

"The remote for the TV is right there." Jason pointed to the remote on the left nightstand. "There's more blankets in the closet if you get cold or a remote for the fan if you get hot. I'll bring you a bottle of water in case you get thirsty. Need anything else?" Jason asked.

Clay shook his head. "I think I'm good. Just pretty tired." He eased him self down on the bed as Jason went to get him a bottle of water. Before he laid down, he noticed the framed picture on the nightstand. It was a picture of Bravo from Clay's first deployment with the team. Everyone was all smiles. It made Clay miss the way things were in that picture.

Jason walked in and seen him holding the photo. "Emma loves that picture. Says most of her favorite people are in it." Jason smiled.

Clay smiled back, putting the frame down and then taking the bottle of water from Jason.

"I'll be in the living room if you need anything, ok?" Jason told him.

Clay nodded and was pretty sure he was asleep before his head even hit the pillow. He woke up two hours later, feeling a little bit better. He looked at the clock on the dresser and noticed it was almost 5:00, which meant it was time for his pain meds, which he knew before even seeing the time. He winced as he stood up and then set out to find Jason. He slowly made his way into the kitchen where he was surprised to see Sonny and Jason sitting at the table drinking a beer.

"Well if it ain't sleeping beauty." Sonny chuckled, bringing smiles to both Jason and Clay's face.

Clay made his way to the table, easing himself down into an empty chair. Jason and Sonny both noticed the wince that Clay clearly tried to hide.

"You ready for your meds?" Jason asked.

"More than ready." Clay replied as Jason stood up to grab two of the many bottles of medication Clay was sent home with.

"You know you need to eat with these right?" Jason reminded him.

Clay just nodded. "You have any soup?"

"Sonny brought some over with him. I'll heat you up a bowl." Jason said as he stood up to heat Clay up a bowl.

When Jason returned, he placed the heated bowl of soup and Clays pain meds in front of Clay and watched as Clay just stared at the bowl.

"It ain't gonna eat itself, you know." Sonny told him.

"I know that Sonny!" Clay snapped back a little harder than he intended to. "I just need a minute." He was fully expecting Jason and Sonny to keep nagging on him until he started eating, but was pleasantly surprised when they dropped the subject and just started shooting the shit.

Clay took his meds and then spent the next 45 minutes forcing spoonful's of soup down his throat, turning down every offer to reheat it. When it was a little more than halfway gone, he pushed the bowl away from him and then waited to see how Sonny and Jason would react to him not finishing it.

"That all you gonna eat?" Jason asked.

"That's all I can eat." Clay answered as he watched Jason place the bowl in the sink.

Jason was satisfied with how much Clay had actually eaten. He had purposely put the soup in a larger bowl, knowing he wasn't going to finish it and was almost impressed with how much Clay finished.

"Thank you." Clay mumbled, looking down at the table, as Jason sat back down.

"For what?" Both Jason and Sonny asked.

"Not forcing me to finish it." Clay said. "I'm sorry. I promise I ate as much as I could."

Jason and Sonny looked at each other. They hated the way Clay felt like he had to explain himself and the sad puppy dog look on his face topped with the brokenness of his voice nearly broke their hearts.

"Don't apologize Clay. That was a pretty big bowl. Honestly, you ate more than I expected you to." Jason informed him.

Clay nodded and Jason and Sonny could both tell he had something on his mind.

"What is it Clay?" Sonny finally asked.

Clay took a deep breath and shrugged. "I don't know. It's just- When I was over there all I could think about was coming home and eating a big, juicy steak. Now I can't even finish a bowl of soup without feeling sick."

"Do you feel like you're gonna be sick now? I can get you a trashcan or something." Jason asked.

"I don't need one. I always feel like I'm gonna be sick when I eat. It's why I don't like eating." Clay admitted.

"We get that Clay. We do. That's why we don't force you. We knew you were gonna eat the soup when you were ready. And I know it sucks right now, but it will get better. And when you're finally up for it, I will buy you the biggest, juiciest steak we can find." Sonny promised.

"Might be waiting a while." Clay yawned.

"That's alright. We got all the time in the world blondie." Sonny assured him.

"Meds kickin in?" Jason asked, noticing Clay's yawn and heavy eyes.

"Yeah." Clay responded.

"Want to head back up to bed?" Jason asked.

"Not really. I'll be ok for a bit longer."

"Me and Sonny were gonna light the fire pit and have a few more beers. You up for joining or would you like me to put the tv on and set you up for the couch?"

"Fire pit sounds nice."

"Fire pit it is then." Sonny said as they made their way out the back door.

Within the hour, Clay was passed out.

"Should we wake him up or let him sleep for a bit?" Sonny asked.

"He's gonna be sore as hell if we let him stay like that for too long. I think he's already sore enough as it is. Might as well wake him up now, bring him to bed, it's getting kinda late anyway." Jason told him.

Sonny doused the fire while Jason gently woke Clay up and helped him up to his bedroom. Once he got him all settled in, he went back out to the kitchen where Sonny was cleaning up and started helping him.

"You think he's gonna be ok tonight Jace? I can sleep on the couch or in Mikey's bed?"

"You hate Mikey's bed." Jason responded, knowing if he was willing to sleep in Mikey's bed, which only had a top bunk, then Sonny really must want to stay. He couldn't blame him. Clay was Sonny's best friend. "I'll grab you some blankets, you can stay on the couch if you'd like."

Sonny smiled. He wanted to be as close to Clay as possible whenever he could.

Little did Jason know just how glad he was gonna be that he let Sonny spend the night after the night that Clay had.

**Sorry it took so long to update. I do have part of the next chapter already written so hopefully it doesn't take too long to post the next chapter. As always, That's for all the reviews. They definitely help motivate me to keep writing :).**


	17. Chapter 17

Sonny and Jason were both woken out of a light sleep by the sounds of yells and cries coming from Clay's room. They flew in the room as fast as they could to find him tossing and turning around in his bed.

Another nightmare. Except this one was much worse than any of the ones he had while still in the hospital. "He's getting worse." Sonny stated.

"Maybe. Or maybe it's because he's on lower doses of his meds. Naima did say this was a possibility. Either way, we gotta get him to open up and talk sooner rather than later." Jason never took his eyes off of a restless Clay while speaking to Sonny. "We gotta try to wake him up."

First, they tried waking him from a distance by calling his name and tapping his feet, not wanting to get too close in case he lashed out and woke up swinging. When that didn't work, they both took a side of the bed, grabbed an arm and started nudging and calling him until he finally shot up to a sitting position, fighting their grasps on his arms.

"Easy Clay! Easy!" Jason was trying to calm him down. "It's just us. Jason and Sonny. You're safe. Just relax."

It took a minute, but Clay eventually calmed down and relaxed, wincing as he dropped back a little too hard on his back. "I'm sorry." He kept repeating as he tried to get his heart to quit racing and breathing to slow down.

"It's ok, Clay. I'm gonna go grab you some meds." Jason said as he left the room to go grab some of the sleep meds Naima slipped him incase Clay had problems sleeping. He returned with the pill and a bottle of water almost as quick as he left and watched as Clay swallowed the pill.

Clay rolled over to his side to take some of the pressure off his back after taking the pill and was out cold almost immediately.

"Damn. What the hell did you give him?" Sonny asked.

"Just a light sedative Naima said would knock him out. It should hopefully help with the nightmares so we can all attempt to get some sleep." Jason paused. "I'm gonna call my therapist first thing in the morning and try to get him here in the next couple days. He's been eager to talk to Clay, but I wanted to try to give him some time to get settled in, but I think the quicker we jump on this the better."

"Good call. Why don't you head back to bed? I'm gonna go grab my blanket and pillows and sleep on the floor in here just incase it happens again, try to catch it early before he gets sucked too far into the dream." Sonny patted Jason on the shoulder on his way to grab his things and watched as Jason returned to his bedroom, leaving the door open.

Sonny laid his pillows on the floor next to the bed and then laid awake for the next hour or so just watching Clay and listening to his quiet, even breaths until he finally drifted off.

A light knock at the front door the next morning, woke Sonny up. He was completely exhausted. Clay had three more nightmares throughout the night. Thankfully none were as bad as the first one since Sonny had been able to catch them early, so he felt no need to wake Jason up for his help. Clay did manage to get a good hit in at one point which Sonny was sure would leave a mark though.

Looking at the clock, Sonny realized it was just after 8:30, which meant he probably only got a total of 4 hours of sleep, give or take. Each time Clay's nightmares woke him up, he would stay awake just watching Clay until he would fall asleep again.

When he heard another light knock, he wondered if he should get up to see who was at the door, but thankfully he heard Jason making his way to the front door.

"Lisa. Hey. Come in?" Jason said as he answered the door.

Hearing Lisa was at the door was enough to cox Sonny out to the kitchen. "Well, well, well. If it isn't miss Davis. TO what do we owe the please?" Sonny yawned.

Lisa and Jason both just stared at Sonny. "What the hell happened to you?"

"What do you- oh, you mean this?" Sonny pointed to what he assumed was a black eye. "Pretty boy might've lost a bunch of weight and muscle, but damn does he still pack a punch." He laughed nervously.

"He hit you?" Lisa sounded shocked.

"Yeah." Sonny chuckled. "Not intentionally though."

"He have another nightmare last night?" Jason asked.

Sonny shrugged his shoulders a bit and nodded. "Three to be exact."

"Three?!" Jason was surprised he didn't hear any of it. "Why didn't you wake me to help?"

"Figured at least one of us should be able to get some sleep. Besides, I caught them early so they weren't nearly as bad as the first one." Sonny admitted.

"Not that bad?" Lisa rose her eyebrows. "Sonny, you have a black eye that says otherwise."

"That was my fault. Got a little too close without grabbing his arms first. It's fine though. Doesn't even really hurt all that bad. Anyway…" Sonny paused. "What brings you here so early?" He was trying his best to deflect the attention from the black eye to something else, and was thankful when it seemed to work.

"Brought Clay some of his old clothes that we all kept and a bunch of new ones. Figured he wouldn't fit into much of his old stuff yet, so I ran out and bought him a few things."

"I'm sure he'll appreciate it. I never even thought of him not having anything to change into." Jason hated to admit.

"Don't worry about it Jace. You've had a lot on your plate lately. Besides, it's kinda my job to think of these things." Lisa smiled, letting him know he was off the hook on this one.

"Thank you, Davis." Jason hugged her. "I was just about to make breakfast when you knocked, you wanna stay a bit?"

"Thanks, but I actually have somewhere I need to be. I just wanted to drop that box off for Clay real quick." Lisa then said her goodbyes to Sonny and Jason and headed out the door.

Jason moved the box of clothes from the kitchen table to the edge of the couch once Lisa was gone, then returned to the kitchen and sat across from Sonny. "You look exhausted."

"I am, but I'll nap later. You mind if I take a quick shower?" Sonny asked.

Jason took the fact that Sonny asked to shower at his house as a sign that he had no intentions of going anywhere anytime soon. "Yeah, go ahead. Use my shower in case he wakes up and needs to go."

'Thanks." Sonny grabbed his duffel bag that he had brought over that had enough clothes for a couple days and disappeared into Jason's room while Jason started breakfast.

Moments later he heard feet shuffling and noticed Clay stiffly making his way into the kitchen looking twice as tired as Sonny and a little pale which worried Jason. "Morning. You feeling ok?"

Clay slowly lowered himself into a chair and then looked up with an unreadable expression on his face. Instead of verbally answering he just shook his head no.

"What do you need?" Jason made his way over to the med bag waiting for Clay to answer.

"A time machine?" Clay answered sarcastically.

As serious as Jason knew Clay was being, it was nice to see a glimpse of the old sarcastic Clay. "I wish that was possible, Clay. I really do. You ready for your meds?"

Clay nodded and waited for Jason to grab his meds for him.

"What do want with them? Eggs? Toast? Maybe try a pancake?" Jason offered. He would make whatever the kid said he wanted ass long as he would eat something.

"Can I say nothing?" Clay knew the answer before he even asked but figured it was worth a try.

"You know you have to eat with the pain meds, so what'll it be?"

Clay sighed. "Eggs are fine." Even though they really weren't. He was tired of eggs, but they were one of the few foods he knew his stomach could tolerate and was still weary of trying new things.

"You sure? Want to try a pancake? I can make you a small one?"

Clay thought about it. Pancakes did sound good.

Jason seemed to notice the contemplation in Clay. "I'll tell you what. I'll make you both. How's that sound?"

"That's fine." Clay sighed as he grabbed the pain meds and took them. When he looked back up, he noticed Sonny making his way into the kitchen and immediately drew his attention to his black eye. "I do that?" He pointed towards Sonny's eye, remembering that Sonny had spent the night in his room.

Sonny looked over to Jason, hoping he would somehow answer for him. Sonny knew that Clay knew it was from him, but he didn't know how to tell him without making him feel guilty. "It was my fault, Clay." He hoped the answer would be good enough, but of course, Clay didn't just let it go.

"So I did do it?"

"Yeah Clay, you did, but like I said, it was my fault. I knew better than to approach you the way I did, but I did it anyhow. Didn't even hurt that bad." Sonny could see the guilt forming on Clay's face and looked to Jason again hoping he would throw some kind of lifeline his way.

As if on que, Jason places a plate of eggs and one small pancake in front of Clay. All three men stared at the plate. There wasn't much, but to Clay it looked like a thanksgiving feast. He felt his stomach turning at the thought of trying something new, but the pancake looked really good and they were always one of his favorites so he picked it up with his fingers, pulled a piece off and stuck it in his mouth.

Sonny and Jason both just watched, waiting to see what kind of reaction was going to follow. When Clay broke off another piece, they both formed a small smile. "Looks like we can add another thing to the list."

Clay just smiled and nodded as he finished the pancake.

"Want me to make you another one?" Jason asked.

"I'm good. I'm gonna have a few bites of egg then head up and take a shower if that's ok?"

Jason and Sonny were both impressed he was gonna eat the egg. They assumed he'd be done after the pancake, but they both refused to say anything, not wanting Clay to stop eating. "That works for us."

Once Clay was finished, he thanked Jason and then headed towards the bathroom. Almost 25 minutes later, he made his way back out to the kitchen, wrapped in just a towel around his waist. "Gonna go out on a limb and guess that I don't have any clothes to change into so do you have anything I could borrow?" His tone was a little snarkier than he had meant for it to, but having literally nothing was more frustrating than anything.

Jason and Sonny were both so wrapped up in Clay's breakfast that they didn't even think to tell Clay about the box Lisa dropped off earlier. "Actually, Lisa dropped off a box of stuff for you earlier this morning. I'll carry it up to the room for you." Jason said.

Jason carried the box to the room and dropped it on the bed for Clay, then made his way back to the kitchen so finish the rest of his breakfast.

Clay opened the box and started going through some of the things in it, surprised to find both some of his old favorite shirts along with a bunch of new ones that still had the tags on it. After going through a good amount of it, he settled on one of the newer shirts that would actually fit him and a pair of sweatpants then headed to the bathroom for a much-needed shower.

Once he was finished, he headed back out to the kitchen to rejoin Sonny and Jason who were still seated at the kitchen table. "There uh, there was quite a bit of some of my old favorite shirts in that box."

Sonny and Jason both looked at each other then back over to Clay. "We all kept some of your stuff when we cleaned your apartment out. Anything that looked important or that we knew had some sort of meaning to you, we kept, but don't worry, you'll get it all back once we get you a new place." Jason informed him.

Clay nodded and Jason and Sonny could tell there was something he wanted to say, but seemed to be hesitating. Finally, Clay found his words and spoke up. "How long?"

"How long? How long what?" Jason asked, knowing it Clay question could be referring to multiple different things.

"How long was I gone? I know it was at least a year but how long exactly?" Clay was fidgety with his fingers and refused to make eye contact.

"Almost 14 months." Jason answered reluctantly.

Clay nodded, taking the information in.

"You want to talk about it?" Jason decided to take the chance to see if Clay would start to open up a little more.

"What's there to talk about? They captured me, beat me, tortured me, worked me, then you found me." He shrugged his shoulders not sure yet about how much he was ready to reveal.

It was nothing Jason and Sonny didn't already know, but the fact that Clay initiated the conversation was a positive step forward to them. "You know you can talk to us about it right?" Sonny wanted to make sure it was clear that if Clay ever needed to get something off his chest that they would be there for him in a heartbeat.

"I know. There's just not too much to talk about." Clay looked away, starting to regret bringing the topic up.

Before Sonny or Jason had a chance to respond, Clay stood up and made his way over to the couch to lay down. He's already done more this morning than he's done in weeks and it was starting to catch up to him, both physically and mentally.

Jason and Sonny decided to drop the topic for now, not wanting to push too hard too soon, but also because they could see how exhausted Clay looked.

Jason walked to the hallway closet and grabbed a blanket, then walked over to an already sleeping Clay and covered him. Once that was done, he returned to have a conversation with Sonny.

"Why don't you go nap while he's down. You can sleep in his bed since he's in yours." Jason smirked.

Jason could see the hesitation on Sonny's face so decided to try a new approach. "Come on Sonny, he's sleeping, you we're up all night and look like shit. I'm gonna call the therapist and see when the soonest I can get him here is and knowing him, that phone call can last a while. I promise I'll come get you if something happens."

Sonny reluctantly agreed and made his way to the bedroom for a much needed nap, while Jason picked up the phone to call his therapist.


	18. Chapter 18

Sonny made his way back into the living room after his much-needed nap. The first thing he noticed was Clay still asleep on the couch and Jason nowhere to be found. After looking around the house for him, he finally checked the backyard and found him sitting on the patio, talking on the phone.

Jason gave Sonny a head nod acknowledging that he seen him and Sonny took a seat next to him. It didn't take long for Sonny to realize Jason was on the phone with his therapist.

Twenty minutes later, Sonny heard Jason thank the therapist and said he would see him soon.

"Dr. Conners?" Sonny asked.

"Yup. He wants to stop by in like an hour." Jason sounded a little dumbfounded.

"Think Clay's gonna be up for that already?" Sonny asked.

"He's gonna have to be. The sooner we jump on top of this, the quicker we can try to get him back to normal." Jason sighed.

Sonny stayed quiet. He wasn't sure if Clay would ever return to his old self and quite frankly, he wouldn't blame him if he didn't. He just didn't have the heart to break his thoughts to Jason yet.

"He still asleep in there?" Jason asked when Sonny didn't reply.

"Sound asleep." Sonny replied.

"Damn. I hate waking him when he's actually getting a good sleep. God knows he probably needs it." Jason rubbed his face.

"Give him another half hour. Maybe he'll wake up by then and we won't have to wake him." Sonny shrugged.

"Yeah, hopefully."

They sat outside for a few more minutes before heading back inside to get things ready. As they approached the half hour mark, Clay was still showing no signs of nightmares or waking up.

"We could just let him sleep until Dr. Conners gets here?" Sonny suggested.

Jason shook his head. "I wanna give him a heads up before he gets here. Don't want Clay thinking we just sprung it on him."

Sonny agreed in a way, just hated waking the kid up when he was finally getting the rest he needed.

As they walked over to the couch, they realized Clay might not be sleeping as peacefully as they thought. His face was scrunched and he was twitching all over, which helped them both feel less bad about waking him up.

Standing at the foot of the couch Sonny starting calling him. "Clay! Come on Clay, wake up."

When he didn't react to his name being called, Jason starting tapping him on the foot.

The combination of being called and have his foot constantly tapped finally brought Clay around, but it wasn't as smooth and relaxed as they hoped. Instead, he flew up and pulled himself away as quick as he could which sent pain spiking throughout his still healing injuries.

Once he realized where he was, he leaned his head into his hands and began fighting tears. Losing the fight, with tears beginning to fall, he finally looked over to Sonny and Jason. "I hate this." He sobbed.

"Hate what?" Jason had an idea, but he took this as a chance for Clay to open up a little.

"Everything. Constantly being on edge, not being able to sleep, the pain, needing a babysitter, not having my own place, all of it." Clay no longer held back his tears.

"Look Clay, it's only temporary. It'll all fade with time, you just gotta let someone in. Talk to someone, which actually brings me to the reason we woke you up." Jason trailed off.

Clay looked over at him, trying to compose himself.

"I talked to my therapist, Dr. Conners while you and Sonny napped." Jason looked down at his watch. "He'll be here in about 15 minutes."

Clay froze when Jason mentioned his therapist stopping by. He knew it was coming, just wasn't expecting it to be so soon.

"You think you're up for it?" Sonny asked, which quickly sent Jason glaring at him.

"Not like I have much of choice." Clay snapped.

"It'll be fine Clay. He's not gonna push for details right away. Just wants to get to know you, build the trust up, and then he'll slowly start to dive in. I'm telling you though, he's easy to talk to. I really think you're gonna like this guy." Jason said.

Clay just glared at Jason. He knew there was no point in arguing and that regardless of anything he said, Dr. Conners was still coming.

When he finally heard the doorbell ring, Clay felt his anxiety start to rise. Jason went to answer the door while Sonny approached Clay, putting his hand on his shoulder. "You'll be ok, blondie. We'll be with you every step of the way.

Clay just nodded and took a deep breath, hoping Sonny was right.

When Jason returned to the living room with Dr. Conners, Clay was a little surprised by his appearance. He wasn't at all what Clay was expecting, definitely didn't look like someone Jason would get along with.

Jason introduced them and then they all headed out the back door to the patio table. Jason thought a little fresh air might do Clay some good and help feel more relaxed.

"So, Clay, why don't you tell me a little about yourself?" Dr. Conners asked.

Clay looked to Jason and Sonny before looking at Dr. Conners. "Like what?"

"I don't know. What you like, where you're from, whatever you feel like telling me."

"Don't you already know all that? I'm sure Jason gave you a full run down before you got here." Clay responded resulting in a glare from Jason.

"He's just trying to make small to Clay, try to be a little open minded." Jason said.

Clay rolled his eyes, gave a half-assed apology and then answered the question. "My dad was…is an asshole. My mom I don't really remember. My dad chose his job over being a father so I was sent to live my grandparents in Liberia. As far as what I like? Right now? There's not much. When I'm awake, I'm in constant pain, I have permanent reminders of the torture all over my body. I'm on more medications than I care to be. I can't sleep without reliving the past year and waking up screaming or crying or sweating or punching someone, I have absolutely no appetite, yet all everyone wants me to do is eat. My job, the only thing I have ever wanted to do with my life, I'm pretty sure I'll never be cleared to return, and honestly, I don't even know if I want to. Oh, and I no longer have my own place and all that's left from my life before I was taken is a few t-shirts in a box. So, you tell me, what exactly am I supposed to 'like' about my life right now?" Clay went off, revealing a lot more than he had anticipated.

Jason and Sonny both looked stunned. They knew things were bad in Clay's head, but they didn't realize how bad. Hearing him admit out loud that he wasn't sure if he wanted to return to Bravo was a total kick to the gut. They all had their thoughts about it, but hearing him say it out loud made it real. And it scared the shit out them. They couldn't imagine Bravo without him. Granted, they've done it for the past year, but this was different. For the last year Clay was dead, they didn't have a choice but to go on without him, but now that they had him back, they couldn't imagine ever running missions without him. They would do whatever it took to get Clay back, to fight for him when he refuses to fight for himself, no matter how long it takes.

"That's a lot to deal with alone Clay, but I promise you, if you let me in, I'll have you back with your team within the year. That is, IF you want to return to the team." Dr. Conners made sure to catch Jason's and Sonny's attention with that sentence. He needed them to understand that regardless of the progress he's hoping to make, Clay will still be a different person. You don't go through the kind of trauma he has and come out the same person you were when you went in. Clay had to make the choice to return to Bravo himself. If anyone on Bravo pushed too hard to try to convince him to rejoin them, there's a good chance Clay would start distancing himself. Right now, he needs support with anything and everything, not pressure to be who he used to be.

**Sorry I haven't been able to post as often as I would like to, but I'm trying my best to get these chapters up as quick as I can. The muse has been a little slacker lately, but its starting to pick back up. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'll try extra hard to try to update more often! Oh, and don't forget to wash your hands and hope everyone's staying healthy with all this craziness going on!**


	19. Chapter 19

Jason was sitting alone at his kitchen table, drinking a cup of coffee after a rather exhausting night with Sonny and Clay. Overall, Clay was improving and the nightmares were occurring a lot less thanks to a breakthrough with Dr. Conners two weeks ago. Unfortunately, when the nightmares did occur, they were intense.

Last night just so happened to be the first nightmare in five days. It also happened to be one of the worst. Sonny, who had practically moved in, woke Jason up around 3:00 am needing help. They spent the next few hours trying to calm Clay down and get him back to sleep. Finally, around 6:30, they succeeded.

Sonny passed out on his makeshift bed that he set up next to Clay, not too long after Clay did, leaving Jason awake all alone. He returned to his bed, attempting to fall back asleep, but his mind refused to shut off. Eventually, he gave up and made his way to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee.

He sat there in silence, lost in his thoughts for quite some time. As he was pouring his second cup of coffee, he heard someone unlocking his front door. He looked over at the clock, surprised to see it was 10:30 and then wondered who would possibly be showing up this early without shooting him the usual 'Ok to stop by?' text.

Thankfully, he didn't have to wonder long when he spotted Emma dropping her bags and making her way into the kitchen to greet him. "Hey daddy." She smiled as she hugged him.

"Emma, what are you doing here? I thought you were getting in till Saturday?" Jason replied, pleasantly surprised.

"Uhhh dad? It is Saturday. Winter break has officially started."

"Oh right, Sorry. Must have just lost track of my days." Jason answered.

"You ok? You look exhausted." Emma asked.

"Yeah, just had a rough night with Clay and Sonny last night." Jason replied.

Emma stayed silent for a second. "I thought you said he was doing better?"

"He is. A lot better, but he still has his moments and last night just so happened to be one of them." Jason rubbed his face.

"How bad was it?" Emma asked.

"It was a rough one." Jason paused. "He gets trapped over there from time to time and doesn't believe us when we tell him we're really here. It takes some time for us to convince we're real and then to get him to relax."

"Doesn't believe you're really here?" Emma questioned.

"Yeah. He told Dr. Conners that when things would get really bad over there, that he would have these dreams or hallucinations or something, where he would see us. He said they seemed so real sometimes that he really believed that we were there to save him. When he gets stuck in these nightmares and we wake him up, he's convinced that he still there and we're not real."

"Wow. That's pretty rough. Isn't there anything we can do to help with that?"

"All we can really do is just give him time and hope that he keeps opening up during his therapy sessions." Jason sighed, wishing there was more they could do to help.

"If only getting him to open up wasn't like pulling teeth." Sonny rolled his eyes as he entered the kitchen. "Gotta give Doc Conners credit though. That man can make a carboard box talk."

"Hey Uncle Sonny!" Emma smiled, opening her arms up for a hug.

"Hey kiddo! How's college life treating you? Any guys I need to scare away?" Sonny half joked.

Emma blushed. There were a ton of boys at her school. One she has even gone on a few dates with. She just wasn't quite ready to mention that though. She wanted to have that conversation with just her dad first, so she dodged the question. "College is great. Even better than I could have imagined."

Thankfully she was saved by her dad when he changed the subject. "Clay still asleep?"

Sonny shook his head. "He woke up a few minutes after I did, said he just wanted to lay there for a bit so I decided to give him a few minutes alone."

"He seem ok?" Jason asked.

"I guess. I mean he looked pretty tired still. Wouldn't be surprised if he fell back asleep." Sonny said.

"We'll give him a few more minutes then I'll go check on him. Did you eat yet Emma? I can make breakfast." Jason added.

"Actually, I was kinda hoping we could go out to breakfast. I've been dying for pancakes from mom's favorite diner."

"I don't know Em. I mean, I'd love to, but I don't know if it's such a great idea right now. We all had a pretty rough night and I can't leave Uncle Sonny with Uncle Clay right now."

"Well I was kinda thinking they could come to." Emma shrugged.

"Emma. I don't know if Uncle Clay is ready for that. He's only been out of the house for doctors' appointments." Jason told her.

"Don't know if Uncle Clay is ready for what?" Clay asked as he made his way towards the kitchen table.

Emma froze and immediately felt tears forming in her eyes. There he was. He really was a live after all this time. Her first instinct was to tackle him with a hug and never let go, but she wasn't sure what his physical status was at the moment so she figured that wouldn't be the best idea. Instead, she waited for him to approach her. Once he did, she asked "Can I hug you?"

"I'd be hurt if you didn't." Clay smiled as he opened his arms to hug Emma.

Once Emma was wrapped up in the hug, she never wanted to let go and felt the tears finally start to fall.

Jason got a little teary-eyed as well. He knew Emma and Clay were close. He was more like a big brother than an Uncle to her. He guessed it had to do with Clay being young enough to understand Emma more than the rest of Bravo. She went to Clay for things she couldn't or wouldn't go to the others about. Most of the times it involved boys or parties or some other type of high school drama. No matter what it was, Clay always handled it like a champ. A lot better than Jason or anyone else on Bravo would have. When Jason told Emma Clay was gone, it was the second hardest thing he's ever had to do. Emma was so devastated she even tried to put off school for a semester, which Jason quickly put his foot down to.

Seeing his daughter crying in Clay's arms oddly made him smile. He looked over at Sonny and noticed a smile on his face as well.

When Clay finally broke free from the hug, Emma looked up at him. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too Em. I missed you too. Now, what is 'Uncle Clay not up for?'" Clay asked.

"I was hoping we could all go out to breakfast."

Clay looked over to Jason and Sonny, trying to read their faces, then back over to Emma. "I'd love to Em." He then looked back over to see their reactions. Both of which looked surprise.

"Are you sure Clay? I mean, the only time you've left the house was to go to the doctors." Sonny asked.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I've been going stir crazy in this house. Just assumed asking to go out anywhere wouldn't been shot down." Clay admitted.

"Alright. We'll do it." Jason hesitantly smiled as Emma squealed in excitement. "But you need to make me a promise." He turned to Clay. "If at any point it becomes too much, you need to let me know immediately."

Clay immediately agreed and then they each went their separate ways to quickly get ready before all four of them headed out the door.


	20. Chapter 20

**Hey everyone! Hope you're all doing well and staying safe! Thank you to everyone that's still enjoying this story and leaving comments/ follows/ favorites. They definitely motivate me to keep writing. For those who are still unsure, I just wanted to make one thing clear. This is NOT going to be an Emma/Clay story. To me, they have more of a brother/ sister relationship so that's what I'm going with. Sorry to those who wanted to see them together. Anyway, here's a new chapter! I'm thinking there's going to maybe be two or three more chapters to this story that has become wayyyyy longer than I anticipated, but who knows, it could end up being longer. **

Clay did surprisingly well during breakfast. Although there were a few hairy moments where his anxiety of the crowded restaurant almost got the best of him, for the most part, he acted as if nothing had ever happened. They laughed, joked and caught up some more on the last year. Emma even broke down and nervously mentioned that she was dating a kid from her school named Trevor.

Naturally, all three men immediately starting nailing Emma with questions about Trevor and trying to pry as much information out of her as they can. Eventually, the questions let up and they come to the conclusion that Trevor seems like a decent guy, although they wouldn't give their full blessing until they actually had the chance to meet him.

By the time they got home, Clay was drained and headed straight to the bedroom to take a nap after thanking everyone for breakfast.

As soon as they knew he was asleep, Emma started putting her two cents in. "See. He did fine.

"She's right Jace. He did a lot better than I expected." Sonny added in.

"Yeah. I know." Jason rubbed his face.

"Ever think maybe you guys are holding him back? Keeping him from really moving on?" Emma asked.

"I didn't think we were until today." Jason said as he looked over at Sonny.

"You guys baby him. Always have. He's a grown man. He doesn't need to be babied so much." Emma lectured.

"Uhhh, in our defense… yes he did." Sonny stated trying to defend himself. "You didn't see him when he first came home."

"Sonny's right. He did need it, but you're right too Em. We shoulda stopped being so overbearing a few weeks ago." Jason admitted.

"Great. Glad you agree. So why don't we try to make this a weekly thing until I have to go back to school?" Emma smiled. "Oh, and can we have everyone over for a BBQ tonight?"

"That might be a bit much for one day, princess." Sonny said.

"Sonny's right again. We'll let up on the babying, but we still gotta move slow." Jason knew Emma wanted to see everyone, so in order to avoid the daggers Emma was about to throw he continued. "But maybe tomorrow we can."

Emma thought about it and agreed. "Tomorrow probably works better anyway. Gives us more time to get whatever we need from the store."

"Alright. Tomorrow it is then. I'll let the guys know." Jason informed them.

"Great! Can I invite some of my friends?" Emma asked.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea for tomorrow. Let's keep it just the guys and their families for now. We can do a separate BBQ or something with them on a different day. How's that sound?" Jason bargained.

Emma reluctantly agreed and then headed to the living room to watch a little bit of TV while Jason and Sonny remained in the kitchen planning out the BBQ and inviting the guys.

About an hour later, they heard Clay making his way to the bathroom and into the shower. Once she heard the water turn off, Emma asked Jason if it was ok to jump in his shower, not knowing how long Clay was gonna be in the one she would typically use.

By the time she motivated herself to get up and head to the shower, Clay was already in the bedroom, half dressed. Unfortunately for him, Sonny and Jason used to make him keep the door open in case he needed them so that they could hear him calling and he got so used to it that he doesn't even bother to shut the door anymore.

Emma stopped in her tracks and just stared as she walked by her room, where Clay was standing in the middle of the room with his back turned towards the door, wearing only a pair of gym shorts. For the second time that day, she felt tears forming in her eyes as she caught sight of the nasty looking scars on his back. No one had told her any of the details about Clay's time as a prisoner, but she knew there had to be some sort of scar or something. She just wasn't expecting his entire back to be covered in them.

As Clay turned around, shirt in hand, he nearly jumped out of his skin seeing Emma just standing there staring at him. "Jesus Emma. How long have you been standing there?"

"How did you get those?" She blurted out without meaning to. She had no intentions of asking him. In fact, she was gonna ask her dad or Sonny later, but the words just came out.

Clay couldn't lie to Emma so with an unreadable expression on his face he reluctantly replied "A whip."

Emma was almost embarrassed for asking so she real quick said "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ask, I just- the words just came out before I could stop them." And then she just as quickly walked away.

Clay threw his shirt on and then sat down on the bed trying to figure out what his next move needed to be before deciding he needed to talk to Jason and Sonny.

Jason and Sonny could tell something wasn't right as soon as Clay stepped foot outside. "What happened? Are you ok?"

"Yeah, um… Emma. She uh… She seen my scars." Clay forced out.

'_Oh shit.' _Sonny thought.

"She what?" Jason asked even though he heard Clay loud and clear. They had no intentions of hiding some of what Clay went through while he was held captive from Emma. There was a time and a place for that conversation. Now though, they felt like they needed to have it sooner than any of them were ready for.

"She walked by as I was getting dressed. I had my back to the door and she asked how I got the scars." Clay admitted.

"What did you tell her?" Sonny asked.

"I told her the truth. That I was whipped. I'm pretty sure she regretting asking cause she took of towards your room almost before I finished answering her."

"I'll talk to her later. Fill her in a bit on some of the details that way neither of you guys are caught off guard like that again. How's that sound?" Jason asked wanting to make sure Clay was ok with him telling Emma some of the details.

Clay shook his head. "Nah. That's ok. I should be the one to do it." Clay said.

"Clay." Sonny broke in. "You really don't have to do. We can handle it." He knew Clay still had a hard time talking about it and was trying to make things easier for him.

"I'll be fine Sonny." Clay insisted and then headed back inside to wait for Emma to finish her shower.

Clay sat on the bed trying to figure out what he was going to say. As Emma walked by, he quickly called her. "Emma."

Emma stopped and looked into the room to see Clay sitting on the bed. He patted the spot next to him and she silently entered and sat on the bed with him. She had a pretty good idea what this conversation was going to be about and wasn't sure if she was prepared for it.

They sat there silently for a couple minutes, both trying to figure out how to start the conversation when Emma finally broke the silence. "I thought for sure I was never going to see you again." Emma admitted, fighting back tears.

"I know Em. There were days where I felt the same way."

Emma could see Clay fighting with what to say next so she tried to help him along. "I'm sorry I asked about your scars. I really didn't mean to."

"You don't need to be sorry about that Em. That's kinda why were having this conversation right now. I need to get better about talking about what happened to me over there." He paused. "So, go ahead. Ask me anything you want. I promise I'll do my best to answer."

"Anything?" Emma was kind of surprised that she was the one Clay picked to really open up to.

"Yes. Anything. If it's too much I'll let you know, but this is the best way I know how to do this."

"Why me? Why not my dad, or Bravo or the therapist?" Emma asked wearily, not wanting Clay to put his wall back up.

"Because you're a better listener than them and won't judge me. Don't get me wrong. Dr. Conners is great. He's helping a lot, but sometimes it's nice to have someone to talk to that can just listen. And as much as I love Bravo, I feel like the only thing they want to hear is that I'm gonna return to Bravo. If you're not up for it I understand."

"No. I'm up for it." Emma lied, knowing she had to do this for Clay. "Do you not want to return to Bravo?"

"Honestly, I don't know what I want yet. I mean, obviously I would love to operate again, I think… But I also need to face reality. What are the chances of them actually clearing me to return?"

"I'd say pretty high. You're Clay freaking Spenser. Nothing keeps you down." Emma tried making him feel better.

"I don't know about that Em. I'm a fucking wreck. I can barely sleep through the night, I'm jumpy around certain noises and my hands are always shaky. Kinda hard to be a sniper without a steady hand."

"Clay. No one is expecting you to make that decision right away. You've barely been out of the hospital and look at how much progress you made already. Take the small victories for what they are." Emma hoped she was getting through to him.

"Easier said than done." Clay mumbled.

Emma remained silent for another minute trying to build up courage to ask a tough question. "What was the worst part?"

Clay wanted to say all of it, but he really was trying to get better about talking about it and knew that answer wouldn't be enough. "The wondering." He finally answered.

"The wondering?" She repeated.

"Yeah. Wondering if each day was gonna be the day that I was either rescued or killed. Wondering what Bravo was up to and how they were taking it. Wondering if they were even alive and looking for me."

Emma had no idea how to respond to that. When she didn't answer, Clay continued.

'The pain, the torture, the constant hunger and dehydration. That all just became part of a normal day. Those things I could handle. What I couldn't handle was the not knowing.

Clay and Emma both had tears rolling down their faces. Emma really didn't expect for Clay to be so open with her, but she understood why she was the chosen one. She didn't have a dog in the fight. She would support Clay no matter what his future looked like. As much as Bravo supports him and says they're ok with whatever Clay decides to do in the future, they all know it's an act. Bravo is banking on Clay making it back to them. And Dr. Conners, as good as he was at his job, was working to get Clay back to Bravo as well.

Before they knew it, they heard the sliding glass door open and Jason and Sonny coming back in.

Clay decided he opened up enough for one day and they both wiped their tears and left the room and rejoined Jason and Sonny in the living room.

It was immediately obvious that both had been crying, which in a way relieved them because that meant they actually had a conversation and Clay didn't bullshit his way through it like he would occasionally try to do with them.

"You guys good?" Jason asked.

Clay just nodded and smiled.

Emma replied "Yeah. We're good." And sat on the couch between her dad and Clay.

"Ok good. We were thinking of taking it easy tonight. Pizza and a movie sound good?" Jason asked.

"Sounds great." Emma smiled.

Clay once again just nodded, wondering what made tonight any different than any other. They take it easy every night.

"Ok good, cause today was kinda eventful and we have another one planned for tomorrow."

Clay looked questioningly at Jason.

"Family BBQ with the guys and their families. That is, if you're up for it."

"Hell yeah." Clay replied, then thought about it. "Wait. Like everyone?" The guys have been in and out daily and aside from the rare appearance from Naima, he hasn't seen anyone else since he's been home. He wasn't even sure if Ray and Naima had told Jameelah he was alive yet.

"That's usually what a family BBQ is. Everyone." Sonny chuckled.

Clay looked from Sonny over to Jason. "Did Ray tell the kids yet?"

"They're gonna tell them in the morning. Everyone will be here around 1." Jason informed him, satisfied that Clay seemed excited to have everyone in one place at the same time. He just hoped everything went smoothly and they weren't moving too fast.


	21. Chapter 21

About an hour before everyone was supposed to start showing up, Clay felt the anxiousness start creeping in.

"What's on your mind?" Sonny asked, seeing the wheels turning in Clay's mind.

"I don't know. Just anxious I guess. I haven't seen a bunch of these people in ages and wondering what they're going to think of '_this_' Clay." Clay pointed to himself up and down. "What they're going to say, if they're gonna ask questions. I just don't know what to expect."

It killed Sonny to see Clay so unsure of himself. It was one of the new traits that had been a constant since he has been home. The once strong, cocky and stubborn Clay was now seemingly replaced by a doubtful, unsure and 'questioning everything' Clay. "You don't have to worry about that today. Everyone that's coming is family. They know enough to not ask questions. They just miss you and want to see you."

Clay hoped he was right and deep down believed him. There was just that one part of him that still always expected the worst and he felt like his appearance would draw in questions.

Physically, he didn't look half as bad as he did when he first came home. A few months of rehab, therapy and various other factors such as walks around the neighborhood with Brock and Cerb, lunches and some light home workouts with Trent and long conversations with Ray had him looking and feeling like the average human being again. You could no longer see every bone in his body, he was finally starting to eat regularly and overall was feeling better. He still had a ways to go before he reached his old physical appearance, but the improvements from coming home until now were astronomical.

Clay was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a knock at the door. Trent and his wife, Bri let themselves in before anyone could let them in carrying two large trays of desserts.

Trent and Bri were originally supposed to get married when they got back from the mission from Hell, but after losing Clay they decided to postpone it for a few months to give themselves and everyone else time to grieve.

As they walked in, Trent immediately went to find the guys while Bri dropped the desserts off on the counter, said hi to Emma and then made her way over to Clay who was sitting on the couch watching TV.

Clay stood up for a hug as soon as he noticed Bri making his way over to him.

"I missed you so much. I'm so glad you're ok!" She nearly sobbed as they hugged.

"Clay just smiled and replied "Miss you too." He didn't even acknowledge her comment about being 'ok' cause in all honesty he didn't always feel ok. Half of the time he just faked it.

They sat and made small talk for a few minutes until Brock and Cerb walked in carrying two large cases of beer, at which point Clay went to help him while Bri went back to the kitchen to help Emma.

Clay, Brock and Cerb headed outback to join Trent, Sonny, Jason and Full Metal who had arrived earlier, to put the beer in the coolers. Sonny was already slaving around the grill while Jason at a nearby table drinking beer and busting on him.

Brock and Clay joined them at the table after filling the two coolers. Jason immediately stood up, walked to one of the coolers that had cold beers in them and pulled out two. He returned to his seat, opened one of the beers and handed one of the beers to Clay.

Clay looked at Jason trying to figure out if it was some type of trick or something. He hasn't been allowed to drink since before he held captive.

"You better take it before I change my mind." Jason smirked.

Clay looks over at Trent as he reaches for the beer, still not entirely convinced this isn't some sort of trick, waiting for Trent to put a quick stop to it.

"You better take that beer before we both change our minds." Trent said, know Clay wasn't going to take it until he said ok. "Just pace yourself."

Davis and Mandy stepped outside as Clay was putting his almost empty beer bottle down on the table. "Woah! Look who's drinking!" Lisa teased.

Clay just smiled and hugged them both. He hasn't seen very much of either one of them since he was released from the hospital, but they would call or text from time to time to check in and see how was doing.

Lisa then immediately went over to Sonny and started cracking jokes about his BBQ skills.

Blackburn arrived next with his three kids. Him and his ex-wife divorced about a year before Clay joined Bravo. Part of their custody agreement was that Blackburn would get the kids every other weekend unless he was deployed or being spun up. Most of the time, when the team held family BBQ's, it was either before a deployment or a birthday, so unless the birthday fell on Blackburn's weekend, he didn't have the kids.

The three kids, ages 10, 7 and 6, all knew the members of Bravo, but they didn't have the close-knit bond that RJ and Jameelah did. They quickly said hi to everyone then ran out into the yard to play with Cerb.

The last ones to show up and the ones Clay was most anxious to see was Ray and his family. He had seen Ray and Naima multiple times, but they waited until last night to tell the kids that Clay was in fact, still alive.

RJ was still too young to really understand anything that was being said, but Jameelah wasn't. She was confused, cried and asked 100 questions before she finally fell asleep.

From the time she woke up until the time they left for the BBQ, all Jameelah did was ask what time they were going to see Uncle Clay. She was so excited to see him again so it was kind of a shock when they got to Jason's that Jameelah clung to Ray and was reluctant to go up to Clay.

"Baby, what's wrong? You've been asking to see him all day." Ray knelt down in front of her.

Jameelah looked her daddy in the eye and shrugged. "I don't want to hurt him."

"You don't have to worry about that. He's getting better now, remember? We talked about this last night. It's ok to give him a hug." Ray reminded her.

"But you said he's not all the way better yet." Jameelah nearly cried.

Naima knelt down next to Ray, trying to help him convince Jameelah that it really was ok to give Clay a hug.

"Jam-"she started to say, but was quickly cut off when Jameelah gave an adamant "No!" Then ran inside.

Ray and Naima both stood up to apologize and then go inside to talk to Jameelah, when they noticed Clay was already in the process of standing up and walking over to them to try to help.

"She talked about you all day. I don't know what's gotten into her, but I'll go talk to her." Naima said to Clay.

Clay put a hand on her shoulder to stop her. "Let me do it." Clay insisted and was on his way inside before anyone could say anything.

Emma and Bri were still in the kitchen finishing up the side dishes when Clay walked in. "Mind giving us a minute?" He asked.

"Not at all. We were just getting ready to head out." Emma responded as they both grabbed a few bowls and headed out the door.

Once they were gone, Clay walked deeper into the house and found Jameelah with her face buried in the couch, crying. He sat down next to her, gently rubbing her back. "Jameelah?" He said softly, trying to get her to look at him. When she didn't look, he tried again. "Can you please look at me Jameelah? I really missed you."

Jameelah slowly sat up, but made sure to keep some distance between them.

"There you are." Clay wiped a tear from her cheek. "Can I please get a hug now?"

"But I don't want to hurt you." She mumbled.

"It won't hurt me Jameelah. If anything, it will make me feel better." Clay said as he saw her contemplating his words.

"Are you sure?" She asked hesitantly.

"I'm positive. Now come here." Clay opened his arms wide for her.

Jameelah threw herself into his hug and buried her face in his chest and started crying again. "I missed you so much."

"I know Jam. I missed you a lot too. I thought about you every day."

She untangled herself from his arms and looked up at him. "Daddy said the bad guys got you and that's why you were gone for so long."

Clay just nodded while looking at her. "Yeah. They did." He sighed.

"Were they mean to you?" She asked, focusing on the scar under his eye.

Clay wanted to lie and say no, but he knew Ray and Naima had already told her a good amount and Jameelah was smart enough to know if he was lying. "Yeah. They were." He did his best to keep his answers short.

Jameelah then got real quiet, looking out the sliding glass doors that lead to the back yard then back to Clay. "What if they get my daddy next?" She asked quietly.

It was a question Clay was completely unprepared for. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't promise her that it wouldn't happen, but he also didn't want to add to her worry by telling her that so he came up with the next best thing. "Jameelah, I want you to listen to me, ok?" He stopped and waited for her to give him his full attention. "Your uncles and I will do whatever it takes to make sure that never happens. Do you understand me?"

"Do you promise?" She asked.

"I promise. Now come her and give me another hug." Clay smiled as she held him tight. "Alright. Now what do you say we get back to this BBQ?"

Jameelah nodded, smiled and ran out the door to go play with the rest of the kids and Cerb.

Judging by the smile on her face as she ran out the door, everyone could tell the conversation went well. Then when Clay made his way out, they noticed he was standing a little straighter than he has in a while and had that cocky grin back on his face. Before returning to his spot at the table, he grabbed a second beer.

As he sat down, all eyes were on him and he knew they were all dying to know what happened. Trying to ease their minds he offered a simple "We're going to be ok."

"What did you say to her?" Ray asked.

"Just that a hug would make me feel better."

"Ok, then what did she say to you?" Sonny knew there was more to the story and was trying to pry it out of him.

Clay shrugged again and just smiled. That was a conversation he intended to keep between just him and Jameelah for now. "She just asked a few questions and I answered them the best way that I could."

Realizing Clay wasn't going to spill the beans and reveal details of their conversation, they decided to drop the subject and continue on with the BBQ.

Towards the end of the BBQ, Clay noticed Lisa and Jason whispering to each other by the fire pit. Then he heard Jason asking for everyone's attention.

Once everyone was gathered around, he asked Clay to stand between Lisa and him. After a sweet little speech from Lisa, followed by a few additional words from Jason, all about how much they missed him and how glad they were to have him back and about all the progress that he's made, Davis held out a key for him.

"It'll be ready to move into next weekend." Jason smiled.

Clay was a little confused at first but once he realized what it was, his eyes and his smile grew. "Are you freaking kidding me!?"

"It's a three-bedroom rancher about ten minutes from base." Jason informed him.

"There's one more thing, hope you're ok with it." Jason said pointing to Sonny.

Sonny held up a key of his own. "We're gonna be roomies!"

Clay smiled even more and joked about how he would take anyone but Sonny as a roommate. In all reality though, he was super excited. Him and Sonny had been talking about getting a place together once both of their leases were up to help make things cheaper.

Once the excitement of that was done, Clay, who was now thoroughly exhausted, sat back down and watched as people started cleaning up around him. He smiled as they all joked around and made small talk with each other. For the first time in almost a year and a half he felt like everything was going to be ok. He had one of the best support systems around and knew that any time he felt down or like he wanted to give in, that they would be there to pick him up.

/

Three months after moving in with Sonny, Clay was cleared by everyone except for one person.

Dr. Conners.

He sat in the waiting rooming of his therapist's office, bouncing both legs anxiously, knowing that today was the day he either got the all clear or was off Bravo for good. He knew it was a decision that could go either way. He had made remarkable progress over the last couple months, he just wasn't sure if it was going to be enough for Dr. Conners to clear him.

"It'll be fine." Sonny kept repeating. He's be an idiot not to clear you."

Clay just nodded and smiled, waiting for Dr. Conners to open the door for their last therapy session.

The nervous pit in his stomach grew when the door finally opened and Dr. Conners invited him in.

Once he disappeared behind the door, it was Sonny's turn to bounce his legs.

Time stood still as he waited for Clay to re-enter the waiting room.

When the door finally opened and Clay stepped out, he couldn't hide the smile on his face. He then held up the letter from Dr. Conners stated that he had officially been cleared to return to Bravo.

Sonny couldn't be happier for him. The kid busted his ass to get to where he was today and the hard work had finally paid off.

As Clay drove them to base, Sonny sent out a group text letting everyone know Clay had been cleared.

Clay went on and on and on about how excited he was to be back and how much he couldn't wait to tell the guys, not knowing that Sonny had already done it.

As he and Sonny walked into the cages, there was balloons, cake, a welcome back sign and everyone gathered around his cage.

"How'd you guys know?" Clay asked as he shot a glare at Sonny.

would be a fool not to clear you. Jason patted him on the shoulder.

Clay just smiled, taking it all in. It took nearly two years, but he was finally back where he belonged.

**The End!**

**Just wanted to thank every single one of you that has stuck with me. It was a long crazy road and definitely a lot harder than I anticipated but Its finally come to an end. I hoped you all enjoyed this story and don't worry, there's definitely more stories to come!**


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